


in altera vita

by ariatl



Series: the way i think of you [4]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Canon, Angst, Anxiety, Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Romance, Side Kaetus/Female Ryder | Sara, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 59,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariatl/pseuds/ariatl
Summary: Ainsley's life was simple; Her nose was always buried deep in her artwork and her heart was held by her family. Everything was perfect, pieces falling into place as they set out for the long journey to Andromeda, hope twinkling in their optimistic eyes and a weight off of every applicant's shoulder for a chance to start again in a new galaxy -Only for that hope to dissipate before their very eyes when their arks collided with the Scourge. Ainsley had barely made it out alive, only to find the Nexus in complete disarray. The fear was tangible - Everyone was terrified, not sure what to do or where to go. They were stuck. Leadership was divided, differing opinions and brash personalities clashing until it was too much; Riots were often, more people joining over time. There was only one solution: Rebels are to be exiled - And Ainsley was one of them.She's going to survive. No matter what.





	1. new ways

A low creak sounded as her boot landed on the metal step, her body tensing as her grip on her gun tightened and her dark, green eyes widened. Her breath caught as a shoulder bumped hers, an armored turian passing by her and making his way up the steps. He glanced over his shoulder, an amused flicker of his mandibles as he stared down at her. “What, you a chicken now?”

“God, no!” Ainsley's body relaxed as she snorted and rolled her eyes, bolting up after him and a pale hand grabbing his shoulder as she rounded the corner. She hesitated, glancing around the empty hallway before looking up at him and cheekily grinning. “Why would I be a chicken?” They continued down the hall, her hand gesturing and the other never letting go of him. “We’re just going up some creaky stairs.”

“Yeah, sure, _just_ creaky stairs. That didn't just scare you just now.” A huff escaped him as they rounded the corner and he held his hand up, her steps pausing and her hand falling from his shoulder. His grip on his gun tightened as he glanced around the corner, his eyes taking in the empty corridor before motioning for them to move. “Totally not a shit ton of possible kett at the top floor, right?”

“Nope!” The slightest flicker of a grin curled the corners of her lips, a soft giggle coming from her. He scoffed, glancing down at the freckled ginger while she waggled her brows at him and continued. “Was it just here she wanted us to check or was there another place? I don’t remember.”

“Just this building." A pause, his brows furrowing. "Pretty sure just this one. We took out the rest a few months ago, right before you came here.” He spared a glance back at her as he walked up another flight of metal stairs, pausing at the top for her to reach him and continuing further into the compound. “Now, we’re just dealing with the stragglers and idiots who think they can take us on.”

“Oooh,” she hummed, her thumb brushing over the handle of her gun. “So, not just kett we’re here for, huh?”

“Smartass.” Kaetus rolled his eyes, reaching out to steady her as she tripped over her own foot. She shot him a sheepish grin and he sighed. “Not exactly, but we should probably expect the unexpected. Collective have been pushing a few of our squads out to the corners of the Badlands, trying to squash ‘em out. I’m not letting them.”

“Me either.” A soft sigh escaped her as they rounded a dark corridor, her omnitool casting a bright, orange glow through the hall as she got to work hacking the door's sequencer. “I’ve noticed a lot more recruiters around Kadara for them lately. Are they really getting that many? Hard to believe that they’re willing to die for some anonymous jackass who gets off on hiding their identity.”

The turian idly shrugged as the doors hissed open. “Yeah, they are. Honestly, it surprised me, too -” His twanged voice came to a halt as he grabbed her shoulders and threw her forward, crouching down and sliding up against a crate. "Hey! Kaetus, what the -" He held his talon up to his lips as she shot a glare at him, a soft shush leaving him. “Look,” he whispered, pointing ahead.

She sat back on her heels and peered over the top of the crate. Her eyes widened at the sight of a group of mercenaries gathered in the center, their voices low and quiet as a shaky breath left her before she ducked back down. Her ginger brows furrowed as she looked back at the turian, her mouth agape as her eyes hesitantly searched his. “Collective,” her voice nearly trembled. “Like, a lot.”

“I know. Like I said,” he waved his gun at her, opting to sit forward on his knees as he aimed over the top of the crate. “Expect the unexpected.” A wink at her, her eyes slightly widening before she grinned. “Go raise some hell, Ains.” 

A gunshot rang through the room and the air grew heavy as she ran into action, her body rolling over the crate and darting forward as her biotics crackled around her in blue flashes of hot energy. She ran right towards the cluster of people, her fist slamming into the ground and sending their bodies flying into the air before they could react.

"Fuck," her hand flexed as she recoiled, shaking it out and sprinting forward towards a box as the turian's gun went off. “Nice one!” Kaetus’ called out as she jumped over it into cover and she waved her hand above the box, shooting him a thumbs up before retracting it.

“Ainsley?” A trembling, hesitant, and nasally voice behind her made her skin crawl. Her hand tightened on her shotgun and she whipped around, the barrel of her gun pressed against the salarian’s forehead. "Hey!" His eyes widened as his hands shot up and his brows furrowed. “W-What are you doing here?”

“What –“ She froze, her gun falling from his forehead as her mouth fell open. “Oh, my God. Taelis?” A slight tremor settled in her arm as it fell lamely to her side, her heart falling and her lip quivering. “What – Why are _you_ here?”

“The Charlatan wanted whatever information was on the console up there." Taelis stared at her as he nodded his head to the platform behind them, his breath caught in his chest. "You didn’t – You didn’t answer my question in the first place.” He glanced down at her gun, realization slowly settling in as his arms fell in defeat. “You’re gonna have to kill me, aren't you?”

“I – No!" Her voice cracked, her eyes wide as she stammered. "No, maybe you can run or hide or –“

“Ains?” A familiar, twanged voice called out as gunshots quieted down and her whole body tensed. Her gun whipped back up to his forehead, an uncontrollable tremble in her arm. Taelis’ eyes squeezed shut, his hands gripping hers and folding his fingers over her digit on the trigger. “Do it, before he finds us.”

“Taelis, please –“

“Rip the band aid off." He pushed the gun against his forehead, a bead of sweat running down his temple. "Do it!”

“I’m sorry.” Her heart lurched as her finger pulled the trigger and she looked away as the bullet burst through his forehead, bile biting the back of her throat and her stomach twisting as his body crumpled back, lifeless. She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing back her full throat before she forced herself to stand up. Her hands brushed off her armor, holstering her gun as she faced the turian.

“Hey, you –“ She held up her hand as he spoke, nodding her head and letting out a soft breath as she glanced down at the salarian’s body and her heart broke. "It's -" Her voice hesitated as she ripped her gaze away from him and started for the stairs across the room. “I’m fine,” it almost cracked, her facade nearly fading. “Some salarian bastard snuck up behind me. Pinned me down.”

“Damn,” he sighed, shaking his head as they made their way up along the metal steps. It led them up to a small room with a terminal nestled in the center among computers and stacks upon stacks of datapads, desks filled and covered with idle clutter and cords. Kaetus whistled as he approached the terminal, his omnitool flickering to life as he tapped in and began to hack it. “Glad they didn’t get their hands on this, though.”

“What is it?” Ainsley peered over his shoulder. Her ginger brow curiously quirked up at he looked down at her and his mandibles slightly flared, an unreadable emotion dancing in his eyes as the terminal lit up and his omnitool faded. “Information about dead drops the Collective have been hoarding. This’ll help us do them in _big_ time.”

She nodded her head as he spoke, her eyes watching as the screen scrolled through an impossible amount of brackets filled with information after information. The sheer amount nearly made her head roll. “Wow,” a breathless chuckle, her brows slightly furrowing. “That’s… A lot. Like," she shook her head, " _a lot_.”

“Oh yeah,” he drawled as he grinned down at her. His eyes softened for the briefest second as he watched her take in the screen, forcing himself to look back at his omnitool as it lit up and began to download the information. “Let’s head back to Sloane. Pretty sure she'll love us for this.”

* * *

  
“Nice catch, you two!" Sloane whistled. " _And_ it's a good one.” The lazy grin that danced across her umber face as she lounged on her chair made the girl completely light up. "Glad to see a green bean pulling her own weight around here for once." She pointed at her guards, wagging her finger at them as they jumped and turned their omnitools on. "Take notes, jackasses."

"Oh," Ainsley cleared her throat, the slightest tug of a cocky smirk at the corner of her lips as she switched her weight from one foot to the other. “I mean, I couldn't have done it without Kaetus, you know.” She took in a soft breath as she glanced down at the floor before her eyes flickered back up and caught her gaze. Sloane's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to speak -

A hand clasped her shoulder and shook it, her head turning to catch the turian in question winking at her as he passed by. Sloane’s body slightly tensed, her throat loudly clearing and catching the girl’s attention. “That’s all for now." Her nose twitched, a hand darting up to rub at it. "You’re indefinitely excused until I need you again.” Her hand idly waved as she relaxed back against her seat, motioning at door. “Leave. Goodbye.”

Guards surrounded her within seconds and she swallowed thickly, slightly, lamely waving her hand as they ushered her to the doors and she was pushed through them. Her brows furrowed as her shoulders squared up and she headed for the exit, her mind racing.

The moment she hit the darkness outside of Outcast Headquarters, her entire body completely and utterly relaxed. A breath left her that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in and her eyes softened. “Gotta head to Kralla’s, still.” She sighed, sparing a wary glance around the empty marketplace before making her way down the small staircase and towards the bar.

Her hand hovered over her holstered gun as she kept her gaze focused ahead, watching for any slight flicker of movement from the corner of her eyes before she came to a stop at the club’s doors. She waited with a furiously beating heart until the doors opened and she nearly rushed in, savoring the loud boom of the music pulsing through her legs and shooting up her body, making her feel numb.

Ainsley hesitated at the doorway as her eyes glanced around the room, searching around before they landed on her contact and she made her way over to him. The faintly orange salarian with the slightest hint of yellow facial markings glanced up as she approached him and he spared a cautious glance around them, motioning for her to follow him further into the shadowed part of the table by him.

“Javek,” the ginger grinned as she sat down and he nodded his head, her eyes flickering over his white freckles as she spoke. “I’ve got quite the load for you tonight, just so you know.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Javek cleared his throat, his hands folding on the table as he leaned forward and his gaze met hers. A shiver ran up her spine at the angry look in his eyes, her blood running cold. “Also heard you killed Taelis.”

Her heart broke. A sharp sigh left her, her brows furrowing. “I didn’t _want_ to - He was my friend, are you serious?” She fell back in her seat as her hand angrily gestured. Her heel clicked the leg of the table, a rough sigh leaving her as her fingers rubbed at her temple. “Listen, I do what I have to just to keep up appearances with them, okay?"

She sharply sighed as she continued, her hand twisting in the air. "If I had let him live or run off, Kaetus would’ve known that something was up. I can’t just do that, not yet.” A slight tense of her shoulder as her eyes narrowed, her lip curling into a snarl. “Not unless you want to lose your _only_ contact in the Outcasts.”

“Okay, fine. Whatever - I get it.” He scoffed, his hands irritably rubbing down his face as his mind raced. A sigh left him as his hands fell and he glared at her, his eyes glancing down at her wrist. “What do you have for me?”

“Every known dead drop location for all of the Collective's supplies.” Javek’s jaw dropped and she idly nodded. “Sloane has them,” she lifted her wrist as her omnitool flickered to life, glancing up at him from under her light eyelashes and a shoulder slightly shrugged. “You _might_ want to make sure these locations get emptied and destroyed before tomorrow.”

“You have to be kidding me, right?” The salarian's eyes searched hers as she pursed her lips and shook her head. He roughly sighed as he pushed away from the table, his hands grabbing the back of his head as he stood and paced in front of her. “By _tomorrow_? That only gives us, not even, ten hours. This is a fucking nightmare! We can't - Are you serious?!”

“Chill, Javek.” Ainsley rolled her eyes as his body tensed. “We have a mass comms system, you know. Send them an alarm and tell them to clear out.”

His hands fell from his head as he looked back at her, his jaw dropping and his brows furrowing the longer he stared at her. “It’s not that simple, Ryder. We don’t _have_ the vehicles to move everything in one night, let alone enough shuttles to carry all of the people we have to get out of each location." He slammed his hands down on the table, pointing at her. "This is going to ruin us!”

“Everyone in the Collective knows that they’re expendable.” The ginger caught his gaze and his lips pressed together, a hand rubbing at his temple as his eyes squeezed shut and he straightened up. “They know what happens when you’re in a war, Javek. People die. If they aren’t willing to die for our cause, then they shouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“That’s not our call, Ryder.” Javek's voice slightly hesitated, his shoulders slouching in defeat as he fell back down into his seat with a loud, irritated sigh. “Okay, okay. Fine, I get it. Does she _seriously_ have all of these locations?”

“All of them.”

"You're certain?"

" _Extremely_ certain."

“Shit.” Javek’s body fell forward onto his elbows, his jaw clenching as his hand grasped under his jaw in thought. “I’m gonna have to tell the Charlatan about this before we do anything else. They might want us to just drop them, like you said.” He shook his head. "Either way, we're going to take a huge loss."

Her deep green eyes lit up at the name, a lazy grin dancing across her freckled face. “The Charlatan, huh?” She cleared her throat and leaned forward on her elbow, her hand coming up as she idly inspected her sharp, long nails. “Don’t think I’ve met them yet since I started working for you guys. I'm excited -”

“Don’t get too cocky." The grin on her face faltered, her expression slightly falling. "We have to contact them through a contact that goes to another contact that then goes through encrypted channels with voice changers." He bit his bottom lip, staring at her for a moment. She glared at him and he rolled his eyes. "Listen, I don’t even know who they are and I've been with them since they first started up.”

Ainsley groaned, her eyes squeezing shut as her hands squeezed into fists. “Just when I was _so_ close - Okay, fine." Her hands relaxed, folding in her lap. "What do you need me to do in the mean time?”

“Keep playing along with the Outcasts,” the salarian said as he stood up, his brows furrowing as he lifted his wrist and began furiously typing into his omnitool. “Convince them that you’re loyal, get more information from them. Anything that can help us weaken them or take them down. Then, when the time’s right, we’ll tell you.”


	2. numbers

Frustration pent up in her chest the longer she stared at the clerk, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Tension radiated between them and her jaw tensed. “You’re kidding me, right?” She scoffed, scuffing the heel of her boot on the grated, metal flooring of the store as her arms crossed. “It’s _easy_ , I’ve done it before – You input the sequencer into your omnitool, run it through once for the hack, then input the hacked sequence into the terminal and boom – Data.”

“It’s not that easy, kid.” His twanged voice sent a rush of anger up her spine. “Listen," he irritably sighed, a talon brushing over his fringe. "We’ve been permanently locked out of every Nexus database since the rebellion.” Dark eyes caught her irritated gaze as he leaned forward on his pointed elbows. “You know that.”

Their gazes locked as her deep, green eyes slowly narrowed. A slight shudder ran through her, the slightest flare in her nostrils, before she shook her head. “Yes, I fucking know that, Macrius.” Her hand roughly carded through her hair, catching on a few ginger strands before she sighed and her head rolled back. "God, I'm fucking -"

"I just..." Silence fell between them as she swallowed thickly, shaking her head in a vain attempt to keep calm. "I just need to know if they're okay. That's all I want to know." She squeezed her eyes shut as her voice broke, holding back the familiar bite of tears. “It's been months. Please, just… I - I don’t know." Her eyes opened and met his, the sadness in hers nearly overwhelming. "Contact me or whatever if something changes.”

Macrius almost felt a sharp pang of guilt rip through his heart. He snorted, folding his arms over his chest. “You know I will – As much as you are a little shit, you’re a damn good customer.” The slightest wave in his mandibles usually would've made her smile, only for her to frown more as he continued. "One of my favorites."

“Yeah,” she grumbled under her breath as she threw a wad of credits, definitely more than he needed, onto the counter, irritably wiping at her nose before shoving her hands into her pockets as she took off. “‘Cause my mom taught me not to tip like shit, obviously. Creds are why you like me.”

"Wait!" His voice made her freeze, her shoulders tensing. Her heart fell as she glanced back at him, teary, sad eyes meeting his gaze. "If you ever need help with anything, let me know." Her lip quivered, a frown. "I've got you, okay? You're not alone here, kid."

Her heart squeezed in her chest. The slightest tremble in her jaw nearly sent her over the edge. "Yeah," a breathless sigh as she rubbed her hand over her jaw, turning on her heel, "I am."

* * *

“Oooh!” A loud whistle escaped her as her favorite turian came into view, the happiest smile on her face as she lit up at the sight. She shook her head and clapped as his mandibles cockily flared, a grin on his face, and he held his arms out, doing a little spin to show off his awfully formal attire. Black and blues – Can never go wrong with that. Especially on a turian like him. “What’s the occasion, Prince? Meeting up with your fairy tale date for the ball?”

Kaetus snorted and rolled his eyes, pushing his rolled-up, dark blue sleeves higher up. "Oh, yeah." The pulsing lights of Tartarus accented the sharp features on his facial plates in the nicest way, booming music running through her legs and matching her heartbeat. It made her feel numb. “Meeting with the belle of the ball. Maybe even my second favorite person and,"his talon bopped her pointed nose as he rounded the table and she huffed, shooting him an irritated glare, "an important contact.”

“Belle of the ball? Wow, you fucking jackass.” Ainsley glared at him from under her light eyelashes, her lips pursed in the cutest way. A pale hand brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it behind a freckled ear, her ginger brows furrowed. Her eyes flickered down at the table before she looked back up at him, afraid to speak. "So," she hesitated, her cheeky grin slightly faltering. “Does Sloane still stand in my way?”

A deep rumble hummed in his chest for a moment before he wistfully sighed as he sank down onto the chair beside her, stretching his long, pointed legs out under the table and lounging a long arm lazily around her bare shoulders. Her heart totally didn't skip a beat, the slightest catch in her breath. “Maybe.”

“Drat!” Talons tapped a distracting pattern over her freckled, bare skin, hesitant, small fingers reaching up to pull her off-the-shoulder top up just a bit higher over her chest. "Just when I thought I had it in the bag."

His mandibles slightly waggled at her, amusement twinkling in his hazel eyes as he grinned. A hand reached out to tuck her long, ginger hair behind her other ear, hesitating a moment too long against her skin. "Well," his fingers tickled her skin and she swallowed thickly, “'least you’re my second favorite, right? Could’ve been way down there on the list.” A grin, a tilt of his head. "Lotta people on the bottom, y'know."

A ginger brow quirked up at him, brimming with curiosity. “You have a _list_?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Won’t ever see the light of day, though. So don't be askin' for it.” His legs crossed under the table and his boot tapped the tip of her high heel, her foot twitching before she whacked it against his as a scandalously-clad dancer approached them. He grinned, nodding his head at her. “Round of your strongest stuff for humans on me, and I'll have the dextro equivalent of ryncol.”

“Strong?" Ainsley shot him a confused grin before she laughed, arms folding over her chest. "What, you don’t wanna be coherent for our meeting tonight?”

Kaetus snorted. “I _never_ wanna be coherent for any shit involving Ferrous mercenaries." His voice irritably mocked their accents in a grumble under his breath, a hand smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt. "Hate those dumbasses.”

“God. I know, I know.” She relaxed back against the cushioned, red seat, crossing her ankles under the table and folding her hands behind her head. “They’re probably our most annoying contact – Though, they _are_ some of our highest paying ones. Hate 'em but I'd gladly do anything they wanted for how much they pay us.”

Before he could answer, the same waitress came back with a tray full of assorted shots, each overflowing with all kinds of alcohol. She sat the tray down, her bright eyes flitting from one to the other. “If you guys need anything else,” she lazily grinned at them, her blue eyes catching Ainsley’s and sending a rush of warmth up her spine, “don’t be a stranger. I'm Alysia.”

Ainsley watched in awe, her jaw slightly slack, as the umber woman strutted off, confident and sure of herself. A shoulder bumped hers and Kaetus laughed as she came back to reality, reaching for a shot as her face turned an impossible shade of red. “Looks like you have a fan.”

“God, I know.” The ginger groaned as she grabbed a shot and downed it, reaching for another and hesitating. Fuck it. She downed the second one in one smooth motion, clearing her throat and leaning back against the seat as her omnitool flickered on. Her fingers scrolled through the list, a sigh leaving her. “Ferrous is already twenty-five minutes late.”

“Welcome to my life.” The turian grumbled under his breath as he reached for another. “Probably won’t show for another hour – Love being notoriously late for whatever fucking reason. Stupidly annoying.” She chuckled and glanced around the room, green eyes slowly taking in the booming club before they trailed over to the railing across the room and she caught the sight of a man leaning over it. Her eyes struggled to focus on him under the changing lights. 

A gasp escaped her, her eyes taking him in as her eyes adjusted and his appearance slowly focused. The red lights of Tartarus accented his tawny skin in the nicest way, his sharp, dark features basked by intense shadows and hiding most of his face. His hands folded in front of him as her gaze met his honeyed one, intense and standing out amongst the darkness around him and drowning out all else. Her breath hitched, a near-predatory look flickering in his eyes. She briefly glanced over at the turian and back.

Gone. He was gone.

Ainsley blinked once, twice, disbelief furrowing her ginger brows before a familiar, twanged voice broke her out of her confusion. “Ains?” His fist bumped her shoulder and she looked over at him, her eyes narrowed and her mouth slack. “You good? Lost you for a second there.”

“I – “ She shook her head and leaned forward, grabbing another shot. “I’m good.”

* * *

“And I,” her words completely dissolved into a mess of a flurry of giggles, a deep, red flush across her face as she leaned further back against his lounging body. “I – I told him to, to...“ Slurred words trailed off and she snorted right back into her haughty, almost snorty laughter, her eyes and nose crinkling in the cutest way.

Kaetus roared with laughter, his head tilting back as his arm snaked around her shoulders and his fingers idly tapped a slurred rhythm against her skin. Their laughter slowly faded, her body wracked with the slightest tremor of leftover giggles and a cheesy grin on her face the longer she stared up at him. Her foggy mind barely registered the slightest shift of his mandibles, a strange look in his hazel eyes. Her heart skipped.

Without even a second thought, she pushed herself up and eager hands grasped his jaw, pulling him down into a deep kiss. A beat, a second, a minute passed before her senses flooded back in and her eyes widened as she pulled away from him, her jaw slightly tensing and her fingers twitching. “God, I’m sorry –“

A slight shift in his mandibles, the slightest excited flare - “Don’t be.” His talon grasped the back of her head, hair tangling and knotting around his fingers, as he yanked her back up and his husky voice sent a rush right up her spine. Sharp teeth lightly nipped her bottom lip and she gasped. He ran with the opportunity, his long, serpentine tongue snaking in and mingling with hers.

"Wait." Her shaky hand pressed against his carapace and gently pushed him away. She swallowed thickly, running a hair through her messy, knotted hair as she cleared her throat. “Are you…” Her green eyes squeezed shut, a curse muttered under her breath. Disbelief ran through her hazy mind, her bloodshot eyes tired. “Aren't you and Sloane still a thing?" A breathless chuckle. "‘Cause I’m not –“

“We’re not.”

She gasped, her eyes opening and meeting his gaze. He sharply looked away, brows furrowing and a slight fall in his shoulders. “What?”

“We broke up a month ago,” the turian irritably sighed, leaning forward on his knees and carding his hands over his fringe. “Didn’t feel like digging up old wounds, okay? Just wanted to have a good night with you tonight, I guess.”

Her hazy gaze trailed down and fell to her legs, a hand running over the velvet material of her leggings. The fabric tickled her hand, her drunk mind feeling disoriented the longer she thought about him. “I’m sorry ‘bout that, Kae.” She forced herself to look over at him and his shoulders softly shrugged, his hands wringing, filled with anxiety. “I know you two were crazy for each other.”

“Yeah, well.” A huff escaped him as he cleared his throat and stood up, brushing off his shirt. “Guess I should get going before I do anything else to ruin our relationship, yeah?”

A hand reached out to grasp his shirt. “Wait –“

“No, it’s okay." Kaetus shrugged away from her touch, hands stuffing into his pockets as he turned to face her. His eyes met hers and her heart skipped, her lips slightly parting before she pressed them together. He cleared his throat. "You good? Need me to walk you home?”

She frowned, the briefest hint of hurt flashing in her green eyes. “No, I’m fine. I’ll stay a little while longer to see if Ferrous ends up showing up but if they don't, I’ll probably head home around two.”

“Stay safe." He hesitated for a slight moment, his body torn between staying and leaving. Their gazes locked and his hazel eyes danced with the strangest look. "Call me if you need me, got it?”

“Yep.”

* * *

The rest of their unfinished shots later, she could barely think. Her mind fumbled as she hardly managed to get her stumbling ass out of her seat and much less through the bar to leave. She bumped and tripped over each barstool, nearly falling over the various velvet-like couches assorted through the club before opting to grasp the railing and follow it like a life line.

Tartarus’ red, dimly-lit surroundings grew hazy and faded as the doors hissed open and she took in a deep breath, stumbling her way out of the club. Some time ago, probably after the fifth shot, she’d managed to pull her hair up into a sad attempt of a bun. Pieces had fallen out and clung to the sweaty parts of her face, annoying her every step of the way. Her bloodshot eyes squinted as she tried to blow them away, only to no avail.

A sigh. “Goddamnit.” She wiped off the smudged eyeliner smeared under her eyes, staring ahead at the lift leading up to the Port across the clearing. It seemed… Far. And difficult to get to. Across a band of sulfuric ponds, down many flights of grated, metal stairs with gaps wide enough for her to fall through with one miscalculated step. The sandy ground spun and she groaned, bile biting at the back of her throat as she swallowed down a burning burp. “Shit.”

“Need some help?” A soothing voice behind her nearly startled her out of her skin, her head swimming as she glanced over her shoulder. “I saw you getting shit-faced inside and figured I should keep an eye on you. People love taking advantage of a pretty, young woman in a club.” A softly pink angaran woman smiled, her hands clasped in front of her as she walked down the few steps at Tartarus' entrance, embodying the pure definition of grace. “I’m Keema Dohrgun.”

“I-I’m,” her words slurred as she took in the soft green twinge of an undertone to her skin and she sheepishly smiled, shaking fingers tucking her ginger hair behind her ears. "Oh, yeah. I know they do." A breathless laugh escaped her as she caught sight of the slight purple freckles dotting the angara's face and she cleared her throat, feeling lame. “Uh, I'm Ainsley. I think.”

“Yes, I know.” Realization of her knowing her name flew right over her head as their arms carefully intertwined. A soft tingle tickled her arm and she quietly gasped, her arm twitching before it relaxed. Bioelectricity – Definitely not something she’s felt before. “Here, put your weight on me. I’ll make sure you get home safe, yes?”

“You – You’re an a-angel.” Ainsley breathlessly chuckled, a cheeky grin on her face as she leaned most of her weight onto the woman and they started the dreaded walk down the winding path of metal stairs. Words slurred and stumbled over each other, her face burning. "Like, a literal angel."

Her face lit up, the girl's heart skipping a beat as she admired it. “I know.”

The trip down the winding stairs and across the sandy clearing to the lift was… Jarring. She’d nearly fallen on her face a million times, despite having something as solid as an angaran woman to hold onto. By some unknown miracle, she’d finally made it onto the lift in one piece, sans heels, and it whirred to life with the slightest press of a holobutton.

“Now,” the angara's voice made her jump over the creaking and groaning of the metal shutters. Her eyes caught her bright gaze and she was taken aback by the soft look dancing in them. “How far do you live from here?”

“Uh, a ways. Quite a ways, actually.” Ainsley slowly blinked, her eyes spinning as the lift came to a sharp stop. Her stomach lurched and she swallowed thickly, her free hand pressing the back against her mouth. “I’m – I’m more in the slums area towards the back, right by the docks.”

“Oh, really?" Keema's grip tightened on the girl's as she helped her take an uncertain step off of the raised metal flooring. "You live in the slums?” She changed her grip to grasp her arm, turning to the pathway leading down to the docks and taking the first step as her arm snaked around her back for extra support. “How unusual.”

Ginger brows sharply furrowed and she sluggishly glared up at the taller woman, her foot tripping over air. She nearly crashed into her, hands tightening and steadying her before she let out a shaky breath and they continued. “Unusual how?”

“Well,” a long sigh escaped the angara as they started down a dwindling alleyway, lights dimmed and shadows lurking about. A street lamp flickered on and off, wiring sparking from exposed points. “Typically, Sloane’s favorites live in the nicer apartments and the slums are thrown to those not even worth her scraps of food.”

"I'm - " She shook her head and snorted, her bare foot skipping over a loose, metal grate. A curse muttered under her breath, her hand tight-knuckling the woman's forearm. “I’m not her favorite.”

“Word around here is that you are.” Keema grinned down at her, helping her stand upright and taking on more of her weight as they started down a flight of stairs. "Her favorite, that is. Wouldn't doubt it, to be honest. Are you sure you don't want to put your heels back on?" 

“What?" Ainsley irritably sighed, pointedly glaring down at her fumbling feet before her shoulders slacked and she groaned. "Fine, I _guess_. If I break an ankle and die, it's on you." That earned a laugh from the angara as she took them from the girl and knelt down, helping her slide them on and hook them. "Who’s spreading rumors about me?”

“Oh, I’m not telling.” She glanced up from her spot on the ground, mischief twinkling in her bright blue eyes. "I believe your kind has a saying for exposing those who are spreading lies."

“What, snitches get stitches?" A sharp giggle escaped the girl, her hand pressing against her mouth as a gag hit her. "God, you fucking spoilsport. This isn't prison, you know.”

Keema's eyes lit up as she laughed and she straightened, linking her arm back through hers. “Sloane is rubbing off on you.”

"Whatever." They slowly passed by dwindling alleyways and down dimly lit streets, her grip on the angara’s arm slightly tensing as they rounded a sharp corner. The road to her house was the worst at night – It had no street lamps and it was mostly abandoned, so no house lights were on and any source of light meant no good lurked around the corners.

“My house –“ A loud, twanged grunt interrupted her and her bloodshot, green eyes shot wide open. Their gaze caught before they glanced around, more following and growing more and more frantic by the second. Yelling broke out and the ginger jumped, fumbling for the hidden gun strapped to the inner-part of the side of her stomach under her shirt.

“Wait!” A gasp came from the angara as she sharply grabbed her wrist. “You’re too drunk to shoot, Ryder!" Her eyes met hers and the girl's nostrils flared, struggling against her near-iron grip. "You'll hurt yourself, you can't -”

Ainsley's body froze as a realization hit her, hard. "Wait," her brows sharply furrowed as she looked up, blurry, green eyes catching the angara's gaze. Confusion flickered across her soft features, her mouth falling open. “How’d you know my name?”

The slightest twitch of her brow bone furrowing before it relaxed made cold rush through the girl's body, a strange feeling much akin to fear settling in her tired bones. “You told me it earlier. Remember?”

“I didn’t tell you I was Ainsley _Ryder_!" Her hand ripped free from her grip, taking a stumbling step away from her. Green eyes widened, panic in her heart as she snapped her gun out. "I told you I was Ainsley!" Her eyes narrowed, words sobering up. "Not once did I ever mention my last name to you - Who the fuck are you?”

“I _already_ told you how I knew, _Ainsley_." Keema nearly snarled, her composure slightly slipping before her shoulders squared and a sharp breath left her. "Everyone here knows who you are, love. Sloane’s favorites are always well-known.” She reached for her, only for her to take a quick step back and aim her gun right at her. She sighed. Loudly. “You’re seriously not going to try to fight. You can’t even walk!”

Her trembling hand gripping the gun remained trained on her forehead, taking a careful step to the side. “Watch me,” she nearly slurred, stumbling on a step before she steadied herself. A deep breath, her shoulders squaring. “If you make one sudden move, it's fucking over." 

The look in the angara's eyes nearly sent a shiver rushing up her spine. "Fine, do it. Let's see how well it works out for you, yes?"

“Shut up.” Ainsley's voice snapped, stepping closer and pressing the gun to her forehead. "I should've known better than to trust some random ass stranger off of Kadara." One step after the other led away from the woman, her eyes trained as her back carefully inched towards the dark alleyway. The yelling faded with each move, gradually dying down until an eerie silence fell in the air and goosebumps tickled her skin.

"Don't move - If I see you take even a step, you're dead." A tremor settled in her limbs as she slowly turned away from the angaran woman, holding her gun close as trembling legs made their unsteady way down the dark alley. Her hands fumbled for the flashlight on her omnitool, the light flickering on and washing over the darkness -

"Kaetus?!" A gasp ripped from her throat and her nostrils flared as her legs nearly gave out. Her body stumbled forward before she fell to her knees and she crawled her way over to the limp body on the floor. Hands gently grasped the turian's carapace, rolling him around -

"Oh, my God." The worst gag rolled through her body at the sight - Bruises, dark and bloody and horrid, drenched every area of his body. His carapace had rips and tears through it, blue blood seeping and spilling out beneath his weak body on the metal floor. Frantic, hazel eyes met hers and tears overflowed at the edges, his voice gurgling as he tried to speak. "Holy shit," she grasped his jaw, tears blurring her already hazy vision. 

"Kaetus, how - How the fuck?" Tears ran down her cheeks and she sobbed, hands trembling as she gently lowered his head and another gurgle ripped from his throat. He was choking on his own blood. "Don't talk, please -" Her hands shook as furiously tapped into her omnitool as it flickered to life, sniffling and blinking back the tears. Eyes frantically glanced from the orange glow to him, her breathing unsteady as her chest heaved. “I need help – Kaetus was beaten. Bad. I don’t know by who, please –“

The feeling of being watched hit her. Hard. A scared glance over her shoulder revealed nothing but air, the angara gone. Gone - As if she had never been there in the first place. What? “Jesus Christ, I’m fucking hallucinating now. Just my luck,” a sharp breath left her as she turned her attention back to the turian, her heart sinking as her comms flickered back on and voices rushed through. "Please -"

* * *

Nakamoto rushed by them in a white blur, his dark brows furrowed as he held a datapad close to his chest and disappeared through the doors of the throne room. Silence fell between them until the doors hissed shut and a sniffle ripped the silence apart. “How’d you find him?” Sloane's voice came out hoarse as she wiped at her tired eyes, pushing up from her spot on the wall in favor of moving towards doors leading out of her room in Outcast Headquarters.

“I –“ The briefest thought of telling her about the angara raced through her mind before she swallowed the thought down. No, way too risky - Definitely need to look into that more before telling her about it. “I was walking home last night, after waiting for Ferrous to show up. He left before I did - Had too much to drink and wanted to get some rest. You know, sleep it off.” She fumbled with the hem of her sleek, black jacket as they walked through the room. “Heard yelling and a fight going on and when I went down the alley, he was there.”

“Fucking shit.”

“I know." Ainsley swallowed thickly, her voice trembling. "He looked… Bad. Bruises everywhere – His only good eye was pretty battered, too.” A shaky breath left her as she followed the woman through the open doors and they approached the railing of a metal, barred balcony. Fingers trembled as she grasped the bars, her green eyes squeezing shut as she fought back the rush of tears. “Who do you think could’ve done this?”

Sloane scoffed, a hand sharply twisting in the air as sadness gave way for anger. “The stupid fucking Charlatan, obviously." Malice ran through her voice. "They’ve had it out for us since day fucking one – Wouldn’t be surprised if they’d plan on grabbing you, too.” She looked over at the ginger, dark brows furrowing as her eyes flickered up and down her body. A strange look danced in them, almost something akin to admiration, before it disappeared. “Guess you just beat ‘em to the punch.”

“I mean," a shudder inched up her spine and she sighed, feeling self-conscious under her gaze. "I heard footsteps following me, but I had my hand on my gun the entire walk there. Nothing happened.” An idle shrug. “I don’t know. Felt like I was being watched when I was calling for help, though. I didn't see anyone, at least.”

Silence fell between the two, the soft chirping of birds dancing back and forth as the wind rushed by. Her green eyes glared down at her boots as her mind raced with thoughts, the slightest ache in her tired brain. The possibility of just who could've done this made her sick - She valued her alliance with the Collective, but now -

A soft snort followed by the woman clearing her throat broke her from her thoughts, glancing up to catch Sloane pointedly glaring at her. Her eyes widened. “Weren’t you at the riots on the Nexus? I remember your face.” Heterochromia eyes slowly took in her soft, rounded features on her freckled face, her grip on the railing tightening as she leaned forward. “Definitely remember your face running around in Operations.”

Sloane's lips pursed the longer their faces remained mere inches apart before she looked away and down past the balcony, watching the idle flow of the Badlands below. “Don’t remember why you were there, though. Lotta shit was happening at the time, so. You know.”

“I was Addison’s assistant.” Ainsley shifted her weight from one foot to the other. The woman made a sound akin to a snort in response, sharply nodding her head and she laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I helped her sort out shit for Colonial Affairs before the Initiative.” She paused. “Well, I was also supposed to help her out afterwards, too, but we didn’t really have any Colonial Affairs to handle when I woke up."

Her boot nudged the railing, willing her voice to remain steady as she continued. "I wasn’t a part of the actual riots, though. I just left when all hell broke loose - Guess I just didn't wanna deal with the backlash that was gonna come.”

“Why’d _you_ leave?”

She scoffed. “Isn’t it obvious? You left too, Sloane." A slight grin curled the corner of her lips. "I followed _you_.”

“Ha, funny.” Sloane snorted, rolling her eyes. “I had my own reasons for leaving, obviously. Was completely and utterly done dealing with them anymore. They played dirty. I mean – I also play dirty, but what they did wasn’t right. Not with all those peoples’ lives. I gave them -” A breath, a sigh, a fist clenching before her shoulders fell in defeat. “You, though? If you apologized to those stuffed, bushy collars, they’d take you back in mere seconds." A hand ran through her braids. "They’d probably shoot me on sight.”

The ginger rolled her eyes, leaning her back against the metal railing beside the woman. “I highly doubt that, Sloane.” She chewed her bottom lip in thought, her head tilting as she watched the Badlands below them bustle about. “I said some pretty choice words to Addison and Tann before I took off – I really doubt I’d even have the same position I was in, anyway. Probably a lackey like I am now, honestly.”

A moment of a strange, companionable silence hit them before Ainsley suddenly entirely lit up, a beaming grin slowly growing on her freckly face. “Wait, Sloane?” She caught the woman’s gaze and watched as her dark brow quirked up in curiosity. A slight nod and she cheekily smirked from ear to ear, her lips pursing in cocky confidence. “Did you just _compliment_ me?”

“What?!” Sloane’s jaw dropped for the briefest second before she sharply cleared her throat, her body effortlessly relaxing back into her typical carefree stance. “Oh, wait - What’s that?” She pushed away from the railing as a shit-eating grin slowly curled at her lips, cupping a hand around her ear as she leaned towards the open doors. “Oooh, I see.”

Her eyes slowly widened as she pretended to listen to the imaginary voice, her expression gradually changing one after the other, and she waggled her dark brows after an all-too-long pause. “Sounds like someone’s calling for me.” A shoulder idly shrugged, shaking her head as she started to walk away from her. “Coming!"

“Very funny! We have comms, Sloane." Ainsley called out after her, hands on her hips as the woman dismissively waved at her. "Nobody’s calling you!”

“Oh, is that true?” The woman's voice grew into a yell, her steps faster as she disappeared through the doors. Her voice boomed through the room, shooting out through the balcony and scaring a flock of birds away. “Ryder’s favorite lapdog is starting to feel better?” A glance over her shoulder from inside, mischief twinkling in her heterochromia eyes, made her groan. “On my way!”

“Fuck you too, Kelly!” Ainsley ran in after her, hands balled into fists at her sides. Guards flooded after her and the woman held her hand up as they grasped the girl's arms, shaking her head. "Hey, wait -"

“Hey! Let her come," Sloane shot them a dirty glare as they slowly released their tight grip on the girl. "I need to talk to her." A pause, no movement. "Alone." They hesitated, torn glances between each other, and she scoffed. "Scram!" Her yell echoed through the room, their bodies jolting and rushing away.

As the guards disappeared through the doors and hydraulics hissed through the room as they hissed shut, she looked back at the ginger, irritably rolling her eyes. A hand ran across her braids. "Figured I should let you know that someone paid off your protection fees for an entire year 'fore I let you take off."

Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I know. Not sure who, though." Sloane made her way up the small steps to her throne, plopping down on the chair and spreading her legs while her hands idly gestured, almost annoyed. "Anonymous." Her cheek leaned on her fist, a shoulder shrugging. "Don't worry, though. I'll find plenty of other fees for you to pay up instead." 


	3. no care

The sterile scent of the air made her feel numb the longer she sat there, a faint beat of his heart from the monitor behind his bed punctuating the silence every few seconds. She was torn between staying and leaving - What if he wakes up and she's not there? Or what if he ended up not waking up... No, she couldn't even stomach the thought. She sighed, glancing around the lightly decorated room in an attempt to distract herself. 

It was definitely one of the nicer hospitals Kadara had - It almost reminded her of the medbays back home, little cubicles of rooms here and there, blocked in by glass. Metal tables covered by white sheets were dotted around the room, medical instruments scattered over the tops. The window to the end of his room stared down at the vast wasteland of the Badlands, an orange hue cast through the room and bathing them in a rich wash of color. Her mind flickered back to what Sloane had said and her heart skipped.

“I don't get it,” she mumbled under her breath, toying with the edge of the white sheets beside his unmoving body as she looked back down at him. His sullen, tired face was nearly enough to make her burst into tears. “Who could’ve possibly paid them off? It's not like anyone here loves me enough to do shit like that.” Ginger brows slowly furrowed, her eyes flickering down to watch her bruised knuckles twist in the sheets. “It makes no sense –“

A slight croak came from the turian beside her and her green eyes widened. He groaned, recoiling into himself as his eyes squeezed shut and his mandibles flared. “What you mumblin’ ‘bout over there?” Relief. Oh, God - Relief. His twanged, hoarse voice sent a swift rush of relief right up her spine and she couldn’t hold back a smile as his hazel eyes cracked open to look at her. “Know I’m all beaten up and shit, but I’m not deaf.”

“It’s –" Her breath caught as she met his gaze and she grinned from ear to ear. "It’s nothing, honestly.” Ainsley scooted her chair closer to his bed, her eyes flickering over his battered and bruised carapace. Her heart ached and she swallowed thickly, reaching out to wipe a bit of smudged, blue blood off of his arm. “I’m - I was just thinking about work. You know how it is.”

“Ah.” A soft sigh escaped him as he lifted his talon, staring down at it. His hand slowly balled into a weak fist before it relaxed and fell back down to his stomach. He cleared his throat, eyes narrowing at the slight burn in his throat before he looked over at her, his mandibles slightly twitching and the monitor behind him skipping a beat. "You know," he grumbled quickly under his breath before he looked back up at the ceiling of the Outcast's medbay. “I feel like shit.”

“I bet." She grinned, reaching out and gently grasping his talon. "You looked like major shit when I first found you – Like, even more like shit than you usually do, honestly.”

"Wow." A sharp laugh escaped him, his eyes squeezing shut as a sharp surge of pain rushed through his body and he winced. Words faded off into a slight cough and he grinned over at her, letting out a soft breath. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Ains.”

“I’m only funny for you.” A gentle squeeze of his hand made the monitor skip again. Her heart felt funny as he rolled his eyes and nodded his head, looking away from her. “Uh huh.”

They fell quiet, her hand slightly trembling before she pulled it back and swallowed thickly. "So," she softly started, fixing the blanket laid over his stomach and smoothing out the wrinkles. “Any idea who got you?”

"Shit," he scoffed, wincing as he scooted back and pushed himself up. She quickly grasped his shoulders and supported him, a strange look flickering in his eyes as he continued. “I’m solidly sure it was the fuckin’ Collective. Zero doubt – I saw their shitty little badges when they grabbed me.”

“Are you sure, though? You _were_ drunk outta your mind.” Gazes locked as she spoke, the look in his eyes making her heart skip. His brows furrowed before he sharply shook his head and his mandibles shifted in pure disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Doesn’t matter if I was fucking drunk - My vision was fucking fine." His voice cracked and he scoffed. "I _could_ see. Just 'cause I was drunk doesn't mean that I was blind.”

“Kae…”

“Don’t ‘Kae’ me, Ainsley." Kaetus glared at her, his nostrils flaring as anger danced behind his tone and his voice started to rise. "I know what I saw. You can sit there and play innocent, but it's almost like you've been defending the Collective lately." Her heart sank and she let out a sharp breath as he continued. "It's suspicious as hell.”

"I'm not defending them!" Her eyes squeezed shut and she sharply looked down and away. A sigh left her as her shoulders fell in defeat and she bit her bottom lip in thought. “Do you want me to look into it?" She started after a moment, her voice soft and trying to sound steady. "See if I can snoop around their hideouts in the Badlands and see if I find anything about any attacks?”

“Why wouldn’t you in the first place?” His eyes slowly narrowed and her throat felt dry. A slight slip in her train of thought made her stomach sink and she felt  _nauseous_ \- The near-scolding tone in his voice made her want to curl up and hide. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find the words, stuttering and stammering. “Well, Sloane –“

“Don’t fucking ‘Sloane’ me, either – I’ve been covering your ass since day one ‘cause others felt shifty about you, like somethin’ was off." A hard twang in his voice made her wince. "Why _wouldn’t_ you check out the possibility of the Collective attacking a high-ranking member of Outcasts, which you’re a part of?” Green eyes slowly narrowed as he continued, her jaw tensing. "You're with the Outcasts, aren't you?"

“I was just fucking _asking_ , jackass." She shot up from her seat, kicking it back and grabbing her jacket as it skidded. "And I’m not a goddamn high-ranking member," her finger pointed in his face as she leaned over, her face mere inches from his. His mandibles flared. "I’m literally on the lowest fucking totem pole that the Outcasts have. Jesus Christ, I don’t know who shoved that stick up your rigid turian ass, but you're being _ridiculous_." Her jacket whipped as she turned, putting it on. "Bye.”

* * *

 _  
“Ryder,”_ Javek’s voice chimed in through her comms a step before she was to walk through the Outcast Headquarters' open doors. Her entire body tensed as her eyes shot wide open and she took a step back, sharply turning on her heel and walking away from the guards. She pressed her lips together as her shoulders hiked up.  _“You wanted to talk?”_

“Uh, yeah.” Ainsley waved at a clerk as she walked past their storefront, following the pathway leading to a balcony off to the side. It took her to a secure and closed off section just behind the store with a view of a steep drop down to the Badlands below. She took in a deep breath and leaned over the railing. “I had alotta questions, actually. Why did you –”

 _“Listen,"_ she rolled her eyes as he interrupted her, _"I can’t talk right now – I’m in the middle of extensive research in our base in the Draullir caves. Can you head on down and meet me here?"_  Her jaw dropped. _"That’ll be way easier for the both of us, especially 'cause I have some time-sensitive stuff I can't just leave and come back to later.”_

“God, the base?" Her voice rose before she clamped her mouth shut and sighed, warily glancing over her shoulder in the direction of the marketplace. She leaned further forward, her voice growing soft. "That totally won’t look weird as hell - An Outcast member running around in the Collective's well-known caves.”

_“I know you, Ainsley. You’ll figure out a way to sneak off without anyone ever noticing. They’ve got people that go out scouting for things, you know. Just join up with them or something because I can’t come see you right now.”_

“You’re literally the worst friend _and_ contact ever and I hate you. Like, a lot.” Her brows irritably furrowed as she disconnected the call and her wrist fell. She pushed away from the railing, taking a few steps away before her omnitool flickered back to life on her wrist and his voice chirped back in.

_“Oh, sure. You’re just as bad as I am! Should I remind you of the time you accidentally picked up Sloane’s call in the middle of one of our meetings, literally in our base? That was -”_

“Oh, my God - Blocked, indefinitely!” She sharply turned her wrist down, watching as the orange hue stuttered off and she shook her head. An irritated sigh left her as she glanced around, making sure nobody had seen her, and she took off down the balcony.

* * *

  
It took quite a bit of talking, a little bit of bribing, and a lot of excuses for her to hitch a ride on one of their usual groups' runs through the Badlands. Picking up weapon caches and medical supplies – Usual things, not too important and definitely takes them long enough for her to sneak off and back without ever being noticed.

Her steps came to a stop at the wide doors hidden under a mass of rocks and through a winding tunnel system, towering lamps posted along the trail and lighting up the dark pathway. A knock on the door, followed by a soft then a hard one, echoed and bounced against the cave's walls. "Come on," she grumbled under her breath before the doors gave way and hydraulics hissed as they opened.

"Okay -" Guns cocked and aimed at her face before she could even finish, her hands shooting up and her eyes widening. She swallowed thickly, her shoulders tensing. “Hey now," she grinned, anxiety lightly dancing behind her words, "they’re expecting me –“

“What’s the password?” One guard growled low at her, the krogan shifting his weight from one foot to the other as his grip on his gun's handle tightened. She glared at him and he took a step forward. "Password. Now."

“Are you serious? It’s the stupidest fucking password!” None of the guards moved, their guns aimed right at her head. She sighed, shooting the krogan a dirty look. “Come on, I know all of you! Do I really have to?" They tried to fight back grins, the corner of their mouths twitching. "God, I can’t even – okay." Her eyes squeezed shut before they rolled open, a grimace on her face. "Sloane sucks twenty-four.”

“Okay,” a cautious glance rolled from one to the other, the slightest snicker from one before he got elbowed and he sharply quieted down. “You can come in, Ryder.”

“Is that the actual, legitimate password that everyone has to say or have you guys been pulling my finger the entire time?” Ainsley took a step inside, glancing back at them as they formed a semi-circle behind her and followed her right on her heels. “’Cause I highly doubt you’d make the Charlatan say that kinda password if they ever came by.”

“We ain’t seen the Charlatan and it wouldn’t matter – They never visit in person.” The krogan sniffled, wiping at his nose. He stared down at his dirty hand before wiping it on his armor and she nearly gagged. “Besides, pretty sure they hate Sloane just as much as we do, so it don't matter.”

“Oh, I don't doubt that.” A slight grin pulled at the corners of her lips, her eyes roaming over the expanse of the base. The cave was pretty empty save for three, towering buildings. Two were nestled in each corner of the cave and in the middle was the third, settled right in the dip of a low valley. Jagged rocks darted up on its sides, hindering the view of a staircase that led further below to the base's prison. "I always forget how big this place is."

Their steps came to a pause as they reached the end of the bumpy pathway, stacked rocks breaking and leading to a drop below. She looked out at the winding, metal staircases scattered around the cave’s system and surrounding the buildings, her eyes narrowing as she tried to remember the exact layout. It's been awhile. “Where’s Javek? The greenhouse?”

“Yep. Don’t get lost,” he harshly patted her back and sent her stumbling forward, the girl barely catching herself before nearly tripping over the edge. She straightened and shot him a dirty glare, hands balling into fists. “Don’t feel like digging your body outta any rock collapse.”

“Okay, you know what, dude?” Ainsley started all too quick, her eyes narrowing. His body tensed, his nostrils flaring and his eyes narrowing, as he stared down at her. Green eyes met dark, angry, and narrowed ones, the look in them so intense it made her skin crawl. A moment was drawn out between them, tension flickering until she rolled her eyes and turned away, taking in a quick breath as he snorted.

“You're lucky I don't feel like brawling with a krogan today,” she grumbled under her breath as she approached the lowest point of the pile of rocks they’d been on and jumped down, landing with a soft grunt. She took in the endless walls of brown-gray rock upon brown-gray rock, dimly lit by scattered lights and small, flickering lanterns.

Heat lamps sat towards one corner, the rest of the cave an almost eerie chill. Wires sparked from various parts of one of the buildings she’d passed by, the walls crushed in and the doors malfunctioning, opening and closing, opening and closing. They glitched open as she passed by and her body froze as they opened, her jaw dropping at the sight.

The man she’d seen leaning over the railing in Tartarus stood there, hands on his hips and his eyes trained on the redhead in front of him as she vividly talked, her hands gesturing wildly. One of the fans lightly blew at his dark hair, strands falling over his eyes before a tawny hand came up to brush them away. Words became muted the longer she stared, her eyes wide and her legs cemented to the ground.

Golden eyes flickered over to meet her gaze and a lazy smirk crawled across his face, sending a rush of warmth right up her spine. It brought her crashing right back down into reality - Cold followed the warmth and she couldn’t leave fast enough. Her feet moved before she could think twice, following the winding staircases before they gave way to paved rock that led to their makeshift greenhouse.

“Javek?” Ainsley warily called out, taking in the potted plants scattered around and clumped together in some places. The salarian jumped from his spot behind a flowering tree, green leaves jostling as he poked his head up from the colorful mess. A grin danced across his orange face as she approached him and she giggled. “There you are.”

“See? Told you that you’d find a way to escape.” Javek eagerly grinned as he untangled himself from the tree and pushed away, making his way over to her. “What do you think? It’s taken me a few months, but I think it’s coming along pretty well.”

“Oh, hell yeah.” Wide, green eyes slowly took in the place. Many of the flowers were still mere buds trying their best to blossom, but despite having no actual sun, most of the trees had flowered and formed. Some had actual fruits growing on it, a few spurts here and there, but it was enough to instill hope that they'd have a steady food supply. Green leaves dotted the cave’s floor, forming small circles around the pots. “Way better than Hydroponics looked back on the Nexus.”

“Aw, you always know how to make me blush.” A soft, red flush danced across his orange cheeks and he reached out, running a hand down one of the leaves’ veins. It hesitated, his eyes watching it move under his touch before his hand fell and he looked back at her. “I sometimes miss it there. Do you?”

“Uh, hell no. No, I don't, Jav.” She shrugged, leaning against the large, square pot beside her. “I mean, even before everything with the rebellions went down, it was still a hot mess. Bet they’re suffering ‘cause they lost one of their best botanists though, huh?”

Javek snorted, unable to control the cheeky grin dancing across his face as he ruffled up her hair and he rounded her, leaning against the dark concrete beside her. “And I bet Addison’s suffering missing one of her most knowledgeable assistants. I liked you a hell of a lot more than Spender - He always had this weird, shady vibe about him.”

“God, I know, right? I always got the worst gut feeling whenever I was around him." Her hands gripped the edges of the pot as she looked down and she paused, her tone growing serious. "Anyways, reminiscing isn’t why I’m here.”

“Yeah, I know." He took in a deep breath, running the back of his hand over his forehead. "Hit me with it.”

“So, I don’t know if you knew, but some of our people beat up Kaetus.” Green eyes met dark ones and her eyes narrowed, her nose slightly twitching. “He was bleeding out when I found him.” She was met with silence and her grip on the pot tightened, knuckles bulging. "I'll ask you one more time. Did you know?" The slightest tense in his shoulders gave her the answer. Her shoulders fell. “Why didn’t you tell me, Javek?”

“Because I knew you'd try to stop it, Ainsley! It's _dangerous_ ," he leaned in closer, his voice falling low as he glanced around. "People have been questioning your loyalty." Her stomach sank, goosebumps rushing down her back. His hands reached for hers and she backed away from him, her eyes wide. "Listen to me - You can't do this, okay? Falling in love with one of our enemies isn’t something you should do, especially with one that was our biggest enemy’s boyfriend for a long ass time.”

“I’m _not_ in love with him!" She shook her head in disbelief, her words hesitating. "I’m –“

“Ah, there you are.” His richly-accented, warm voice made her words fall right down and she looked over, green eyes widening as she squeaked quiet. “Thought I’d find you here, considering that you love to…” A slight hesitation as he approached them, a slow grin as his honeyed eyes glanced around at the pots before they met the salarian's. “Geek out over plants, I suppose.”

Javek nearly grinned from ear to ear. “Hey, Reyes. Don’t think you’ve met Ainsley yet, have you?” He looked over and paused as she visibly paled for the briefest moment, a weak smile on her face. He patted her back and she looked over at him, slightly nodding her head. “She’s our inside contact with the Outcasts. And a pretty damn good one, too.”

“A pretty one, indeed.” The lopsided, lazy smirk on his face only grew as she bit her bottom lip, determined to keep a straight face. He held out his hand and she took it, squeezing it roughly and giving it a firm shake. That same near-predatory look flashed in his whiskey eyes and her throat felt full before it disappeared. “I have a feeling you and I are gonna be friends.”

“Oh, sure.” Ainsley let out a soft sigh, running the same hand through her ginger hair. It caught on a knot and she cleared her throat, her mind lingering on his touch. “Everyone loves me, y'know? I get along just fine with literally anyone.”

“That's for sure. You get along with some a little _too_ well,” the salarian beside her quipped and she shot him the _dirtiest_ glare, her hand balling into a fist – “Wait, wait, wait! I’m just kidding!” His hands shot up, a nervous chuckle escaping him as he took a few steps away from her and reached for his clippers.

“Anyways," Reyes' eyes flickered from one to the other, "I came to check on how our little garden is doing.” He took a step back, whiskey eyes roaming over the towering pots filled with trees and almost-blossomed flowers. “Not too shabby for being underground, yeah? I have some pretty high hopes for it.”

He looked back at her and her breath caught. She quickly nodded. “Honestly, I couldn’t imagine doing what Javek does. I mean, I watched him work sometimes back on the Nexus but ‘cause everything was going to shit, nothing ever really worked out like it did here.”

A pause made her stomach sink, his brows quirking up. “You were on the Nexus?”

“Yeah, I got caught up in that Scourge disaster. I left during the uprising.” Her eyes slowly flickered up and down his body, taking in the slight muscular curves mostly obscured by his armor. The briefest thought of what he could possibly look like under it made her feel sick, brows briefly furrowing. "I was Addison's assistant," she willed herself to continue, "which mostly consisted of me doing all her work for her."

A soft sigh left her as her eyes trailed back up to his, only to find them trailing down her body. She scoffed, slamming her hand on the pot and catching his attention. Her fingers gestured to her eyes. “My eyes are up here, jackass." He caught her gaze and a lazy, lop-sided grin crawled across his lips, making her legs feel numb the longer she stared at him. "You look kinda familiar.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.” Reyes breathlessly chuckled as he turned his attention to a tree, reaching out to trail his tawny hand down its leaves. “I left during the uprising, as well - Though," his laugh danced behind his words, "I wasn't a part of _that_ shit show.” Whiskey eyes glanced out of the corners, admiring her freckled appearance and her messy, ginger hair.

"Same here." Ainsley cleared her throat, her face feeling hot as silence fell among them. She scuffed her boot on the rock floor, the sound echoing, as she glanced over at the salarian. Javek was immersed in his plants, trimming a few leaves and staring at them intently before reaching back out and taking a leaf in his hand. An idea hit her. “So, what’s your position with the Collective? I know Javek is more of the botanist, assistant-y kinda guy.”

“Oh,” an airy sigh escaped him as he took a step towards her, oozing confidence. His hand idly gestured, her eyes watching it move about. “I do quite a few things for the Collective: Mundane tasks, helping them get their rarer supplies, such as guns, ammo – Aiding them with their funding. You know, something only someone like me could do.”

"Wow, okay." Realization dawned on her and she scoffed, shaking her head. “So, you’re a smuggler, then.” Her voice fell flat, her boot nudging a loose rock as her arms crossed her chest.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not." His head slightly tilted, a strange look flickering in his eyes as he watched for her reaction. "Does it matter?”

“No. I mean, I’m as much of a piece of shit as we all are, so it’s all good.” Her ginger brows slowly furrowed, her eyes meeting his. He winked and it took her off guard, her eyes widening as her composure almost slipped before she cleared her throat. “Uh - So, you’re kinda high up there in the ranking, huh?”

A rich, warm laugh rumbled in his chest, her lips pursing as he took another step closer to her. “I won’t argue with that accusation.”

Green eyes met the salarian’s dark ones and he subtlety shook his head. "So," she shot him a dirty look, taking a step towards the man in front of her and glaring up at him – He wasn’t all that much taller, maybe by two or three inches, but she didn't care. “You know anything about why one of the Outcasts’ high-ranking members, Kaetus, was beaten to a pulp last night?”

A minute moment of hesitation, a strange look flickering in his eyes. “I’m afraid I don’t. I do, however, understand that you and this Kaetus fellow appear to have quite a bit of history together.” Another step closer, their bodies mere inches away from each other. “I would advise you to forget about him – Outcasts are... Unsavory people.” He shook his head, a slight sneer on his face almost disguised as a smirk. “They aren't worth it.”

“You would 'advise' me?" Her fingers ghosted air quotes. "Why do _you_ care?” Ginger brows furrowed, anger biting at the edges of her voice as her eyes slowly narrowed. The look in his eyes made her blood boil, her jaw tense. “It’s got _nothing_ to do with you. I didn't ask for your opinion nor do I need it. I just wanted to know if you knew jack shit since I am, you know, considered an Outcast right now and have to look into it.”

The slightest twitch of a lop-sided grin tugged at the corners of his lips, his eyes twinkling with the slightest bit of mischief and pure amusement at her. His eyes searched hers for the briefest moment, his rich voice straight-forward as her hands balled into fists. “I don’t.”

“Okay,” Javek’s voice broke through the tension, a knife slicing through and severing it as his hand darted between them and pushed the two apart. He tilted his shears from one to the other, wagging it. “Before you two get into a fist fight and distract the fuck outta me, I need to get back to work. So, stop.”

Her stomach dropped as she glanced over at the salarian, the irritation dancing across her features enough to make him cringe. She glanced down at her omnitool, her face flushed, as a curse muttered under her breath at the time before she stepped away. “And I need to get back before they realize I’m gone.”

* * *

  
Honeyed eyes watched as she disappeared in a flash of orange and green, her dark, olive jacket swaying as she bolted down the steps. Once she disappeared from his sight he chuckled, shaking his head as he looked back at the salarian. “She’s quite the character, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. Thought she was about to deck you in the face for a moment there and I totally wouldn't put it past her to do that.” Javek’s hands carefully trimmed the slightest edge off of the leaf in his grip, careful not to jostle the small plant. His breath caught, watching it for a moment before glancing up. “I’ve known her for _years_ – Her dad’s a real piece of work, but it didn’t rub off on her. She’s definitely more like her mom.”

Reyes hummed, arms folding across his chest as he took a step closer to the plant that the salarian was immersed with. “Alec, right? I know she’s a Ryder – She has that superiority-complex air about her.” A soft sigh escaped him as his golden eyes traced a path along the tree. “I didn’t really pay any attention to him back then. Everyone built him up to this pompous character that I just couldn't stomach.”

“Me either!” The salarian glanced up at him, brows furrowed and eyes wide, before he threw his arms up in exasperation. Clippers inched dangerously close to his tawny face and he leaned away, a nervous laugh escaping the raven as he took a step back. “He’s always been _so_ rude. I have no idea why everyone loved him so much. Maybe 'cause he wants to take all the credit for bringing everyone here.”

"That credit belongs to Garson - Though, I suppose it doesn't matter, now." Reyes idly shrugged, his steps aimless as he started to wander through the greenhouse. "He threatened to throw me out of the airlock when he caught me going through the wine supply during that pre-Initiative party they threw for everyone.”

“You actually went to it?” Javek’s jaw dropped. “I didn’t.”

“Why not?" His thick, dark brows furrowed as he glanced back at the man. "Free drinks and food is something I would  _never_ turn down.”

The salarian rolled his eyes, turning his attention to another tree beside him. “Because it was just a dressed up way of telling everyone to say goodbye to everything they know and love. I know Ainsley went, though – Her family had to, so she kinda got roped into it.”

“Ah,” the memory flickered across his mind, the ginger dolled up and standing beside her decorated family on stage under the spotlights, and Reyes nodded as realization rushed through him. “That’s probably why I recognize her. There’s no way I’d miss seeing a woman as beautiful as her at a party like that.”

“Why do you sound like you have a little bit of admiration for her?" Javek paused, shears nearly knicking too much of the leaf's edge off, as he looked over at the man. His brows furrowed before one quirked up. "You just met her, Reyes.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘admiration’." A tawny hand idly gestured in the air, his words dancing in circles around the subject. "Respect, however?" He looked over, a lazy smirk on his face as he continued. "A strong woman like her, living on her own and making a name for herself from the dirt up on a place like Kadara? I have a lot of _respect_ for her.”

“Uh, huh. Don’t get your hopes up, big guy – She’s in deep with that Kaetus guy she nearly beat you up over." Javek snorted, staring down at the clippers in his hand before setting them down and heading over to his makeshift table off to the side of the greenhouse. "I have no idea why. I guess she’s always had a thing for turians or whatever.”

Something sparked in his heart and his eyes slowly darkened. He chuckled, readjusting the armor over his stomach to give his hands something to do. “I see.” His tongue darted out to lick his lips, running a hair through his dark coif. A slight tense in his jaw relaxed, a sigh escaping him. “I suppose I should be taking off as well, yes? Too many things to do and not enough time.”

As he walked away, his golden eyes slowly narrowed. They stared ahead at the cave wall, unfocused, his body tense as he started down the steps. His mind raced, the slightest twitch of a smirk on his lips, irritation dancing up his spine the longer he thought about her. This? This isn't something he was used to – Something his heart fancies, something he desires, just out of his reach, unobtainable.

He'll see about that.


	4. alone with you

“Where were you?”

The deep voice behind her made her shoulders tense. Hesitant, brief, but there – She took in a quick breath, lugging up a box from beside the vehicle as she willed herself to remain calm and quirked a brow up at the krogan as she walked by him. “I was gathering supplies, Dartak.” A lop-sided grin tugged at the corners of her lips, her head tilting towards his. “Where were _you_?”

“Don’t get funny with me, Ryder. You weren’t with our group when we arrived at the cache.” Dark eyes narrowed as she plopped the metal box down into the vehicle’s trunk, hands flexing and tensing as she passed by him, again. His shoulders turned to follow hers, fabric brushing, and she paused. “I didn’t see you _at all_ when we got there, and I sure as hell didn’t see you _at all_ comin’ back with us.”

“Just ‘cause I wasn’t with you guys when we came back doesn’t mean that I was slacking off.” Ainsley scoffed, walking past him to grab another box. "I mean, come on -" His hand caught her wrist, rough, and a chill ran up her spine, cold. She swallowed thickly.

“Wasn’t sayin’ that you were slackin’ off.”

Her body froze and she looked back at him, ginger brows furrowed as her eyes narrowed and her jaw slightly fell slack. A terse moment of silence fell between them, challenging and strange in the worst way. Her green eyes flickered up and down his body before her jaw tensed and she took a step forward, squaring her shoulders as she ripped her hand from his grip. “What _are_ you saying, then?”

“You tell me.”

Deep-set eyes met deep green ones and locked. A shiver ran up her spine and she took another step towards him, hands balled into fists at her sides. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but you’re getting some real nerve right now. Sloane asked _me_ , specifically, to make sure I grab these medical caches before we head back. I would suggest remembering who you’re talking to, jackass.”

The longer she stared at him, the angrier he got – Nostrils flared and tough hands balled into furious fists, his shoulders lightly trembling before her eyes narrowed and her voice grew curt. His eyes darkened. “Should I remind you that I was the one who convinced Sloane to hire you on to the Outcasts, Dartak? Or do you want me to tell her that you should be relieved of duty?”

“Fucking hell,” Darktak yanked a box away from a mercenary standing beside him, shooting her a pointed glare as he passed by her and their shoulders brushed, hard, shoving her back a big step. Her nostrils flared and her lips pressed together. “What’s got your panties in a fucking knot today, Ryder?”

“The same reason your krogan balls don’t work anymore, Urdnot.” Her words made his body tense, a low growl rumbling deeply in his chest before he sharply threw the box into the trunk and stormed around to take his seat inside of the vehicle. A big fist punched the vehicle with every step he took, rattling it back and forth.

“Hey, Alissia, we’re ready to move when you are,” Ainsley called out to the asari ahead as she ducked into the vehicle, dropping down into the seat across from the krogan. Mercenaries slowly flooded in after them, taking up the remaining seats as a strange silence fell into the air. A low whirr sounded, rushing through their feet before the vehicle kicked into gear and took off in a rush.

Slight jolts bit at their bodies as they ran over rubble and bumpy terrain, her green eyes downcast as she numbly fiddled with her fingers. Her mouth opened and closed, words not wanting to leave her. Anxiety bubbled in her stomach, a slight tug of confusion chasing after it and she sighed. “I don’t know why you’re accusing me of this all of a sudden, Dartak.”

He didn’t answer.

“Like, I know we aren’t friend- _friends_ , but I figured we were still…" A shoulder idly shrugged, a frustrated scoff escaping her. "I don’t even know. I liked being around you. You kinda feel like a brother to me, honestly.” Silence answered her. She sighed, defeat slackening her shoulders as her head dipped forward. “Listen, I know that we started to –“

“People are questioning your loyalty to the Outcasts.” His deep voice grew soft, quiet, as he leaned forward and shot a cautious glance around the inside of the vehicle. Most of the crew had fallen asleep, curled up in their seats and checked out for the ride. He took in a soft breath, wide eyes meeting hers and her heart skipped a beat, a crushing feeling taking over her.

“What?” The shock in her voice was heavy, heart stopping in her chest. It was suddenly hard to breathe, panic lacing through her spine and sending a nauseous bout rolling through her like a wave. “How? Why?”

“Some have seen you sneaking around at night, going to places in the Badlands you didn’t have permission to go to." His eyes searched hers and tears pricked at the corners of wide, scared, green ones as a sense of urgency grabbed ahold of his voice. "Few said they'd seen you disappear into the caves in Draullir for hours at a time before coming out. Things aren’t looking good for you right now, Ryder.”

“I was snooping around in the Badlands to see if I could find any dirt on the Collective about Kaetus’ being ambushed!” Hands grasped fistfuls of her ginger hair, sheer terror grabbing ahold of her and keeping her held tight in its iron grip. A trembling breath left her as her hand pressed against her mouth, swallowing down the bite of bile rushing at the back of her throat. “How is that _betrayal_?”

“I don’t know!" Dartak leaned forward, grabbing her wrists and pulling them away from her face. "Listen, all I know is that there’s enough for a trial against you and some wanna push for it. People started telling me to give you the cold-shoulder, to get you outta my life before I get too attached and somethin’ happens to you.”

She could not breathe, tears overwhelming her and her chest heaving as her face contorted in grief, breaking. “This isn’t real.”

“It is.”

* * *

  
The trip back to Kadara Port felt much like a prisoner marching right to their death sentence, the air heavy. Panic inched up her spine with each mere thought of Sloane’s face flickering through her mind, tendrils gripping her body and keeping her frozen there. Her throat felt full and her stomach could not stop flipping, turning, fluttering. Everything felt wrong, off, horrible, _this can’t be happening to me, this isn’t real, this is a dream_ – She was _terrified_.

Her body had not been able to stop shaking since Dartak had told her about some suspicions growing within the Outcasts about her. She thought she had been careful – No trails left behind, no possible way for anything to be tracked back to her. Moving at night gave her more cover, more guards likely to be asleep or not paying attention because, honestly, they do not seem to care, even in the least bit, at night.

But, yet, it had been tracked back to her, pointed to her. Or, so it seems.

There has to be a leaker, an insider moving around. Aside from her, that is. Thoughts raced through her mind as she made her way through the docking bay of the Port, her head bowed and an eerie, fleeting moment of fear paralyzing her as her body inched closer, one heavy step right after the other, to the Headquarters. Her voice didn’t want to work as her fingers moved, her omnitool slightly flickering on before static hummed through her ears and muted her surroundings. A croak. “Javek.”

No answer.

Green eyes met the glowing sign hung atop the building ahead and her heart stopped mid-beat, mind racing with every possible thought of what was to happen to her the moment she walks through the doorway. She tried to connect, again, desperate. “Javek, _please_ \- Tell me you’re there right now. Just, something. Anything?” Silence was her answer, her breathing heavy as she quickly switched channels and a buzz ran through her forearm, numb. “Kaetus, are you there? I –“

It flickered on and off, static filling the air and burning her lungs as her comms sharply died down, disconnected, and a harsh realization crushed her. Her breath hitched, air leaving her.

Sloane is going to kill her.

She is going to die.

Fear seized her chest and she gasped, sharply turning away from the Headquarters and beelining it back to the tram by the docking bay. Wide, green eyes hyper-focused ahead as her feet moved without thought, guiding her body along a strangely familiar path before quickly stepping onto the lift. Surroundings grew hazy and blurry as hydraulics hissed around her and it moved, her breathing fast and quick as the tram whirred to a stop.

Her brain barely registered even the tiniest of things as she moved through one door after the other, passing by people as the faint pulsing of music flooded her senses and sharply brought her back down to reality. Doors hissed open in front of her and she froze. The sight of the tawny man lounging on the couch ahead filled her senses and overwhelmed her, green eyes wide in disbelief at where she was.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” A cocky grin dancing across his warm, sharp features sent a shiver rushing down her spine. She stood lamely in the doorway to his room in Tartarus, the pounding music through the walls matching her uneven heartbeat and dancing through her feet as her grip tightened on the door's frame.

“Shut up.” Ainsley let out a shaky sigh as the rhythm traveled through her arm. It fell numb, pins and needles tickling her. "I - I…” Her eyes squeezed shut and she scoffed, stepping inside and allowing the doors to finally close behind her. The hiss of the hydraulics behind her made her feel sick. “Listen, I don’t trust you, but I don’t really have anyone to talk to right now. Javek isn’t answering me anymore despite how many times I call and Kaetus is…” Her voice cracked and fell, her heart breaking as her eyes lowered.

“And I’d really prefer to talk to an actual, living person rather than my bedroom wall again. There’s only so much help you can get from an inanimate object, y’know?” Her words sent a strange pang of guilt racing through his chest. His heart squeezed, honeyed eyes focused on her as she slowly approached him, hesitation biting at her as her hands lamely gestured. “And I know we kind of started off on the wrong foot, but –”

“On the wrong foot?” Reyes airily chuckled as he watched her promptly stuff her hands into her jacket’s pockets and a strange look flickered in her bright eyes, fear chasing and overwhelming the fleeting look. He snorted. “That’s news to me - And here I thought we were getting along just swimmingly, Ainsley.”

“Please just listen to me, Reyes. I - I’m sorry, okay?” She plopped down on the couch beside him, ankles crossing and her body ever-so-slightly tensing before relaxing. “I guess - I’m scared. I’m scared because recently everyone in the Outcasts seems to be giving me this weird cold shoulder and I’m… I’m terrified. I’ve heard rumblings about them being suspicious of me and I’m petrified that I’m going to get a bullet through my back when I least expect it.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that will happen.” The way he said it, so effortlessly and nonchalantly, made her feel funny, off - Something strange hinted in the undertone of his voice. His hand reached for the cup sitting on the table in front of them, a thick brow quirking up at her as he tilted it in a silent question towards her. She shook her head and he brought it up to his lips.

Their gazes met as he took a sip and a ginger brow quirked up. “And how do you know that?”

“Ah,” a lazy grin curled the corner of his lips as he swallowed down the alcohol, a tawny hand darting up to run through jet-black hair as he sat the cup back down. He wistfully sighed. “I’m a betting man, if you haven’t been able to tell yet, and I have a good feeling about it.”

Green eyes stared at him for a moment, the strangest feeling of hope slowly inching up her spine and taking away the fear, before she subtly shook her head and swallowed it back down. No use in getting her hopes up for any kind of protection, unless –  Eyes widened, her breath catching as an idea hit her. “So, if you’re a smuggler…” Words did not want to leave her. “Do you offer people protection?”

“I happen to offer _many_ things in my line of work.” Reyes’ body relaxed as he leaned back, an arm snaking around the couch’s backrest and resting around her small shoulders. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and his thick brow slightly twitched with the tiniest hint of annoyance. “That _is_ one of the many things that I am able to provide, given a good enough price.”

Her heart fell, shoulders relaxing in defeat. There’s no way she could afford _that_. “I see.”

“I _might,_ however, be willing to give a discount for a woman as beautiful as you.”

The steady beat of her heart faltered, fell. “I don’t need pity, Reyes.”

“No, but you do need protection.”

“Reyes…” Her eyes softened as she caught his whiskey gaze and she slowly shook her head. “It’s fine – I don’t need it. I was just getting my hopes up, I guess. And especially not if you’re going to discount it out of pity for me.” A soft breath left her, her fingers toying with the hem of her olive jacket and her eyes downcast. “The last thing I need, or want, is pity.”

“Letting people care about you isn’t pity, you know.”

A gentle undertone pulled at his voice, wonder hinting at the edges, and made her feel weird. It was the way he had said it, as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire world, that felt… Strange, if anything, to her. She slowly looked over at him, an unreadable emotion flickering in her eyes as she took in his features, soft and sweet in the gentlest way, before her heart ached and she sharply stood. “I’m gonna go.”

“Ainsley, wait –“

“Thanks for the talk, Reyes.” Her feet could not move fast enough, the shuffling of his body behind her making her head spin as she nearly ran for the door. “I’ll –“ A slight tense, a slight pause in his doorway made her want to scream, her body feeling numb and overwhelmed. She chanced a glance back, catching him as he stood, his dark brows furrowed and worry in his eyes, and she shook her head as she swallowed back a rush of feelings. “I’ll message you if I need anything else.”

* * *

  
It felt lame watching her leave, a flash of ginger hair whipping and tears rushing down her freckled cheeks, a quiet sob breaking the silence before music overtook it. The hand outstretched to the ghost of where she had stood fell, his body turning away from the closing doors as the music fell and his thick brows sharply furrowed. Fingers flicked his omnitool on as he sank back down onto his couch, an ankle crossing over his knee as he relaxed back with a soft, drawn out sigh and the warm, orange hue shadowed over him.

A familiar face popped up onto his screen, the salarian's dark eyes narrowed as a slight tree branch popped into view and slightly obscured his orange, white-freckled face. “Javek.” He lazily smiled as the man pushed the branch away to reveal reptilian eyes, a tawny arm stretching out above his head before his hand carded through his dark hair. “Care to explain what’s going on within the Outcasts right now? Seems as though there's quite a bit of drama going on.”

 _“What are you talking about?"_  Javek's brows slowly furrowed as he caught his whiskey gaze, his head slowly tilting before he shook it and pressed his lips together. His fingers worked on the branch in front of him, his voice stuttering as his focus faltered. _"I haven’t heard that anything’s wrong.”_

“Ryder just came in here,” he let out a soft sigh, leaning forward onto his elbows as his hand idly gestured, “talking about being scared, needing protection, and that her position within the Outcasts appears to be in danger.” His expression grew serious, his voice curt. “She sounded terrified when she was talking to me, Javek. Especially when she said that _you_ were ignoring her calls - You are one of her only friends in the Collective, no?”

 _“What? She - She called me?”_ A breathless gasp left the salarian, eyes widening and his mouth falling open. Reyes did not like that – Not at all. _“Are you being serious right now?"_  He fervently shook his head, a sharp breath leaving him. _"I haven’t gotten any calls from her. At all. Not any in the last week and not any today. If she's been calling me, I haven't been getting them.”_

Panic struck his heart for the briefest moment, dark brows furrowing in thought. “Interesting.” A quick breath left him as he leaned back, an arm crossing over his stomach and his fingers tapping an idle rhythm against his side. “Considering that she said she had called you quite a few times today, with no answer.” He cleared his throat, a hand running down his face and pausing at his slightly stubbly jaw for a moment. "She also said that Kaetus was ignoring her."

 _“Reyes,”_ fear gripped his voice and a cold chill ran down the man’s spine, _“I'm literally telling you right now, that I haven’t gotten any calls from her today. And we're friends, like you said - I wouldn't just **ignore** her. And I mean, I - I tried calling her earlier, but she didn't answer. Honestly, I just figured she'd been busy. I have no idea what's going on right now and what you're saying is scaring me.”_

The man shot up without a word, running an irritated hand through the slight curls of his black hair as he reached for his jacket and quickly threw it on. “Well, luck would have it that she only just left,” he glanced around his room before his eyes landed on a metal table not too far and he sighed, approaching it to grasp his gun from it and holstering the firearm on his thigh. “I’ll follow her, see what’s going on.”

_“I’ll get moving, too. See if I can find out if anything’s been happening that I haven’t been let in on.”_

* * *

  
Trembling hands caught the needle before it could fall, green eyes tired from how many tears its shed and a harsh ache settling deep in her bones the longer she sat there under the dwindling sunlight. It was hard to think, hard to breathe, hard to process anything and everything felt like too much – She was ready to die. She wanted to die. Death felt long overdue, something she had been running from for too long, narrowly escaping just that moments after waking up from her cryo-pod on the Nexus.

It felt useless to fight against it anymore.

Fear inched its way up her spine as the thought of Sloane crossed her mind, her legs idly swinging from their spot through the metal railing of her balcony as she repositioned the needle. Her eyes caught the sharp drop down to the Badlands below and her stomach flipped. A harsh hiss escaped her as the needle quickly pierced her forearm and her eyes squeezed shut, a sob bubbling in her chest before a rush of relief ran through her body and she relaxed.

Oblivion always helped. 

It was not the answer, but it helped. That is good enough for her. A temporary, quick fix, something that she has control over; The easiest way to handle, mute, quiet her _fucking_ swinging emotions, the _stupid_ voices in her head, and the vast feeling of shallow loneliness threatening to swallow her, drown her, forever -

A shuffle echoed through the open doors behind her and her body tensed. Eyes snapped wide open as the needle fell from her hands and clattered to the metal flooring, the bright surroundings blurring and hazing together before they melted and oozed around her in running colors, her mind swimming. She stood up, stumbling and bumping against each metal rod as she gripped onto them for dear life.

“Who’s – Who’s there?” Her words slightly slurred as she called out, her own voice sounding strange and foreign to her.

No answer came, the shuffle quieting down.

Panic gripped her heart, fumbling hands reaching for the gun strapped to her thigh as quick footsteps sounded in return and an uncontrollable beat hammered in her chest. It nearly overwhelmed her, the steady thrum dancing through her ears and making her feel lightheaded. Her legs fell numb, stumbling over a step as she peered into the open doors and caught the sight of an armored turian skulking around.

“Oh, my God -" The grip on her gun tightened tenfold, harsh tears pricking the corner of her wide, pupil-blown eyes as she backed up and pressed herself against the wall. She could not breathe. Both hands gripped the gun as she took in a deep breath, pressing the barrel under her jaw as she accepted her fate and her head tilted back, fingers pressing –

“Don’t move!” A low twang of a voice, vaguely familiar in a sickening way that she could not put her finger on, sent a hard wave of shock coursing through her hazy mind. Her eyes shot wide open as her gun snapped ahead to point at the figure, her breathing harsh and uneven as panicked eyes met his and their gazes locked. Silence fell between them, challenging, and she could not think, breathe, pins and needles gripping her legs. 

She felt numb.

Terror pierced her and she recklessly unloaded her bullets at the armored man, ducking past and darting forward to run through the opened doors. Furniture clattered to the side, decor falling and scattering as she pushed them away and raced through the living room. She needed a way out, somewhere, something, anything, _please_  – Heavy, quick footsteps stumbled and rushed behind her, shaking hands struggling to keep ahold of her gun. Her head sharply looked from one side to the other in her hallway, muted indecision making her hesitate.

A gun cocked behind her head. “I said, don’t move.” It pushed against the back of her head, her body stumbling forward a step, and pressed her body up against the wall. His hand grasped the wrist of the hand holding her gun and twisted it, watching the firearm clatter to the ground before he pinned her wrist against her back.

“What – What do you want?” Her voice trembled.

“Doesn’t matter what I want – It’s what _they_ want.” With a loud, quick crack, the butt of his gun whacked the back of her head and her vision swarmed with splotches of darkness. It slowly ate away at her senses before her body went limp, numb, and collapsed to the floor as their voice flickered at the edges of her consciousness, fleeting and soft.

Her voice cracked, falling and breaking as she slowly succumbed. "Who?"

"The Charlatan."


	5. made of stone

Dread pooled in his stomach as his steps faltered and his whiskey eyes took in her apartment's front door – Agape, parted and opened, to allow things, people, to come and go through her house as they please. Worry laced down his spine as his dark, thick brows furrowed and he cautiously approached the doorway, a slow breath leaving him. “Ainsley?” He called out to the empty living room, the flashlight on his omnitool kicking on.

The light gradually kicked on and shone through the dimly-lit area, sparks flying from broken electronics on the wall and exposing the state of disarray her apartment was in – Furniture was scattered, thrown over and tossed apart. Trash littered the tiled floor, papers bunched up and thrown about. His flashlight slowly trailed across the walls, narrowed eyes taking in the bright splotches and streaks of paint splattered across the white of her walls. They alternated between intricate sketches and chaotic, abstract bunches of colors.

It would have fascinated him, the colorful array of her house, except - His heart skipped a beat, his mind flashing back to her voice, sad and broken, as she mentions talking to her wall. "Fuck."

Slow, careful footsteps echoed through the deserted living room as he made his way across the messed-up apartment, only for his body to freeze as honeyed eyes caught the sight of stained blood splattered across the hallway wall. It formed a small, dried-up puddle at the base, dots and smears following along to the balcony which led to nowhere. It looked as if she had been dragged, pieces of ginger hair knotted and left behind.

His fingers could not move fast enough, his comms briskly chirping on as the orange from his omnitool cast a warm hue across the wall. “Javek, she’s not here. There’s blood everywhere.” A slight tremble ate at his words and he cleared his throat. “Her apartment’s trashed – Worse than my own, honestly. And I highly doubt she’d be one to live like –“

_“She wouldn’t.”_ The salarian interrupted him, a shaky breath leaving him. _“She’s a neat freak.”_

His heart dropped. “Shit.”

_“I know.”_

An irritated hand ruffled through his black hair, nails digging into skin as they raked down the back of his head. “I have no idea where to even start.” The rug bunched and pilled against the soles of his boots as he made his way around the clutter and down the hallway, his heart feeling heavy as his eyes searched the empty rooms. He caught the sight of a closed set of doors off to the back, her name elegantly painted over the tiled metal with intricate, lace-like designs framing it.

His dark brows furrowed.

With the slightest flick of his wrist and the tense ease of his fingers, the door parted to reveal the inside of her room. Stringed lights hung across her ceiling, flickering on and off, casting an array of colors dancing across the pale blue of her walls. A messily-made bed sat nestled off to the side, a black blanket crumpled up in the middle, and an oak-wood desk sat right beside it – Sketch book after sketch book sat stacked upon the entirety of the glass-top, each with what appeared to be a hand-drawn cover. He made his way over, carefully plucking one of the books from the pile as he sat down on the desk’s chair.

Reyes flipped it open as he leaned back, his breath hitching as his honeyed eyes took in each drawing; Beautifully made, carefully drawn, and lovingly painted galaxies and sceneries covered the majority of the white pages. Small sketch followed by another small sketch danced on the margins, some silly and some serious while some were viciously scribbled out with a frown beside it, until his fingers hesitated as he flipped to the final page.

His face appeared.

Each thick and light stroke was carefully made, the slightest tremble in her hand barely visible over his mostly-shadowed face as his figure leaned over a familiar metal railing. A date scribbled below it went back to the day he had first seen her with Kaetus in Tartarus, the briefest flicker of her bloodshot eyes and her lips parted as she stared up at him crossing his mind and making his heart skip.

Words elegantly drawn in a style none other than her own below it caught his attention, his heart skipping a beat as he read them.

_“I don’t know who this is, but I saw him back when Kaetus and I were meeting up with Ferrous. Or, when we were supposed to meet up with them, I guess. I really have no clue who this guy even is, but the look he gave me made me feel… Weak doesn’t seem like the right word to use."_  He swallowed thickly. _"I don’t know – His eyes twinkled with something, a thing I can't put my finger on, but I don’t know what. It simultaneously freaked me out and made me feel funny in a good way.”_

The last bit of the paragraph was scribbled out, drawn over by a different colored ink that was scribbled out just as vicariously. His eyes squinted as he brought the book closer, straining to read the etched-out, vividly-colored sentence.

_“At least his face is nice to draw.”_

“My face is nice to draw?” The words caught him off guard - He snorted, glancing around the messy room as he carefully ripped the page out of the book, neatly folding it and tucking it into his pocket. His body sat up, legs stretching out before he stood and stared down at the carpet beneath his boots. A grin danced across his face and he shook his head. “I won’t let her live that down when I get her back.”

His heart dropped at the thought – _If_ he finds her, that is; No, not if, _when_ he finds her - Heart and mind fought against each other, his stomach doing flips and making him feel nauseous. A shaky breath left him as he closed the book and carefully sat it back down on the pile, his dark brows furrowing as he started to make his way out of the dimly-lit, colorful room.

Why did he care so much?

He is not so sure if he likes the probable answer to that question.

“God - Fucking hell.”

Thoughts raced through his mind as he left her apartment and his hands raked through his hair, his chest crushing with each brief flicker of her freckled face as he took one step after the other down the staircase below her front doors. It is not as though they have spent enough time together for _that_ – Sure, they might have spent a little bit of time talking here and there, sending messages back and forth, maybe even a bit of joking around, but not enough for him to start to feel this way –

A realization hit him.

Except for the fact that he has watched her every move, followed her every trail, ever since she stepped one single foot on Kadara. He made sure that she was safe, taken care of with hardly any worry, up until this point. He paid off her bills, sent anonymous donations to the Outcasts to make sure she would not have to worry about anything, everything - Her apartment bills never came in her mail, because he would take them before she could see them.

A shaky sigh left him as whiskey eyes searched the cloudy skies of Kadara. He could barely even fathom the thought of her being _gone_ –

His stomach flipped and dropped. Dark hair fell into his eyes as he fervently shook his head, willing away the mere thought as he swallowed thickly and sighed. “Javek,” a slight crack in his voice made him clear his throat, his boot knocking against a loose rock and sending it rolling as his eyes searched the tops of the tiled buildings ahead. “You heard anything yet?”

_“No, not yet. Asked around the base in Draullir to see if anyone heard anything about her being taken, but so far, I’ve found nothing. I was planning on stopping down at Tartarus to check in with a few of our contacts there, if you wanna join up with me down there.”_

“Sounds good to me.”

* * *

_  
Bang, bang, bang; Metal against metal, clattering and loud. Panic, swirling like a black mass in her chest, overwhelming her and eating her alive as it swallowed her piece by piece, a cold etching its way down her spine and intermingling with her nervous system –_

Her body shot up with a harsh gasp, wretched and pulling on her lungs. Shaky hands reached for purchase on something, anything, only for them to be pulled back down to the cold floor by magnetic-lock handcuffs clamped around her wrists. Ginger brows slowly, lazily furrowed as her back slammed against the concrete flooring, a trembling breath leaving her as her eyes painfully adjusted to the dim-lighting and slowly took in her surroundings.

From what she could make out through the blobbed-up figures melting and dripping into each other in an incoherent mess, the room seemed to be... Empty, really. Metal bars linked with stainless steel caged her in the small room, the slightest hint of rusted-over blood dotting the edges of the silver and standing out in a harsh contrast under the stark, pale lighting. Her breath caught in her chest as her eyes trailed over the cave-like walls and down to the black floor, her stomach anxiously flipping as panic grabbed ahold of her chest and she swallowed down a bubble threatening to burst in her throat.

Metal bars linked with stainless steel caged her in the small room, the slightest hint of rusted-over blood dotting the edges of the silver and standing out in a harsh contrast under the stark, pale lighting. Her breath caught in her chest as her eyes trailed over the cave-like walls and down to the black floor, her stomach anxiously flipping as panic grabbed ahold of her chest and she swallowed down a bubble threatening to burst in her throat.

Where is she?

“So, you’re finally awake.” She pushed up, her figure blurring and moving like a haze towards her. Her voice was muted, soft, distorted. “Figured you were going to end up dying, considering the amount of Oblivion we detected in your system.” Her shoulders idly shrugged, the click of her heels echoing through the room and making her feel off as they bounced. “The amount you injected was enough to kill you, so all things considered, you’re lucky we found you. You really shouldn’t try to self-medicate – Leave it to the professionals.”

Ainsley’s words did not want to work, her throat aching. Her green eyes narrowed as she stared up at the woman, her figure dancing around in her vision. Everything spun around her like a wave, blurred at the edges and softly muted into colorful splotches. The oblivion - She had almost forgotten. Oblivion, though the edge is slightly faded, is still mingling in her system, her throat feeling full and a pull behind her eyes making her wince.

“Who,” her voice cracked and faded down as she sighed, eyes squeezing shut. It came back, but slowly wobbled. “Who are - What do you want?”

“It’s not what _I_ want – It’s what _she_ wants.”

Her words sent a shiver down her already-shaky spine, the familiar face of Sloane's dark features dancing across her mind and making her feel nauseous. The thought made her stomach flip, twist, her throat squeezing shut - A tremble in her lips as they fell open to take in a soft breath made her want to cry. “She?”

“Oh, you know who.” Red hair fell to the edges of her square, pale-white jaw, slightly swaying as she glanced from one side of the room to the other. Her heart stopped as she inched closer, her posture condescending and confident as one heel clicked after the other. Each step made her head hurt. “I mean, it’s only obvious that it’s the Charlatan.”

Relief rushed through her body like a wave, her shoulders relaxing down against the cold concrete before her tired mind finally processed the words and ginger brows slowly furrowed. Wait, what? The Charlatan? Her eyes searched the ceiling, her mouth slightly falling open as she wracked her brain for the answer - “What?" She almost slurred. "Why did the Charlatan - Wait, what? What do they want from me?”

The woman scoffed, the sound felt as though it were far away, dancing at the edges of her hearing. “As if I’m going to just _tell_ you. She wanted me to stay, watch to make sure you actually woke up so we wouldn’t have a body to dump later." Footsteps clicked, one after the other as they started to fade away, and she almost missed her voice. "See ya around, pretty.”

“Wait!” Her throat hurt, not ready for the sudden strain of her voice rising. The door slammed shut and bit through her protest, her body slumping back against the floor in utter defeat. Tears pricked at the corners of her bloodshot eyes, the crushing feeling of anxiety, fear, hopelessness intermingling and sitting on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe -

A gross, painful sob popped in the back of her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut. It felt hopeless. Hopeless, useless, no purpose to anything, anymore. Nothing matters - She is, _was_ going to die anyway, if not by these people's hands then by Sloane's own hands. The mere thought of even trying to escape felt futile, stupid, dumb; She could not move, her body attached to the ground by magnetic-locks. Overwhelmed - She felt overwhelmed, her teeth grinding as she bit down a sob and -

_“Ainsley.”_

She jumped, eyes that were squeezed shut popping wide open as tears rushed down her cheeks. A sob stuttered through her words, a harsh gasp following it as her chest heaved when she tried to breathe as she frantically glanced around the room, her vision swimming as she looked for someone, something, _anything_ \- The idea of her hearing voices made dread pool in her feet and her heart squeeze. “What?!”

_“You are not hearing things, Ainsley. It is I, Sam - The AI whose implant you received before being put into cryo.”_

His words made her feel sober.

“I - I thought," her lips trembled as she pressed them together, trying to compose herself. Green eyes squeezed shut as she took in a soft breath, her stomach tensing as her chest slightly heaved. "I... I thought that my connection to you was severed when I was exiled from the Nexus?”

_“You were not exiled."_  The way he said it, so casually and obviously, made the slightest bit of hope flicker in the back of her heart. She shook her head in disbelief. _"And your connection was not severed from my link, Ainsley. You are Alec Ryder’s kid – Anyone who would dare to do that to his own child would have dire consequences. He does not believe that you deserved that fate.”_

“He doesn’t believe I - That I - What?" It was suddenly hard to breathe. He was... He does not - It seemed like he is... Alive. A slow rush of air left her. The way Sam was speaking of him sounded as if he was alive, living, breathing, out of cryo and moving around without her knowing and that was enough to drive her _fucking insane_. Her eyes squeezed shut as she stammered, the slightest shake of her head making her hair tumble over her cheek. "He – I... Is, is he –“

A moment passed, minute and minuscule, but enough of one that could have been considered a slight hesitation on the AI's part. Her heart skipped, stopped.  _“_ _Yes,"_ Sam answered after the briefest second, a whimper hitting the back of her throat as her lips pressed together. _"Your father is awake, as is your twin brother, Lukas. They were taken out of cryogenic stasis a week ago.”_

"Oh, my God -" Tears cracked her voice, breathless. "Are they okay?"

_"Yes, Ainsley."_  Her heart squeezed in her chest. She wanted to cry - She was going to cry. _"They are alive."_

“Oh, my God –“

_“However, I cannot detect where you are right now."_  Teary, green eyes searched the ceiling as he spoke, slowly narrowing. _"By my estimated readings, following the trail after your connection was reimplemented with my systems, you appear to be heavily underground and presumably deep within a cave system. The walls are interrupting my scanners and I am unable to determine an exact location.”_

“On Kadara?" The slightest tremble in her voice made her clear her sore throat. "Like, in the Draullir base?”

_“I am not sure.”_ A curse scoffed under her breath, her body relaxing against the cool floor as she bit her bottom lip in thought. The slightest tense in her hands made the locks tighten and fear gripped her heart, making her freeze. She took in a quick breath, steadying herself in an attempt to keep calm.

“Can you be sure that I'm not on Kadara?” Her voice fell quiet, low, her eyes wide as she stared up at the stone ceiling. Memories played out as she continued, her voice cracking as she remembered how terrified she was, how close she was to breaking. “I don’t remember anything – After I got whacked in the head, all I remember is some turian grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder.”

_“Yes, I am able to see that. Give me a moment while I do a diagnostic of your system."_  A beat passed once, twice, before a soft ping chimed in the back of her head and she cringed. _"I detect a heavy dose of Oblivion in your systems, and your heart rate is twice the normal rate. I can also detect a drug in your system, counteracting the effects of the Oblivion, but I am unable to determinate what exactly it is. It is not in our systems."_

A shaky breath left her. "Are you for real? They drugged me up?" Words came out slightly slurred, a tug behind her eyes making her want to throw up. "I mean, I - I know about the Oblivion, only because I did that, but... Shit."

_"There is also a trace amount of DNA on your hands - Presumably from the turian that had captured you."_  Her breath hitched, a skip in her heart as a beat passed. Another ping, this one closer to her eyes, and they squeezed shut. _"From what I can gather on it, the genetic signature in my database points to a merchant by the name of Macrius Vaekrin.”_

“It’s – It’s Macrius?" The hurt she felt was unreal, impossible, in the worst way - Her heart dropped, anger coursing through her veins as her jaw tensed and she was breathless. Tears pricked the corners of her green eyes, her breathing harsh and heavy as her mind raced and her chest heaved. She was... Baffled. The amount of trust she had put in him, the fact that he _let_ her feel like he was her _friend,_ someone she could rely on and to trust and talk to -

She felt sick to her stomach, bile biting the back of her throat. "You're not serious, are you? Please tell me you're not serious.”

_“Yes, I am.”_

“Holy fucking _shit_ ," balled-up fists slammed against the floor, the magnetic-locks tightening and squeezing her wrists in the most painful way, making her gasp. Her eyes widened as a realization washed over her and she repeated it again, the locks painfully tightening in response. A bubble burst in her throat as she did it again and again and again -

Each time they tightened, breaking the skin and drawing blood until her glazed-over eyes squeezed shut as she snapped back into reality and she broke. "I - I thought," her voice sharply fell, tears taking over and cracking in her voice as she desperately tried to talk. It hurt - Everything hurt. "I thought -"

_“Please do not harm yourself."_  Cold rushed down her spine, making her feel numb. She - She hurt herself. _"There could be many factors in which might have made him do such a thing, Ainsley. There is no need to harm yourself - There is a possibility that he did not do it in a malicious manner. People on Kadara have to rely on unsavory manners to keep themselves safe; A possibility is the fact that he was being threatened and giving up your location might have kept him alive.”_

“I’m…” A shaky breath left her as she shook her head, loosening the thought and freeing it from her mind. Her quivering lips pressed together, her chest crushed and her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she tried to speak, only for her voice to crack. “I’m glad you’re here, Sam. I’ve been so fucking lonely, like… I was -" A bitter chuckle broke her words. "I was talking to my fucking bedroom wall at one point like the stupid-ass bitch I am.”

_“I would have made myself known to you sooner, but I wanted to wait until your father’s connection was stabilized and I would be able to bring you good news.”_ The slightest bit of hesitation in his words could have almost been mistaken for sympathy, the tone softly tugging at and softening the edges of his monotonous voice.  _"You deserved as much, given all that you have been through."_

"I..." Her heart ached. "Thank you, Sam."

* * *

  
The pulsing music of Tartarus danced through his legs, matching his heartbeat and making him feel a good kind of numb, familiar, as they made their way up the staircase off to the side of the room, passing by the array of scantily-clad dancers in metal cages. Javek's trail led them to a table shrouded in shadows on the top level of the club, the tawny man's eyes lingering on his favorite room as they passed by it. The memory of her here, his body leaning over the railing, flickered across his mind and he swallowed thickly.

Darkness clouded the figure’s features as beady eyes slowly opened and peered out from black, the icy blue color of his irises a striking, harsh contrast against the neon-red wall behind him. Lights danced and changed colors around his body, the harsh bass of the music jarring as each step led them closer before they paused just short of the shadows. “What do you want?”

“Cut the creepy-ass shit, Jelah.” Javek rolled his eyes at the ironically-deep voice and pulled out a seat, plopping down in it with a sigh as the tawny man idly made his way over to the black, metal railing beside the table. “We’re brothers – You don’t have to put on those weird-ass airs around me, you know." His voice was almost drowned out by the music. "Not like I'm the Charlatan or anything.”

Reyes' heart almost skipped, a smirk flickering at the corners of his lips. He rolled his eyes.

The other salarian snorted, leaning forward to reveal the smooth expanse of his dark-green, orange-freckled skin. Reyes' eyes followed the trail of the freckles, dots curling around his pointed ears and down the back of his head as his deep voice switched to a nasally voice, almost catching him off-guard by the quick change. “I know, I just like pulling your finger, Jay.”

“As always," he rolled his eyes, brushing under his nose as he caught his brother's gaze. "Know you been busy with work, so I won't keep you too long. You're my insider for Collective gossip, so... Hear any rumblings about Ainsley lately? She wasn't in her house this morning and she hasn't messaged me since last week, so..." His eyes softened, his lips slightly parting. "I'm kinda worried.”

"Oh, Ainsley?" A scoff escaped Jelah before he could help it, his fingers toying with a loose tile on the table. "You mean your girlfriend?"

"My what?" His words made Reyes' heart skip as the salarian's eyes widened. Irritation grasped ahold of his body, his shoulders minutely tensing as he swallowed thickly as a strange feeling itched its way under his skin. He did not like it. Whiskey eyes slightly, slowly narrowed as his lip curled in the slightest snarl and his gaze trailed over to the orange salarian, his face flushing a deep red as he fervently shook his head and held out his hands. "Not my girlfriend! We're just friends, dude!"

“Of course, of course. Just like me and Hara, right? Totally didn't get hitched on Omega a week before we left for the Initiative." His eyes softened for the briefest moment, fleeting, before they fell downcast. A shaky sigh left him as Javek rubbed at his flushed face, sparing a glance over at the tawny man. "Hara is his partner - Still in cryo, Nexus wouldn't take him out."

"Yeah," Jelah sighed, brushing a hand across his cheek. "Anyways, who am I to doubt that you don't have feelings for her, right? Not like you haven't asked her out on a date before and she's rejected you.” Amusement twinkled in his icy blue eyes as he watched his brother flubber in front of him, his words stuttering and stammering over each other in an incoherent mess before he held out his green hand. This evoked a feeling in Reyes that he could not put his finger on, and he did not like it. "Yeah, okay. I have - They're not good rumblings, either." 

Reyes’ heart dropped.

“Something about there being an insider within the Collective that’s been ratting her out to Sloane." Jelah's brows slowly furrowed. "Actually, I’m not too sure about the details, but I guess either someone caught her sneaking around in the Draullir base and thought it was fishy," his fingers tapped on the top of the table as he tried to piece thoughts together, "or there's an insider in our group that's feeding information to the Outcasts. The entire thing is... Confusing, honestly, but it's there and we're going to have to deal with it.”

“Shit,” anger bubbled deep within Reyes’ chest, his dark, thick brows sharply furrowing as an arm crossed over his chest and his thumb came up to his lips. It pressed against them in thought, his back leaning against the cool metal as he let out a sigh and his hand idly gestured as he tried to keep his usual calm poise. “Any idea who it might be?”

“In my opinion?" His icy blue eyes met whiskey ones, his eyes narrowing. "Could’ve been Dorado – She’s been really shifty lately, going off on missions I don’t recall her being sent off on.” His gaze shifted between the two before he leaned forward towards his brother and his voice fell low, hard to hear over the booming bass of the music. “I think she’s posing as the Charlatan.”

_That_ pissed Reyes right off, blood boiling in his veins as his nostrils briefly flared. His brows sharply furrowed as his eyes narrowed, a near-snarl curling the corner of his lips as he took a step towards the table. “What?”

Javek held his hand out as the tawny man slammed his hands down on the table, sending a jolt through the salarians' upper bodies and skidding the metal back with a loud screech. Orange hands pressed against his chest as he shook his head, catching his heated gaze and his eyes narrowing in a pointed glare. “Relax, Reyes.”

“This Dorado –" He took in a shaky breath, running an irritated hand through his black hair. "Is she currently at the base?”

“No, she left yesterday in the middle of the night. Uh, also left a note saying how she had to work on some sulfuric purifiers down at an angaran colony out in the Badlands, but she didn't leave the location." Jelah added quickly when the tawny man bristled, his hands quickly tapping his omnitool to life. "Managed to track her down, though - I can send the coordinates to your omnitool, if you want me to.”

“Do it." Reyes nodded towards Javek as he quickly stood, his lips pressing together as his wrist flicked up and his omnitool turned on in a flash of color. Orange danced across his features, a sharp breath leaving him as he glanced up at the green salarian from under his dark eyelashes and a brow quirked up. "That’s where we’re going. Now. I'll contact Keema and see if she can get some of her people to join in on our search.”

* * *

  
“So,” Ainsley was not expecting her hoarse voice to echo as loudly as it had. Her eyes squeezed shut, hands tensing against the handcuffs as she swallowed thickly. "Any idea where I am yet?"

_“I am afraid not. There is something dampening my sensors and jamming my tracking signal on your implant. It is entirely possible that you are still on Kadara, however – I do not believe they had managed to take you far before you started to wake up, and I do not believe that they would have risked compromising their location in favor of taking you off-planet.”_

Her eyes softened as she stared up at the ceiling as he spoke, a strange feeling washing over her. Something clicked deep within her, a slight tug on her heart making a cold realization wash over her - Not a single person was going to come for her.

That thought sobered her more than she wished to admit.

Nobody was going to save her - Nobody knew that she was gone, missing. Nobody cared about her. Not a single soul gives even the tiniest shit about her, a low-life, a nobody living in the slums of Kadara and making a living off of hurting people. Shit, even her own 'friends' have told her how annoying, how needy, how naive and stupid and horrible and terrible she is; The more she thought about it, the further her heart sank and her stomach fell, the crushing squeeze in her chest enough to break her -

The doors ahead hissed open and her jaw clamped shut, teeth grinding down as she swallowed back her tears and quickly blinked them away. A redheaded blob peeked through, familiar, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody,” Ainsley answered, almost too quickly. 

“Bullshit, I heard you talking." Her heels clicked against the tiled floor as she stepped inside and spared a glance around the room. The doors hissed shut behind her and the girl's stomach twisted. "Who were you talking to? And don't play dumb - I know you're not a stupid bitch. If you're trying to plan a way to escape, that's not possible.”

“I was talking to myself," she cleared her throat, rolling her eyes. "Obviously.” 

“Don’t get fucking smart with me - It won't be good for you.” The woman rolled her eyes as hydraulics hissed behind her and the doors swished open. An armored krogan stormed in, the sound of her armor loud against the tiles, as she approached the prone woman and yanked her off the ground. Her magnetic-lock cuffs pulled her back down, her head slamming against the floor before she was pulled up again and her arms twisted behind her body. “Take her to Cell D-35 and alert the interrogators.”

“Interrogators?" Fear was hard to miss in her voice, slightly wavering as her watery eyes squinted and she swallowed down the swell of pain in her shoulders. Her vision swam at how fast she was being pulled around, her feet stumbling before she tripped and fell into a rhythm through the doors. "What did I do?”

“Shut up.” The deep rumble against her back made her tense, her eyes snapping down to stare at the ground as her expression fell. “Want me to knock her out or keep her awake?”

“Hmm… Options." Fingernails tapped against the metal bars as they passed by them, one after the other; It distracted her, her mind focusing on the noise. "I suppose we should keep her awake, for now." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Don't wanna jostle her so much that we won't get any information out of her.”

Green eyes warily took in the passing tiled walls as they started down the hallway. When she would hesitate on a step, uncertain that her foot would steady itself, a gun would whack against the center of her back and send her flying forward a few steps, nearly knocking the wind right out of her as she gasped and her surroundings briefly spun. “Can’t you be a little more gentle? I mean –“

“Shut." The malice in the krogan's deep, rumbling voice made her stomach turn, the grip on her wrists tightening as she yanked her back to growl low into her ear. A shiver ran down her spine. "Up.”

_“Ainsley,”_ she took in a quick breath, willing herself to relax as she let her go and she stumbled forward. _“I have run their genetic signatures in my database – The woman is identified as Dorado Amidala, who appears to be a part of the Collective. She worked under Lynx Tes’Feyna, who was training her to take her place for repairing the pipes in the base that filter their supply of Kadara’s sulfuric water.”_

She blinked. He continued.

_“The krogan’s identity appears to pull under two different dossiers, each with two different names. The first profile pulled was for an Urdnot Dartak,”_ her heart sharply sank as he paused for just a moment, ready to break in half and give up again at the mere thought of _another_ one of her 'friends' turning against her. _“Which appears to be fake.”_

Relief washed over her, her body relaxing with the softest, quietest breath as he continued. _“The second profile is Nakmor Rekjna, which seems to have more credible information. She appears to work for a woman named Keema Dohrgun, an associate to Reyes Vidal, a well-known smuggler.”_

Her eyes searched the slotted lines on the metal staircase as they made their way down it, thoughts swarming and dancing through her mind at his words. Keema Dohrgun, Keema, Keema – The name sounds familiar, just on the tip of her tongue, but she is not entirely sure. It tickled at the edges of her mind, vague, the slightest flash of her freckled, pale-pink face. Oh - She slightly nodded, swallowing thickly.

Rattling danced around her and down the metal hall are they walked through opened doors, voices calling out and overlapping as eyes met her figure, crawling down her spine and making her feel numb. The sounds bounced off of the walls and slammed against her over-worked brain, eyes tightly squeezing shut as the grip on her tightened and pushed her forward on a faltering step.

“Don’t slow down, princess.” Rekjna snorted, watching the ginger’s shoulders tense as she took another hesitant step forward. Green eyes glanced over her shoulder, narrowed and angry, which only made the krogan laugh even harder. “Don't get any ideas, baby girl. You can't do shit against me." Her foot pushed her calf, jostling her from her stance. "We're almost there - You can do it!”

A haughty laugh bit the woman beside the krogan, Dorado, her eyes rolling as she roughly gasped through a giggle. “God, this bitch is so drugged up that she can barely walk right, Rey." Her shoulder bopped against the armored one. "I mean, look at her! She’s literally wobbling from one side to the other - It's like she's a baby learning how to walk again!”

Raucous laughs filled the echoing hall, the noise reverberating through her legs and her brain pulsing with each loud noise. Anger tensed her shoulders and she pressed her lips together, biting down. A wave of nausea washed through her, bile biting at the back of her throat and making it difficult for her to breathe the longer she was poked fun of.

They pushed her through another set of open doors, into a room with jagged, rugged walls rising high on each side to the ceiling and metal bars across each wall. Blood stains littered the corners of the tiled-floor, deep-rusted splotches and splashes across the cave-like walls making her heart nearly stop. Her eyes reluctantly trailed to the main object in the room –

A laid-flat chair that looked awfully alike to execution chairs from Earth. Restraints in the form of magnetic-lock handcuffs were on the metal’s legs and arms and a zip-tie wrapped around the headrest, dread pooling deep in her body the longer she stared over at it. Her eyes trailed over to the tables behind it, metal tools and pointed instruments littering the surface. Fear flashed through her body, taking control as they pushed her forward.

Her stomach flipped.

She is going to die.

“Get on the chair.”

* * *

  
“Are you sure that this is the right place?” Javek’s uncertain voice, just barely audible over the hum of his ship's engines, broke him from his near-trance on the controls. Reyes glanced over, his thick brows slowly furrowing as he stared at the salarian before he tilted his attention back to the small village nestled into the crooks of a set of valleyed rocks, covered by towering trees. He sighed as the salarian quickly added. “That colony, I mean – I don’t remember what it’s called.”

“These _are_ the coordinates that your brother sent to my omnitool,” Reyes answered, taking in a quick breath as his fingers got back to work on the controls to land their shuttle. His hand hesitated over the holobuttons, a quick glance spared across his shoulder at the man before he finally tapped one and his fingers fell into a rhythm. “Unless he decided to fuck us over, which seems to be a recurring theme lately.”

"Reyes, are you serious?" Minute hurt flashed in his voice at the nonchalant suggestion and his brows sharply furrowed. “Jelah might be a major shit, but he wouldn’t do that - At least, not to me. We're close; We've been close our entire lives, you know? That brotherly-love shit and all that.”

Their gazes met and honeyed eyes narrowed, a slight jolt rushing through their bodies as the shuttle creaked and groaned as it started to commence its land. Air circulated around them, rustling his dark hair and a hand came up to brush it out of his eyes. “It’s Kadara, Javek – You learn not to trust anyone, not even family.”

“Then," a moment of silence passed between them as they stared at each other, "why are you here with me? You don't know me. All you know is what Ainsley's told you of me.”

Reyes tensed. His gaze trailed away from the man as he tapped the button to lift the doors and the briefest flash of an irritated grin curled the corners of his lips before it quickly disappeared. A sharp breath left him as hydraulics hissed around them and he threw his legs over the side of his seat, glancing back at him. He idly shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose we all have our own reasons.”

“Wow, that was such a," Javek's voice slightly wavered, slightly faded in and out, as he quickly threw his legs over his seat and hopped out of the vehicle, straightening and stretching out his long, lanky legs before he took a step forward. His lips pursed. "A super shady way to not answer a question, really.”

The tawny man laughed, the noise bouncing as he jumped out of the shuttle, before landing with a slight grunt and he started to smooth out his clothing. “You know," he glanced through the window at the salarian, a cocky grin dancing across his face. "You talk just like Ainsley.”

“Well, we  _are_ best friends,” Javek’s voice slightly wavered as he rounded the ship to fall into step with him, his brows furrowing as he paused for the briefest moment. “And honestly? I like to imagine that she’s adopted most of _my_ own mannerisms, in my opinion.” A chuckle danced behind his words. "Guess that's what you get from being around each other for so long."

A thick brow quirked up as he glanced up at the taller man. “You talk as if you’ve known her all of her life, Javek.”

His voice grew soft, gentle. “I kinda have.”

He did not elaborate.

Reyes glanced around the clearing, taking in the small village nearly surrounded by an array of trees; Strange, for Kadara. Houses that were stacked upon each other, linked and connected in whatever way they possibly could came into view as they passed through a few trees. Flowers wrapped and laced with ribbons were hanging like garland around every railing and window, string lights sparkling from their tethered spots across the roofs.  

“Interesting,” the tawny man said after a moment, whiskey eyes glancing from one house to the other. Holographic trees were bright and towering throughout the village, small plants and flowers dotting the yellow ground and standing out in such a stark contrast against the usual yellow-orange hue of Kadaran dirt – It almost did not look like they were on the same planet.

“God, they’re probably from Aya.” Javek snorted, shaking his head as he walked past a tree and held his hand out to touch it. The tree flickered, on and off, before it stuttered back to life and he groaned, a shudder running down his body. “Nothing’s more disgusting than a _fake_ tree. Are you kidding me?” Their eyes met and his brows furrowed. "The botanist in me is cringing right now -"

“Can I help you?” A voice started from ahead, interrupting him.

Reyes looked up, searching the porch of the house ahead before his eyes finally landed on an angaran woman – Her skin was a deep, midnight blue, impossibly white freckles dotting across her skin in the prettiest way. In her hands were a set of gardening shears, and a watering can sat on the edge of the metal railing surrounding the porch in front of her.

When they hesitated to answer, her brows furrowed. She pushed the rim of her beige hat back, setting the shears down on the wooden table beside her and brushing her hands on the front of her apron as she made her way down the steps. Her voice grew serious, curt. “I’m Aylin, and I’ll only ask you this question one more time. Can I help you?”

“Sorry,” Javek said almost too quickly, his hands shaking in front of him. Aylin towered over them by a good foot and a half, making his heart skip as he looked up at her. “My name is Javek and this is my friend, Reyes. We’re looking for our friend who was kinda kidnapped – Her name is Ainsley and she’s got wildly-long, ginger hair. And she’s covered in freckles, so she’s pretty hard to miss –“

“She’s been here.” A breath left the woman as she glanced around. Her shoulders relaxed as she realized everyone in the village were inside their houses and she took a step closer to them, leaning forward as her voice fell low, quiet, wide eyes searching honeyed ones. “We were told to keep quiet about it – They paid us an impossible sum to make sure we wouldn’t talk about this.”

“Who’s they?” Reyes' brows slowly furrowed, panic inching up his spine at how  _scared_ she sounded.

“I – I don’t know. It - It was a group of people. They wore helmets and refused to identify themselves, only that they were working for the Charlatan and doing what they were ordered to do." Aylin let out a shaky breath, her jaw tensing. "They were dragging her behind them, like she was some sort of toy. It’s - It was disgusting!” Hands balled into fists, her eyes narrowing as disgust pulled at her tone. "My people would never stand for this - I don't know why they are now!"

“Could you figure out anything about them?” Javek asked, brows furrowing as his voice stuttered while he searched for words, for the right questions to ask. “How they looked, what species they are, anything such as that?" A slight tremor in his voice, his heart ever-so-slightly skipping, made him feel... He did not want to think about it. "Anything can help us right now - We're running on _nothing_.”

Aylin took in a quick breath, her eyes wide as she quickly glanced around them. Hands grasped one of each of their shoulders, pulling them closer as she took a step closer to her house. Their heads leaned closer together, her eyes wide. “One was a turian, one was a krogan, and one was a human.”

His mind was racing - A feeling he could not put a finger on grasped ahold of his chest, something akin to a strange mix of fear and anger, making him feel numb. He swallowed thickly, steeling his gaze as his jaw tensed. “Did you see where they went?”

“Down in –“ Her words sharply dropped and she quickly shook her head, eyes squeezing shut before they finally opened and caught the tawny man's gaze. “Here, I’ll show you, but we must be quick." She glanced around, taking a step back as a rush of air left her. "I can’t let anyone see me following their trail.”

* * *

  
“I don’t know! I don't,” her voice cracked, fell apart; Wretched, horrid sobs breaking the words and pulling at her throat until it ran raw, bloody and painful. Frantic whimpers spilled from her, her chest violently heaving as the blade slashed her torso relentlessly, again and again – Words fell out of her in a swift rush, desperate and begging as pain seized up her body and she cried, her voice wavering as it grew higher with each hit. “I don’t know! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know -”

“We both know that’s a lie, Ryder.” A voice, soft and sugary sweet, purred low into her ear against her fervently shaking head, her shoulder hiking up and her eyes squeezing shut. She pulled against the magnetic-lock handcuffs and they tightened, sending a shiver up her spine as the metal constricted and dug into the fresh cuts on her wrists. A gross gasp ripped from her, the noise broken and painful as tears ran down her cheeks -

"Oh, come on." The sharpest prick in her forearm sent a rush of warmth running through her veins, slowly turning into chill as her expression relaxed. Her surroundings hazed together, oblivion racing through her system and dulling her senses, hyper-focusing on the ones she did not wish to feel. Blood stains ran across her tattered clothing, her olive jacket ripped to shreds to reveal slits of angry skin covered in welts peeking out and her white shirt a now off-pink color. “We all know that you’re her favorite.” 

"Even if she doesn't want to admit it," something cool, horribly cold to the touch, ran up the length of her left, bare forearm and her throat constricted. Goosebumps followed in its wake, the sharp object resting just against the bend of her arm. Her jaw tensed, nostrils flaring as she swallowed thickly. "You're going to tell me everything you know about Sloane - I want to know every gory detail, every tiny little thing about that bitch and I want to hear it _now._ "

Her voice did not want to work, cracking and breaking. "I -"

“Dorado," Rekjna almost had sympathy in her voice, a low sense of urgency hiding in her tone as she grasped the woman's forearm to pull her away from the chair. Her expression faltered as she took in the sheer pain written across her freckled face, green eyes blurry with tears and her lips parted, trembling. Something pulled in her heart. "She didn't tell us to ask those questions. That’s not what we’re –“

“I don’t care!" The yell, abruptly echoing through the room and jumping against the walls, startled Ainsley - Her body tensed, the handcuffs tightening and gripping her so tightly, her vision swam and her head rolled back with a whimper. "She’s here, right where we want her, and we’re getting this information," a fist banged against the table, sending metal tools clattering around. " _Now_!”

Silence fell into the room - The tension between the two was tangible, dancing around them and making her stomach churn as the metal instrument in Dorado's hand pressed back against her forearm, harder, pricking the skin and drawing the slightest bit of blood. She gasped, lips pressing together to hold back a sob threatening to burst in her throat. "This is the only time we'll be able to get this kinda information out of her, Rey."

"Listen, I'm all for beating the shit out of people for fun and games, but this is..." Rekjna stared down at the ginger, biting her bottom lip before letting out a sigh. Worry pulled at the edges of her deep-set features, dark-red skin dotted with black freckles slightly crinkling. "This is a little excessive, Dorado. You're going too far - We had orders to keep her  _alive_ , not -"

"Luckily for me, she didn't specify whether or not hurting her was optional." With the flick of her wrist, the instrument shot up and glinted under the harsh light; It flickered, reflected, in Dorado's deep eyes, a predatory smirk crawling across her ashen face. "And since she's not willing to cough up any information, we just need to give her a little bit of a  _push_."

“Wait - No, no, no! Please -” Frantic pleas flooded the small room, bouncing off the walls and chiming down her body, as the knife mercilessly slammed against her stomach and ripped across her skin. She screamed, her body tensing and pulling against the restraints, making them hold her even tighter. Blood, rich and deep, pooled at the surface and stained her clothing. Knees pulled against the locks, her body trying to curl into itself in a vain attempt. “I’m not, I’m not, I’m not – I – I don’t – I don’t know, please -“

“Are you serious?" Dorado scoffed, eyes roaming the length of her body. "Looks like we need something a little more… Intense to get our point across.” A grin pulled at the edges of her voice, slightly fading as the knife clattered to the tiles and she walked across the room. Walls spun around her hazy vision, her body fighting against a low tremor settled deep into her bones as shock started to take control of her. Numbness settled into her legs, dread pooling in her stomach as it slowly inched up her body.

Something hissed to life, searing and hot, and her heart stopped.

“Hope you aren’t too attached to your pretty face.”

* * *

  
“It’s right down here,” Aylin breathlessly started as she glanced around, making sure that they were alone. Off in the distance, the village slowly disappeared over the horizon as it gave way to a more forest-like clearing. A mountainside stood ahead, flowering vines and colorful flowers intertwined along its ruddy-brown body, leading to a bronzed boulder set in the middle. Tall and towering holographic trees gave them rich, dark-green cover as she passed by a beautiful array of colors dotting across the mountain's body and sidled up beside the jagged rock.

“Here,” she nodded towards the two men as her hands grasped one of its flatter sides, getting a solid grip. “Help me out here.”

Wordlessly, they fell into place beside her, eyes meeting one another's before the salarian nodded and they pushed. Grunts escaped them as they finally managed to knock the massive rock out of its spot; It slowly rolled away with a clank and a crash, one after the other, before it fell flat feet away and pieces of it crumbled apart. In its wake sat a set of malfunctioning doors, sparks flying from broken wires and pieces of the ceiling hanging low.

“There will be a system through here, leading to a set of doors." Aylin glanced from one to the other, her voice growing softer as she grasped their shoulders and her brows furrowed. "If you follow it straight back, without making any turns through any other hallways, it should take you right to the heart of the cave. I do believe that is where –“

A scream interrupted her.

It sharply died down, falling flat as it bounced and rolled off of the walls in the dark cave and danced down into a soft whisper, a gentle, rocking murmur. Their gazes met, hesitation widening their eyes as an eerie silence fell among them. Nobody wanted to be the first to speak, the fear of knowing what the noise could have been solidifying their bodies in place. A shaky breath left the angara.

Aylin’s brows slowly furrowed, her hand pressing flat over her heart and panic slowly pooling in her galaxy-like eyes. “Was that –“

Screams echoed through the start of the caves and made his blood freeze, her hand grasping a fistful of fabric. Reyes’ eyes widened as they harshly skipped, broken by a sudden wash of sobs that made his legs fall numb; Pleas, desperate and begging, repeated over and over and over, broken and ripping apart at the seams before they gave way to frantic yells, cries, yelps, for help.

"Oh, my God." Javek could not breathe, his jaw agape and his brows sharply shooting up. “That’s..." Wide, reptilian eyes met whiskey ones as he grabbed the man's shoulders and another scream interrupted him. His heart stopped, grip tightening until his nails nearly broke and a tremble settled in his voice. “That’s Ainsley, Reyes!” He shoved the man away, stumbling over a step before he took off through the entrance. "That's Ainsley!"

Urgency gripped his chest as they bolted down the length of the cramped, dimly-lit cavern. Rocks kicked loose under their boots, dancing along the pathway as they ran through one set of doors followed by another – Endless and intertwined, leading to the edge of nowhere. His hand fumbled for the gun in the holster attached to his thigh, fingers a near-death grip on the handle as it popped out and thick, dark brows set in worry.

Walls gave way to cells the further they went in, voices clamoring and falling quiet as the tawny man rounded the corner and his gun shot before he could think, before he could even process it. One guard fell, then the other, and the frantic yelling grew louder as they grew closer. Eyes from within the cells followed their every move and made his heart skip, honeyed eyes meeting wide, bright blue ones belonging to an angaran woman to the side of one of the cells.

She looked terrified.

Her hands reached for purchase on the bars as she stood and her lips slowly murmured as she pointed to a door, wordless and breathless and in awe. “In there.”

His heart stopped.

Tawny hands got to work; His wrist flicked up and his omnitool flickered on with no hesitation. Orange washed over his dark features in the dimly-lit room as he got to work hacking into the door’s sequencer, taking in a deep breath as his eyes met the salarian's. A moment of silence passed between them, wordless, and the weight of eyes upon them nearly crushed him as he nodded and his finger sent the code.

The hydraulics hissed as the doors opened and before he could think twice, anger and malice laced within his voice, poison dripping, and his gun shot up at the backs of the only two women in the room. "Don't fucking move!"

Their bodies tensed as they froze in their place, obscuring the view of the woman laid flat in front of them. A trembling breath left him as he took one careful step to the side, followed by another. Whiskey eyes flickered between them, eyes dangerously narrowed and a snarl curled on his face, until she came into his view and his legs fell numb at the sight. His gun slightly lowered, faltered, as his eyes widened and his lips parted, shock.

Tears rushed down her face, the skin on her cheek searing hot and red, obscured by a red-hot iron. Splotches of her pale, freckled skin were burned off, blood and gore peeking out as her jaw trembled and her lips quivered, a low tremor settled in her body. Deep green eyes, bloodshot and frantic with pupils so blown the color was barely visible, met his and his world paused, cracked.

His heart broke.

A sob burst free and her face contorted in pure agony, anguish, pulling at his heart in the worst way, and the iron in Dorado’s hand fully pulled away from her face to reveal the majority of her cheek mangled into an incoherent, bloody mess, nearly melting away. Steam hissed up as it parted, her body horribly, uncontrollably shaking. “Reyes, please - Oh, my God –“

The anger he felt made his vision flash red and his surroundings hazed together.


	6. witches

“R-Reyes -“

A harsh breath left him at her broken voice. The ruined, mangled skin of her cheek, distorted and painful, made his heart ache, burn; Anger coursed through his veins and numbed his body, freezing him in place. A tense on his gun made a shoulder hike up, nostrils flaring and lips pressing together. His composure unraveled, pieces unthreading. “Names.”

“Reyes," the gag that cracked her words only made him see fire, flames igniting his whiskey eyes as she broke, melted into tears that stuttered her words; Aflame. "P-Please –“

“Names!” His sharp yell echoed, bounced against the walls in a vivid ricochet, rough and harsh; It clattered around and around the room's cave-like walls, sending her over-heightened senses rolling in a nauseating wave. His gun snapped up to their heads, their hands shooting up and gasps littering, staining the air, steps taken back. " _Now_!"

“Dorado,” the redhead quickly started, interrupting him. Her throat bobbed with a thick swallow, breaths uneven and frantic as movement shuffled from the corner of her eyes; Her neck tensed as she slightly nodded towards the krogan, their gazes never breaking. “And Rekjna.”

A pause made his thick, dark brows furrow. A moment made honeyed eyes narrow as he took in their features, and a breath gave it away. “I know your faces." His rich voice murmured, falling low as he took a step forward, fearful eyes widening. They watched with bated breaths as his body inched closer, closer; Predator versus prey. "The two of you work for the Collective.”

“I – Yes.” Rekjna cleared her throat, eyes snapping over to watch a teary-eyed salarian fall to his knees at the ginger. “We do.”

“Care to explain what happened here?” His tone grew curt, sharp, angry; Malice stained his words, poison lashing the edges. They winced. “The last that I remember, the Charlatan had not issued any orders that went along the lines of, ‘Kidnap this woman, who's not only working as an insider for one of our biggest enemies but also a valuable asset to the Collective, and torture her senseless’.”

“Yes, she had –“

“She?” An abrupt laugh broke his words, near-chaotic. His hand gripped the gun tighter, knuckles nearly bulging. Their gazes met and a chill caught her body, pupils constricting. “The Charlatan isn’t a woman.”

“And how would you know that?" The stubbornness hanging in her brown eyes was enough to send him over the edge, falling, collapsing; He could feel the unsteady grip on his composure faltering, flickering, as eyes glanced over to watch Javek's trembling hands get to work on unlocking her restraints. "Nobody’s seen their face! For all we know, the Charlatan could be a -”

“If," Reyes interrupted her. Her mouth clamped shut, his finger pressing against the trigger, lightly, carefully. A wordless threat that made her throat feel full. " _If_ nobody has seen their face, then why do you assume that the Charlatan is a woman, Dorado?”

The silence that hung in the air was his answer. His lip curled in a sneer, mean, rude; A step closer to the redhead made her go back, his body meeting the lost steps as she stuttered, stammered. Wide, brown eyes stared into whiskey ones, her mouth lamely opening and closing; She tried to find the words, something, anything, to no avail.

“I – I…“

“ _Why_ do you assume that the Charlatan is a woman?” The rough, abrupt tone of his voice briskly rising made the woman jump. Her hip jolted against a metal table, sending it crashing to the floor in a cacophony of ungodly noises melting together; Metal instruments scattered to the floor, clattering and clinking.

A shiver ran down the ginger’s spine, her breathing heavy, labored, as Javek undid the clasps on her wrists. Bloodshot, green eyes tried to focus, to watch him corner the woman while she sat up, only for her surroundings to haze together in blobs. Her body fell limp, weak, back against the table; The brief register of reptilian hands grasping her shoulders flickered through her mind, senses fading. 

An itching for Oblivion made her want to curl up, to hide away, to die -

She didn't have much more time left.

“Because, I…” Dorado stumbled over her words. She cleared her throat, a soft breath leaving her as she steeled her gaze and squared her shoulders. Fake confidence rushed through her and she swallowed thickly. “Well, obviously, we can’t just assume that the Charlatan is a guy. I mean, women are just as capable, if not more able, as a man in that kind of position –“

Irritation raced up his spine at her words, static tickling the edges that made him want to dig into her; He crossed the distance, a sharp breath leaving her. Seconds passed, metal tools kicked around the floor and screeching against cold tile, before he grasped the back of her neck, fingers sharply digging into the messy twist of red hair at the nape of her neck. He yanked her closer to him and she whimpered, a warm breath fanning across her face.

Her heart stopped beating, a cold chill deeply gripping her bones as wide eyes met narrowed, whiskey ones, and the cool metal of a gun against her stomach seeped through the fabric of her under-armor. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think; Her breath caught in her chest and fear threatened to swallow her alive -

“I’m not playing games.”

The softest echo of footsteps chimed through the open doors behind them, rushing through the cave walls and making him freeze. His grip tightened and her eyes rolled back with a sharp gasp. Reyes’ head turned to the side as he listened; A familiar, twanged voice softly, quietly, dancing through the air caused a pause in his breath and a shoulder to hitch up –

 _“Check those cells for her!"_  Anger laced through his voice, tugging heavily at it; Curses muttered under his breath like venom, hanging heavy in the air and broken only by fabric shuffling, armor clinking, and residual footsteps. _"I swear to the Spirits, if anyone has touched even just a single strand of orange hair on her little, human head, I’m gonna be fucking livid.”_

Kaetus.

“Oh, my God -” Ainsley’s breathless voice caught his attention, eyes snapping over to catch her curling over in the salarian's arms; A strange feeling rushed through him as he stared at her, trembling legs barely able to keep herself standing. Her head slightly shook, lips trembling and tears blurring her vision as she met his gaze, fearful. Time nearly stood still. “If - If Kaetus sees y-you – If he sees you h-here…”

"Ainsley," a tremor in Javek's voice made her crack. "Take it easy."

"No!" A painful squeeze in his chest nearly broke him as her composure faltered, broke, and she lost it; She cried, her words broken by soft whimpers, nails digging into the salarian's arms as they wrapped around her waist to steady her. Pain surged through her and she winced, recoiled. "You need to -"

“You and J-Javek need to,” sweat-soaked, ginger hair fell in her eyes as her head frantically shook, a mute sob straining her voice, uneven. She nearly tripped on a sudden step forward, arms tightening to catch her and she coughed. “You need to h-hide - No, y-you need to – to get out of here!”

“Ainsley, no!” Disbelief punctuated his voice; His reptilian eyes were wide, his mouth agape in pure shock as his grip tightened on her body. She fought against him, nausea washing through her when eyes glanced down to catch her bloodstains on his deep, orange arms. She paled. “What if they’re here to kill you?! You said it yourself, that you’re being put under this, this –“

Reyes cleared his throat.

Javek took in a quick breath, beady eyes flickering from the tawny men to the woman in his grip, the slightest peek of the krogan behind her, before his mouth clamped shut. It opened and shut, brows furrowing before he let out a scoff and shook his head. “Ainsley –“

“You need to _leave_ ,” the ginger ground out through clenched teeth; She twisted out from his arms and stumbled forward, hands grasping the tortuous chair she’d been restrained in. Her grip tightened, trying to steady herself, her body tensed. She looked up, wide, scared eyes meeting whiskey ones and her breath hitched -

The sight of him nearly melted together, hazy and strange; His grip on the woman faltered, a look she couldn't put her finger on flickering through whiskey eyes, before his grip impossibly tightened. He let her go with a rough push, a harsh gasp swallowed down by an abrupt whimper as she stumbled back. A mean snarl on his face made the redhead hesitate, fearful eyes snapping from him to the krogan, hesitating as they met the bloodied ginger.

Reyes' body bristled when Dorado looked over at her - Irritation ate him alive, eyes narrowing as he took a step forward.

“Leave,” his voice was curt, rough; He almost sounded protective, a harsh breath leaving him –

A shiver ran down the redhead's spine and she looked back at him, hesitation cementing her feet in place. The krogan paused beside her, eyes wide; Anger danced across his sharp features, shadows bathing his tawny face from the dim-lit lighting of the room and masking them in a dark wash of rich color.

“ _Leave_!”

A hard kick against the table, a slam, rattling and rushing through the room and sending metal skidding away almost made her scream; Dorado tripped as she desperately grabbed Rekjna's muscular forearm, pulling her with her as they rounded the man before they ran through the open doors.

Irritated fingers scratched an endless pattern through his hair, shoulders tensing as he watched them disappear – A mental note was quickly made, his head slightly nodding as he let out a sharp breath. The irritation slowly relaxed from his body.

He’d take care of them later.

“R-Reyes,” Ainsley’s voice cracked, catching his attention.

He looked over and his heart broke at the sight – Tears overwhelmed her vision, rushing down her bloodied, freckled cheeks as she stared at him, lips trembling as she tried to say words that refused to come out. Her stomach tensed, ripped clothing giving way to lashes on her skin and angry welts peeking through; The pain flickering through her green eyes made him feel weak.

“Ainsley,” Reyes sounded breathless as he crossed the distance, their hands meeting for the briefest moment before hers recoiled. They flexed, tensed, her feet stumbling as she stepped back, away from him; His touch hurt - Everything hurt, an ache rushing through her.

"No," a soft breath left her as she stared down at her hands, ginger brows slowly furrowing. Her gaze followed the length of her freckled arms, the sight of blood splattered across her torn clothing making her feel _sick,_  weak; It trailed down her stomach, panic grasping her mind as she stared down at the tattered shirt and a memory flickered through her wide eyes–

The deep, olive jacket her father had given her, just before they left for Andromeda, was shredded and picked apart, her white shirt underneath stained a pale mixture of pink and red. It gave way to slits of rashed skin, red and searing; Blood stained and pooled in dotted patterns, black pants torn down the length and fraying - Her heart broke in half, grief prickling her veins.

She couldn't breathe.

Footsteps inched closer, closer, urgency gripping her bones and making her want to scream. She could feel it, hear it, their voices overlapping and growing louder as seconds, minutes passed and she nearly broke. The thought of them getting hurt - 

“Reyes, Javek,” hands reached, hesitated, for them before they twisted in ginger hair and her head fervently shook. She swallowed down a gag, the briefest hint of seriousness flashing across her anguished features as she fought against herself. What did she want? What? What? Fingers carded through knotted hair, her mind overwhelmed. Be strong - She had to be strong. “Leave.”

“Ainsley –“

“No!" The way the salarian said her name made her want to curl up; Hands ripped away from her head to ball into fists at her side, her voice cracking as it rose and she took an unsteady step forward to him, at him. "You - Leave!”

“Leave? I’m not leaving - Are you kidding me?!” Javek shook his head, reaching out to grasp her hands. The look in his eyes, worry and fear mixing together, made her heart break. "There's no way in hell I'm leaving you behind! You're my best friend, Ainsley!"

She stepped back, away from him, away from his touch, and swallowed back a sob.

It hurt. His expression faltered, fell.

“You’re – You _need_ to leave. _Please,_  “ the desperation in her frantic, strained voice made her want to throw up, unlike her, unlike her. The thought of losing them – She couldn’t; She couldn't even think of it, her fear intermingling with panic and she couldn't breathe. Her voice rose, scared. It cracked as she took a stumbling step away, trying to pace as hands vividly gestured. “You’re running out of time. If they find you here, they’ll k-kill you!  _Please_ –“

Reyes’ heart hurt. The tone of her voice sparked a feeling he wasn't sure of in his chest, emotions conflicting - A hand came to rest on the salarian’s shoulder, honeyed eyes meeting deep green ones and she paused. The look in them sent a near-shiver rushing up his spine, a soft breath escaping him before he swallowed down the bubble in his throat. “Let’s go.”

“What?" Wide, reptilian eyes stared at him in awe before they narrowed. "Reyes, are you serious?!”

“She has a point, Javek." A soft tug against his shoulder made him turn, his expression suddenly faltering as tears took over; Broken pleas, begs, spilled from him and Reyes sighed. His heart was torn - He wanted to save her, to take her away, to protect her from this nightmare-filled world, to keep her safe from all of the things she doesn't deserve and - "We can’t help her if we’re dead.”

Javek's voice cracked. “…Fine.”

Arms trembled as she watched them leave, the tawny man walking backward and their gazes lingering, hesitating – A soft look, a gentle hint of worry in whiskey eyes made her feel weak and her knees almost gave out. No - Stay strong. The glint of orange disappeared around the bend of the corner and her body gave up, finally giving in. Trembling knees faltered, bending, before she crashed to the floor.

Her vision blurred, shaking hands folding together in front of her head while her forehead pressed against the cold metal of the chair; A shaky sob escaped, weak, weak - She swallowed thickly, hair falling over her face as she shook her head. It felt like she was dying – A low ache settled in her body, slowly growing until it nearly consumed her and a static-filled buzz overwhelmed her senses.

Moments melted together in a haze, her brain barely registering the flood of armored footsteps as a damp chill pricked the edges of her lacerated skin. Goosebumps dotted her pale skin, cold; Ice tickled the slits ripped into her clothing, a puff of air leaving her as her surroundings swam, moved around, and darkness consumed her.

* * *

  
_“I don’t really care if she –“_ Voices flickered in and out, in and out, just on the brink of her conscious. They were mute and gentle in a way that she couldn't describe; Soft and quiet, almost dancing like the strangest, most alluring melody she's ever heard. They sounded vaguely familiar.  _“…And to be quite truthful, I could really just –“_

Darkness washed over her and her senses paled, red hinting at the edges of her vision as she tried to open her eyes. Something struggled through the haze, a soft prick against her temple making her strain; A soft beep broke the fog, echoing, cascading away. 

It didn’t work.

Diluted pain licked her body, striking various points along her skin, and something squeezed her stomach, tense. Her breath caught in her chest, minute panic tickling the back of her head. No - Take a deep breath. Okay. She swallowed thickly, steeling herself, and struggled to open her closed eyes.

It didn't work.

Hell.

Is this hell? Has it finally happened? Did some God finally take pity on her poor soul and take her away, home to her mother? If it is hell, it's one hell of a stupid joke; Blobs of black swirled around, hazy and melting like an oil spill. A chill kissed the tips of her fingers, trailing up her forearms before surging down her body.

Wait - Hell isn't supposed to be cold, is it?

 _“- and they…”_ Another voice filtered in, breaking through the strange, muted surroundings of her senses; It echoed through her head, almost chiming in an ethereal way, and made her recoil into herself. _“But, they said –“_

A rough scoff broke the words in half, disbelief tugging at another’s voice. This one was the most familiar, a soft hint of sarcasm dripping from each word. _“…and I said that I don’t care,”_ familiar, familiar, a familiar voice. Who is it? _“If I could, I would give even less of a rat’s arse, quite frankly, because I like her and I –“_

_“Would you two shut up?!”_

A slight twinge that made the monitor behind her beep, a skip in her heart that said  _you're alive, you're alive,_ and her eyes fluttered open.

Hazy, melting blobs of colors oozed and rolled together, all uniform and boring; Greys, blacks, whites – Occasional dots of red punctuated the air, a sterile smell stinging her senses and overwhelming her as her eyes squeezed shut. Her senses flooded back in, beeping and chiming making her shoulders tense, pricking her ears, and her mind swam. She coughed, the burn of air in sore lungs too much.

White walls on white walls, a white ceiling, and white sheets; They blobbed together, monotone colors, before the sight of softly-mixed greys and pale purples rushed in. Bright blue lines crossed and zagged, forming familiar patterns that her eyes followed as they slowly, gradually focused before -

“Ainsley?” Kaetus’ breath left him in a rush, talons reaching for bruised and blood-stained, bandaged hands; A slight screech from his metal chair skidding beside her bed, aching to be closer to her, made her jump. Relief flickered through beady eyes, mandibles warily shifting in a weak, happy smile. “I’m not religious, but shit…”

"Thank the Spirits you're okay," hazel eyes slowly took in her sullen, soft features, purple staining under her lack-luster eyes and making his heart feel heavy as they trailed down; The bandages curved around her left cheek, obscuring from just beside her eye and down. Scarlet and crimson pooled through white linen, a flip in his stomach making him frown. 

Kaetus’ touch made her wince, recoil, gag – Too much, all at once, overwhelming her senses, auditory overload making her near-numb. Heavily-lidded, green eyes glanced over, meeting a fierce, heterochromia gaze underlined by pale blue dots - Her stomach dropped.

Sloane.

It's Sloane.

The slightest flicker of a smile on her scarred face made her hesitate.

What?

“Good to see you’re awake,” Sloane started, almost softly, almost gently, and pins and needles danced up her legs, shocked. Her jaw would've dropped, too, if her face didn't feel numb. “Was beginning to think I’d have to go and whack your head to bring you back to life, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” Ainsley’s voice cracked, hoarse. It hurt, an ache making her words tremble. She cleared her throat. “Yeah.”

A delicate, sweet touch lightly trailing down her scratched-up forearm caught her attention. She looked up, meeting the sight of worried, hazel eyes. Her body slightly tensed. A drop in her stomach made dread follow, pooling there; The way he was looking at her, adoration dancing through his eyes, made her feel... Uncomfortable, almost, that familiar feeling of butterflies fleeting and replaced by something else.

What?

“Who did this?” His voice was stained by malice, anger; Minute fury lit up his dark features and made her heart skip, mandibles shifting and nostrils flaring. She hesitated, and he shook his head. His talons met her hands, an iron-tight grip making her gasp, wince. “Who the fuck did this to you, Ainsley?!”

Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

“Hey,” Sloane’s hand clapped his shoulder and a strange feeling pricked the ginger’s heart. Reluctant talons slowly fell from her fingers, his body falling back into his seat as he looked over. She smiled and his mandibles shifted, irritated. “Let me talk to her, got it? You go and do your usual sulky business elsewhere while we have some nice, old, girl chat.”

Fear numbed her already-dulled senses. What if -

Kaetus’ hand lingered on hers for a moment, a second too long; Her heart skipped a beat. The hesitation was visible across his body, a slight hitch of his shoulder nearly giving him completely away; It melted with an irritated sigh. He slightly nodded, swallowing thickly as his hand slowly fell from hers and he stood with a creak.

Sloane took his chair.

“Ainsley,” her voice nearly sent a shiver rushing down her spine. Heterochromia eyes took in her bandaged face, blood staining the edges and bathing the fabric in a deep maroon. A sharp breath left her, a soft feeling making her heart grow, almost. She almost felt pity. “I just wanted to say that I know how you feel right now.”

Ginger brows slowly furrowed, pain pricking her skin through the movement. Her voice cracked. “You do?”

Sloane chuckled. Her index finger softly traced the mangled line down her deep, umber cheek, following the trail to a cluster of uneven and jagged splotches of twisted skin; The memory still lingered, her gaze gentle, wandering, as it reminisced through her mind. “Ever wondered how I got this nasty bitch?”

“Uh - I… Sometimes." Fingers fiddled in her lap, nervously, quickly adding, "but, I - I know that you don't like -“

“It’s not a crime to wonder, you know." The brief smile that flickered across her face shocked her. "Nasty attack on an out-laying colony that my crew and I were stationed on for some patrol work. Jumped in front of a little girl, probably more like a teenager, who was being chased by a slaver bastard. Batarian bastard, that is.”

“What?" Ainsley shifted to sit up, her body nearly recoiling from the pain. Her words broke with effort, strained. "Are you serious?”

“Yep. She was so tiny - Some measly little kid." Sloane sighed. "Shepard, I think. Teagan. Alien fucker managed to snag me 'cross the face with a weird-ass knife before I could stop him. Saved her life, but this hurt like a fucking bitch. And I was so extremely pissed about my face. I mean, shit – Eyes are the window to the soul and all that bullshit, right? People look at your face ‘fore anything else.”

A soft breath left Sloane before she could help it; Solemn, quiet, a strange pause that softened her hard-set features and made the air fall gentle. It ghosted around her and her dark brows slowly furrowed. “Know we don’t get along all that well, but you’re a damn good guard. One of the best, in my opinion. Also pretty, too." Her finger poked her bandaged forearm, a brow quirking up. "Don’t let this get the best of you. Scars only make you better, unique. You know?”

Something clicked in Ainsley’s chest –

She was sharing an intimate moment with her.

With Sloane.

“I – I…” Ainsley’s heart squeezed, ached; The fact that Sloane was sharing this with her, showing this tiny bit of vulnerability, made her feel honored, almost. It felt like she shouldn't be seeing her like this. A strange feeling nearly crushed her chest into pieces, eyes briefly meeting before it was unbearable. She swallowed thickly, glancing down at her lap. “Yeah, I… Thank you.” A slight pause made her hesitate, stammering. She cleared her throat, soft. “I… I have a question I wanna ask you, I guess?”

“Shoot.”

“I know that there’s been… Rumors, I guess, about me.” Her throat felt dry. Words didn’t want to leave her, hesitation biting and making her freeze in place. Shoulders tensed, lips pressing together, before a quick breath left her. “Going around the Headquarters and stuff, that is. I don’t really know. Is… I guess my question is… Is that – Do you –“

“No, I don’t believe them.” Relief nearly overwhelmed her, shoulders falling lax and the breath caught in her throat releasing itself. “But you know that I’m a woman of the people, and if there’s suspicion in the ranks, I have to deal with it.” Sloane sighed, arms folding over her chest as she continued. “Do I believe the rumors? No. Do I have to put you on house arrest and hold a trial to make people feel better? Yes.”

Ainsley’s stomach sank. She nodded. “I get it.”

“Good.” Sloane stood with a sigh, tilting her head. A soft pat against her knee made her weakly smile. “Rest up, make sure your ass gets out of bed once in a while or else your legs will stop working, too. Take as long as you need, but not too long.”

She nodded.

The soft clink of her footsteps, one after the other, made her heart beat faster, faster. Hydraulics hissed as the doors shut behind her and Ainsley’s heart couldn't stop racing. She wanted – No, she _needed_ to see her face, how she looked, the damage done to the only thing that she liked –

Urgency grabbed ahold of her as she unplugged one machine after the other, steady beeps flatlining and filling her ears with static. Her intravenous line ripped out, blood squirting out and staining pale sheets with an unsteady breath. She threw the white blanket off her lap as she swung her feet over the bed, trembling hands pushing her up with a soft grunt. 

One frantic hand grasped the metal railing on the wall, following the lining; Sparse furniture passed by with each limped step, the same boring greys and blacks lining silver-backed chairs, until she approached a sink sat to the other end of the room, across from the window. She took in a slow breath, squaring her shoulders, before coming face to face with the wide mirror above it –

She gasped.

A shaky hand pressed over her agape mouth, quivering lips giving way to a soft whimper as tears overwhelmed her vision, unable to stop shaking, shaking. The richly-stained bandage obscured the left side of her face, deep and angry; Her cheek ached, something there, something there, the urge to scratch it away consuming her and ringing in her ears.

It took all of her willpower not to peel away the bandage, to look, to see, to pick at it until it was bloody, raw, ruined -

Teary eyes ripped away from her cheeks, unable to stare for even a second longer. It felt like she was losing her sanity. Hands gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles bulging as her chest rose and fell, unsteady. She slowly took in her appearance, her breath hitching.

Ginger hair was pulled up into an extremely messy bun, light tufts of hair sticking out and looped over one another in endless knots. Her eyes were sullen, tired, bloodshot; Blood broke the outer white of her left, bruises lining under her eye as it led to brighter, deeper marks hidden by fabric and she gagged. An arm crossed over her body as she curled into herself, breaking, breaking, breaking –

“Ainsley?”

A familiar, gently-muted, yet rich voice made her heart stop beating; A rush of relief coursed through her veins as the familiarity registered in her brain, hands falling from the sink's rim. She looked over after a second, sad, green eyes wide and blurry, her voice soft, cracking. “Reyes?”

The sight of him through the window was enough to ruin her. Whiskey eyes briefly flickered around the room before he finally ducked through, quick steps crossing the distance. The closer he got, the more his heart skipped; He pulled her into a crushing hug, knocking the wind right out of her, and –

Ainsley whimpered, falling apart in his arms.

A gentle hand carded up her back as nails dug into his, trailing through the fallen strands of loose, tangled hair cascading down the nape of her neck. Soft breaths of air sharply left her in little puffs as his fingertips gently rubbed an airy circle over her lower back, broken by quiet sobs as she tried to pull herself together; It didn't work. Nothing worked, her mind overwhelmed.

“I-I’m – I’m u-ugly.” Her voice broke, cracked, shredded apart into small, vulnerable pieces. The grip on his back tightened, hard enough to draw blood. “I’m ugly, I’m ugly, I'm, I'm –“

“No,” Reyes gently pulled away from her, hands skimming over her soft shoulders as his eyes met hers. The pain in them broke his heart, the urge to comfort her nearly overwhelming his senses. “You’re not ugly, Ainsley.”

“Yeah, I am –“

“No, you’re not.” Her breath hitched at the serious tone of his voice, time pausing as golden eyes searched deep greens. The urge to touch her, to cradle her jaw, to make her feel something other than what she was feeling right now clawed at him, hands tensing on her shoulders. “You’re beautiful.”

It caught her off-guard; Green eyes slowly widened, lips slightly parting as a light shiver raced down her spine. Her heart skipped a beat.

“You’re even more beautiful _now_ , truly _._ Scars add character, grit; It adds a sense of uniqueness that makes you, _you_." A soft breath left him, the stained bandage on her cheek distracting. It hurt to look at, he realized. The thought scared him. "In fact, it’s only made you more special than you were before -" A soft chuckle broke his words. "Fuck, if that’s even possible.”

“I’m - I'm not special, Reyes.” It was hard to speak. Her head slightly shook, hands rising from her shoulders to the sides of her head. Ginger hair bunched up under his touch, disorienting; She swallowed thickly. “I’m just a - A piece of shit nobody who’s – Who’s –“

“Who’s beautiful.” A gentle smile curled the corners of his lips. "And not a piece of shit." 

Their gazes met, tears overwhelming and rushing down her cheeks. A soft feeling squeezed at her heart, falling between them the longer they stared at each other. A moment, a beat passed and it all felt like too much, all at once. She shakily sighed, looking away as he tucked loose strands of hair behind her ears.

“W-What –" A quick breath left her as she glanced down at the floor. "What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you, obviously.” The quirk of his smirk nearly made her heart really, truly, stop beating. She stepped away from him, his hands lamely falling from her hair. “I mean, you didn’t really give me much of an option with you yelling at us to leave.”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Did you _really_ sneak in here?”

“Of course,” Reyes airily chuckled as he approached the bed and sat down, patting the empty spot beside him. “Truthfully, I’d much rather have taken the front door. I'm not as young as I used to be - Climbing up the wall to get to this room?  _That_ nearly killed me. But, alas, I’ve found that I’m rather hated here, yes?”

"God," she scoffed, wiping at her eyes as she plopped down beside him. “You’re not even _that_ old, you goof -”

“Ah,” a hand came up, silencing her as he leaned forward and reached into his back pocket. “I had almost forgotten about this,” the slightest twitch of a smirk made her brow quirk up, curiosity vividly painted across her soft features. His hand came back, clutching a small sketchbook and a ball-point pen. “I knew just the thing to cheer you up, yes?”

Green eyes widened.

“What?” Her voice trembled as shaky hands quickly grasped it from him, flipping through the bare pages. It skipped, pausing against her finger, to reveal his signature elegantly written in the back. She looked up at him as he sat the pen down, wonder flickering through awe-filled eyes and a disbelieving laugh pulling at her hesitant words. “I mean… I – I don’t think I’ve… How?”

Reyes chuckled. “A little birdy told me.”

The smile that danced across her face was enough to make him melt.

They sat in a soft, almost companionable silence as their laughter quieted down, strangely sweet, strangely gentle; A quiet, unspoken feeling hung in the air, tension pulling at the edges as her fingers fiddled with the book in her lap. It was hard for her to breathe, think, the longer they sat there, the most uncontrollable, goofiest grin on her face and -

The soft clearing of his throat broke the silence, catching her attention.

Reyes’ heavily-lidded, honeyed eyes nearly sent a shiver down her spine, the look swirling through pools of deep whiskey holding on to something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It scared her. His hands lingered, hesitated, on his lap, tensing and flexing, almost as if he were fighting against himself, against what he wanted.

“You worried me.”

Her heart skipped a beat, her throat feeling dry. “I -“

A bang on the door made her mouth clamp shut, their gazes snapping over. A heavy silence hung in the air, falling over the room as their bodies tensed, froze; Another bang, three knocks that followed a strange rhythm. The pattern clicked in her brain and she gasped -

"Reyes," wide, scared eyes met surprised, golden ones. She blinked once, twice, before she set the book down and stood. Her voice was just a hair above a whisper, frantic hands grasping his forearms as he followed. “You – You need to leave, _right now_!”

“I know,” his rich voice murmured back, footsteps quiet as they made their way over to the window. Her grip on him tightened when she tripped on a raised tile, twisting and bunching in the fabric of his shirt - He steadied her, their eyes meeting, and something harshly grabbed ahold of her chest, stilling her breathing.

Another bang and a loud yell broke them from their trance. Her heart nearly stopped beating entirely.

“One second,” she called out, hoarse. Fear danced through green eyes as she looked up at him, her hands slowly, lightly trailing up his arms to rest on his chest. He was warm, soft, comforting in a way that made her want time to stand still so that she could be in this moment forever.  _That_ scared her. A slight skip in his heart beneath her palms made her feel weird, off -

Something made him hesitate; A feeling she couldn't put her finger on flickered across his sharp features as he stared down at her, hesitating, hesitating - Their gazes met, connected, and her stomach tensed; A soft breath made his chest fall, relax. Why is he hesitating? What is he doing? Words left her.

Another bang burst through the room and interrupted them, followed by another yell that made her want to curl up, to hide away; Her blood ran cold with fear. He's going to get himself killed if he doesn't leave,  _now_ \- The mere thought of him getting  _hurt_ terrified her to no end.  _That_ scared her even more.

"Reyes," her throat felt full, dry, words not wanting to form. She took in a sharp breath, shaking her head, before gently pushing his chest. “Go!”

The gentlest look flickered across his features as whiskey eyes fell to look at her hands. A beat, a second passed; He reluctantly ducked through the window, disappearing in a flash of vivid browns, rich tans, and deep blacks; It was a stark contrast to the vibrant oranges and reds of Kadara, lovely, strange. Beautiful, even. Her heart skipped a beat. She swallowed thickly, trembling hands brushing loose bits of ginger hair behind her freckled ears as she watched him leave.

It felt… Different, she supposed, watching him leave.

 _Something_ felt different.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know _what_.

Hydraulics hissing filled the room, catching her attention. Doors whooshed open behind her, a familiar krogan quirking up a wary brow as he peered in. “Ryder, you good and shit? Decent is the actual word to use, I guess. Heard some voices in here. Thought you’d lost your mind and decided to go on a rampage or somethin’.”

“Dartak,” Ainsley's breath left her in a rush, numbly wiping her sweaty hands on her legs. “I’m fine, I just – I don’t feel good.”

The most minuscule, most infinitesimal bit of hesitation with the slightest hint of shock flickering in his deep-set eyes when they met her bandaged cheek, hurt in a way that she hadn’t anticipated. He cleared his throat, resting his rifle against his shoulder. “Want me to get a doc?”

“No.”

An awkward silence that followed allowed her to glance around the room. It was sparse, all things considering, for a hospital room. Though, it  _is_ in the Outcast's Headquarters, probably something they could only barely manage to afford – A damp chill hung in the air, clinging to her bones and weighing her down as she took one step after the other back to her bed.

Slight stains dotted across the cool, dark-tiled floor, the tiniest brush of deep rust across the jagged edges. Stark-white walls made her feel caged in; Like a prison, almost, fear crawling up her spine as she sat down on the medbay bed and cleared her throat.

Machines sat behind the white-sheet bed, screens flickering back and forth as they idled. She should probably plug herself back in, the thought crossed her mind, and occasional beeps escaped them as she slowly put them back on. Green eyes trailed down her arms, memorizing the lines of jagged cuts scratched across her pale skin. Her breath hitched. The memory lingered, hesitated, threatening to break her –

Armored footsteps broke her out of her trance. The mattress gave in, sinking under his heavy weight as the krogan sat down beside her, careful, gentle for his kind; His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, a soft grumble rumbling through his chest. He set his gun down on the floor, hands resting on his stubby knees. “What happened?”

It almost sounded as though he cared, a strange softness in his voice.

Ainsley looked at him through the corner of her eyes, reluctant. Her mouth opened and closed, a breath leaving instead of words.

She didn’t answer - She couldn't.

“Ains,” hurt flickered across his scaly face. “We’re friends – Fuck, you know that you can tell me anything! I know I can be a rude ass and -”

“Don't," her voice cracked. "Don't call me 'Ains'. I - I don’t trust you.”

“What?" Shock etched into his voice made her shiver. "Why?”

“I – I just – I don’t trust _you_." A tremble in her voice made her hesitate, words breaking before she cleared her throat. Her careful, cracked composure briefly slipped, breaking apart as her chest heaved and sniffled; Her words fell heavy. "I don’t – I don’t know. I don’t trust _anyone_ right now - I don't know, I don't...”

“What happened?”

Her mind stopped, snapped at the thought, the memory; A snag, a glitch in the matrix. Green eyes slowly widened, trembling lips falling open as no words managed to leave her, her scared gaze focused on her feet; She looked over at him, tears pricking the corners of her eyes and rolling down freckled cheeks. Her lips pressed together and her jaw tensed.

“I – I c-can’t,” a crack in her voice started her descent. Bruised hands pressed over her mouth, lines hanging loosely over her forearms as she shook her head and her chest heaved. Arms wrapped around her body before she could stop them, curling into herself as she broke, grief overtaking. “I – I can’t, I can’t, I c-can’t –“

* * *

  
“There was a device left behind in the caves,” an ominous hint pulled at his voice, low, as the memory danced through his mind and darkened his features. He cleared his throat, the soft clink of glass meeting metal as he sat his cup down, whiskey sloshing around the edges. A hand ran through jet black hair as he took in a quick breath. “I want you to use it on them.”

_“What is it?”_

“A tool used to brand livestock, I believe. Something along those lines.” Whiskey eyes idly observed the nails on his hand as he spoke, almost sounding disinterested at best as he watched his hand turn, twist. He sighed. “Whether they survive this interrogation or not, I really could care less.”

_“You got it. Want me to go all out?”_

“You know I do! Have fun, lose yourself in it.” A soft chuckle danced behind his words, the thought of them getting what they deserved, tenfold more than what happened to _her_ , sent relief coursing through his veins. If he thought about it too much, his blood nearly boiled, jaw tensing, before he forced himself to relax. “Don’t forget to send me the pictures.”

_“Of course, boss.”_

The tap of a button shut his omnitool off with a soft, gentle chime. Reyes cleared his throat, leaning back against the leather couch in his stark-red room. Softly muffled music pulsed through the walls of Tartarus, cascading down his spine in an alluring melody that ricocheted through his brain, slowly numbing him from the inside out.

Unfocused eyes stared across the room, lingering on his terminal. The first thing that came to mind was her, an urge to send her an email; To see how she is, if she's doing okay, if she needs his help, to rant, to talk, scream, cry, get it out, before last night's events flickered through his mind, and -

He wanted to feel numb.

What happened back in Outcast Headquarters’ medbay only reaffirmed his suspicions, clues clicking together and shining a light on something that made his skin crawl. The warm touch of her hands against his chest, lingering, a faint hint still dancing across the fabric of his shirt made his hand come up to meet it. A cold realization made him irritably sigh, fingers scratching an unsteady pattern over the warmth. 

He cared about her.

About Ainsley.

This woman who’s built a name for herself from the dirt up after being spit on by her own people, much like him, hitting too close to home for his own comfort; Someone who’s worked hard to get to where she is now, only to have _this_ happen to her, only for something so _shitty_ to happen to her that he just couldn’t wrap his brain around it.

She didn’t deserve it, any of it - And it broke his heart.

A soft knock on his doors ripped him from his thoughts, this strange trance he'd gotten himself caught up in cracking. Sad, golden eyes flickered over to look at the closed doors, swallowing down a rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He needed to pull himself back together,  _now_.

“Reyes?” A softly feminine voice murmured, muffled, from behind the door. "I do believe that we're long overdue for a visit, now."

Whiskey eyes slowly narrowed, straining to hear her over the pounding music; Oh - He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he sat up. A moment passed before both of his hands trailed through his hair, fixing it, and he blinked away a sudden onslaught of the slightest hint of tears. “Doors are open.”

Hydraulics hissed and doors parted to reveal an angaran woman strutting in, hands perched on her hips and a smile on her lips when she caught his gaze. Pale purples mixed with very light, soft green on her skin and were dotted by white freckles, framed by big, galaxy-like blue eyes. “Lovely morning so far, wouldn’t you say?”

“Not so much,” he curtly replied as she crossed the distance to his couch, sitting on a metal chair adjacent from him. A soft sigh left him as his ankles crossed, his nose twitching. “Javek and I found Ainsley last night.”

"You did?" Keema gasped, her hand covering her mouth. “Where was she?”

“In an angaran colony deep within the Badlands. Didn’t even look like we were still on Kadara over there, honestly. It had an almost ethereal beauty about it.” A dark brow quirked up as his fingers steepled in front of his face, elbows resting on his knees. He couldn't sit still, almost. “All these holographic plants, trees - Things of that nature.”

A slight pause made her bit back a grin; His eyes rolled.

“No pun intended,” he added with the briefest smirk, a quirk of his hand. “Of course.”

Keema snorted.

“I see – I do believe that you’re referring to the Aravael, yes?” She softly smiled, hands folding in her lap. “It’s the village that I was born in. It truly is a beautiful, gorgeous place - Probably one of the only prominent angaran settlements on Kadara thus far. The holographic plants are just one of my many favorite things about it - They like to be different, I suppose. I still have a sister and a brother there, too -”

The worry in his golden eyes made her hesitate as she met his gaze, her expression slightly faltering. He looked... Sad, strangely enough, a near kicked-puppy look softening his sharp features and tugging on her heart. She frowned. “Is she okay?”

“No.”

The slightest flicker of a brief, abrupt smile on her face made him feel unsettled; It quickly faded into a deeper frown, concern etched into her bright eyes. She leaned forward, hands folding between her knees. If he hadn't been watching her, he would've missed it, brief, fleeting. “What do you mean, ‘No’? What exactly happened?”

A mental note tucked itself away in his mind, for later. Much later, when he can focus on it.

“We found her in a jail cell deep underground," Reyes ran a hand through his dark hair, clearing his throat as he stood. "Restrained by magnetic locks to an old-Earth style torture chair." His rich voice grew dark, angry; Malice bit at the edges, slowly filling it with venom. "They’d been keeping her captive and beating her senseless.”

“By the time we got there, she was cut on virtually every inch of her body; Her clothing was ripped to shreds." A shaky breath left him, aimless steps leading him to the room's closed doors. His features contorted, thick brows furrowing and eyes narrowing; A glance over his shoulder revealed sad eyes. "There was so much blood, Keema. I’ve _seen_ a lot of blood before, and this was… A lot.”

"Reyes -"

Dark hair fell out of place as he shook his head, interrupting her. He cleared his throat, fingers tightly knotting and twisting his collar in an iron-tight grip that made his knuckles bulge. “The jail wasn't well-guarded at all. It took us no time at all to find her cell, and when we stepped inside, there was - She…”

“She…” Hesitation bit at him, making him freeze, tense. A shoulder hitched up, his back to the woman, tension eating away at him before he grit out the words with so much _disgust_ , so much _anger_ , that his skin crawled. The sting of tears made his golden eyes squeeze shut; Guilt. He felt guilt. “Most of her face from the left cheek down was burned off.”

“No,“ the disbelief in her voice made him feel cold, hanging in the air. “No, you can’t be serious -”

“I am.” Reyes swallowed thickly, a slight shake of his head; A rough sigh escaped him. His eyes squeezed shut when her ruined face flickered through his thoughts - The guilt very nearly swallowed him alive. A slight crack in his voice hung heavily on his words. “I wish that I wasn’t. Our men were _supposed_ to be watching her, Keema. They were _supposed_ to keep her  _safe_."

“We need to - Did you get their names?" Heels clicked the floor as she stood, fabric rustling behind him and making his body tense. "Who did this?”

“Dorado and Rekjna.”

“No," eyes widened, meeting his cold gaze as he glanced over his shoulder. "And you're serious? No - You're certain?”

“I’m _always_ serious, Keema. They admitted it.”

“Well, did you take care of them?”

“I sent some of our people after them before you came in.” Reyes sighed, feet pacing a line into the floor. Hands rubbed up his face, through his hair, as irritation danced down his spine and nails dug into the warm skin of his bare neck. “One of them tried to convince me that the Charlatan was a woman.”

“Oh.” Keema’s voice fell flat, cracking, fading. It sounded off, weird, almost; A strange air fell and bounced between them, tense, before she cleared her throat. “Is that so?”

A thick brow quirked up at her tone. If he'd been paranoid, he'd say she sounded suspicious, guilty, almost. Strange. His hand pressed against the closed door, palm laid flat against the cool metal as whiskey eyes glared down at his boots. A quick breath left him, eyes searching the muted array of browns.

“Yes,” his brows furrowed, resisting the urge to glance back at her, “it is.”

“How strange is that?” Her curt laughter made his blood boil, a match starting the flame. It danced, rushing behind her words. “What, was one of them posing as the Charlatan themselves? Oh, this is just too good – What does your kind call it again?" Brows furrowed as a finger tapped her chin in thought, irritating him. "Ah - This is ‘gold’!”

“That’s what I’m assuming.” Reyes cleared his throat, pushing away from the door with a sigh. He chose to ignore her brisque remark - It unsettled him. “Either way, I’m looking into it before it goes too far. I’ve already sent a few of our men to interrogate some of our people that’ve had a few faltering opinions of me.”

“Good – That’s what I was going to suggest.” Keema slowly approached him, her hand meeting his shoulder. It briefly hiked up, just the tiniest bit, before he forced it to relax. “Want me to look into it as well? Lynx just so happens to be _very_  talented at information digging.”

“Yeah," he shrugged off her touch. "Do that.”

* * *

_  
“Ainsley.”_

His monotonous voice took her by surprise; Cool, even, comforting in a way she couldn't put her finger on. A soft clink against metal made her breath hitch, trembling hands tapping into her omnitool to secure the connection through her comms. Fingertips tapped one button then another, before she remembered –

He’s in her head - Sam.

His voice is inside of her head.

Eyes slowly widened, a tremor settling deep within her bones. It - It psyched her out, freaked her out in a way that she couldn't describe, couldn't think of the words for - 

_“Are you all right?”_

The reflection of her bandaged face glinting through the orange haze made her heart stop beating, a chill twisting up and grabbing ahold of her spine; Mute panic grasped at her brain and she tore her gaze away, a shaky breath leaving her. A hand came up, gently touching the stained bandages, and her throat squeezed shut.

Shit.

Bloodshot eyes looked up at the tiled ceiling of her hospital room as her hands lamely fell, meeting white bedsheets while her omnitool flickered off. A sting burned her temples; Exhaustion bit and pulled at the edges of her tired body, making her bones feel heavy, aching. Machines blipped behind her, intravenous lines twisting and trailing from her wrist, connecting her and holding her hostage.

A prisoner - Like a prisoner.

She couldn’t leave.

_“I detect immense distress from your system’s readings.”_

“I’m,” a crack in her voice nearly gave it away, the shakiest breath escaping her when she looked down at the needle nestled in the crook of her elbow. Blood slowly flowed through it, tired eyes following the length of the clear, red-filled tube; It met the machine beside her, metal poles screwed together and holding up the bag of saline. She tasted salt, words faltering -

She couldn’t leave.

"I'm..." The thought crawled its way into her mind, ripping away her sanity shred by shred until her jaw locked up; She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, a ridge pulling her body taut, tense, until lips trembled as she tried to speak; A quiet groan came out instead, and -

Sterility filled her senses, numbing her with dread and crashing her back down into reality, and the urge to scratch it away rose. A chill ran up her spine, cold, as she looked around. A shoulder hiked up, the other one joining, and the mere idea of her body made her uncomfortable when she looked down. "I'm fine."

_“Ainsley.”_

Dysphoria. A reminder of hard times, haunting and weighing her down; Hard to breathe, think; To live her life on a normal, daily basis without -

No, it was dissociation: The familiar hint of pins and needles traced a line from her feet up to her calves, buzzing and static ringing in her ears, but there; But, her body didn't feel like hers. It didn't. Not real, not there, watching it move from above. It couldn't be –

What is it, then? What is she feeling right now? She has no idea.

Her free hand wiped at her nose, pausing; It quickly rubbed up her face, a soft sniffle breaking her words at the mere thought, the slightest hint of those two words. She cleared her throat, irritably scratching just behind her ear, uncontrollable, uncontrollable. It - She thought she had escaped _it_ , her breath hitching. She wanted to itch her skin off, away, anything, something - “I’m fine, Sam.”

_“You do not sound ‘fine’, Ainsley. I do believe that you are currently exhibiting the signs of -”_

“Sam, I’m _okay_ -”

 _“Nor do you sound ‘okay’, not even in the least bit.”_ The way that he had said it, almost abrupt, quick, despite his monotonous, even tone, made her want to curl into herself. A slight tug, a gentle blip pulling at his voice made him sound... Worried for her, honestly, if she were willing to reach that far.  _"I believe that you are -"_

"Good." Ainsley scoffed, fingers tapping an unsteady, brisk rhythm against her legs. A desire to change the subject nearly overwhelmed her. “I'm good. What are you, a shrink?”

_“I can be.”_

“It," she hesitated, rolling her eyes. Her head tilted down, staring at her lap before she cleared her throat and sighed. "I - I don't really know, I guess. Like, it seems incredibly weird for me to be, basically, talking to myself, right now. 'Cause it feels like I'm just... Talking to myself and not someone else.”

_“You are talking to me, an AI that has an implant linking you with my connection in SAM Node, not yourself. Unless you wish for me to pretend to be you, so that way you would be, indeed, talking to yourself, which I would be willing to do if it makes you feel better.”_

“Jesus,” a sharp breath made her chest rise and fall. Green eyes wandered over to the sketchbook resting on the black stand beside the stark-white bed she was on; Her lips slightly parted at the sight of the marbled cover, a soft gasp -   

She paused.

The feeling she got from looking at it was… Weird, strange. Aloof, even, if she were willing to go that far. It was brief, fleeting, but there, fading at the edges before she could even put a finger on what it is.

It –

It was… This feeling was almost akin to... Excitement, adoration. It's something she isn't accustomed to. Not for a while, not since -

Ainsley grasped the spine before her thoughts could wander too far, picking the book up and crossing her bent legs. Fingertips gently trailed down the black cover, the smooth, yet textured marble comforting, relaxing. She cleared her throat and opened it, watching the thick, parchment-like pages flutter under her touch.

The sound of muffled paper flipping was comforting, warming; A familiarity coursed through her veins and relaxed her, spreading through her body. Shoulders fell slack, watching as shadowed white flickered and –

It reached the end and paused, falling open to reveal a familiar handwriting vividly etched into the book’s back.

> _My dearest Ainsley,_
> 
> _I know this book will be well-loved by you. Perhaps it may even contain your next masterpiece; Anything is possible, yes?_  
>    
>  _Either way, I can’t wait to see what you’ll make. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve stolen your rather magnificent masterpiece of yours truly while I was snooping around your apartment._
> 
> _It was simply calling my name, of course. Not to mention how you've managed to capture my beautiful essence so lovingly in it._
> 
> _With love,  
>  _ _Reyes_

Dearest? Ainsley swallowed thickly, green eyes slowly narrowing as she read the last words over and over. With...

With love?

A knock on the door broke her train of thoughts; She slammed the book shut and held it against her chest, protecting it, hiding it away; Her own little secret, something for her, and only for her, to keep. Hesitation bit at her, a tense in her shoulders making her breath hitch as she looked over at the doors.

"Who -" Reluctance made her voice waver, broken by the clearing of her throat. “What do you want?”

A familiar head peeked in as hydraulics hissed, doors slowly parting to reveal Dartak standing there. His usual, mean, little glower was almost comforting, her body relaxing. “Don't worry - I'm not here to behead you or some shit. Sloane wanted to me to tell you when we’re gonna be holding that trial - Your trial, I mean.”

“Oh,” the softest breath left her in a rush, chased by a brief, quiet giggle. Familiar, someone familiar and welcoming - She'd take it, anything, at this point. Relief, anxiety, washed away and melted into a strange, giddy happiness, something she couldn't contain; It was almost an unbearable feeling for her. “Oh, okay. Good - Thank God.”

“You wanna walk with me?” A brow quirked up, his thumb pointing to the hallway behind him; The rumble of his deep voice conflicted her, green eyes flickering from the book held against her chest to the krogan stood in the doorway. When she paused, he grinned. “You’re allowed to as long as you’re with one of us. You know, the usual guards and shit.”

A second of hesitation fell over her before she nodded. Near-trembling hands carefully sat the sketchbook down under white sheets, tucking it away, before she threw her legs over the side of the bed to stand. A tug on her arm made her pause, looking down to catch her intravenous line hanging. "Oh -"

"Can you get it out?" Armored footsteps clinked as he walked over to her, brows furrowing. "Or do you need me to go get a doc? Or nurse, whatever."

"I can do it," fumbling fingers got to work on peeling away the medical tape. "Gimme a second."

"Wait, you can do it?" Dartak snorted, an incredulous look dancing across his deep-set features. "What, you sneak out from hospitals before?"

"Jesus," Ainsley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, a few times. I'm a daredevil, don't you know?"

That earned a hearty snort from the krogan, his arms folding across his chest. "Ha! Sure you are, Ains."

"And..." A soft sigh escaped her as the needle came loose, the slightest splatter of blood leaving before she could stop it; She looked around, grasping a roll of gauze off of a stand nearby and bunching it up to press against the crook of her elbow. A grin curled the corners of her lips when she looked up at him. "There."

"Nice. Ready to go?" Darktak smirked, nodding towards the door. She airily hummed, their steps falling into sync as they started walking. The hallway was long, typical for the Headquarters; Room after room sat across from each other, white walls underlined by dark tiles passing by, before they walked through a set of open doors and she gasped -

Ceilings gave way to a curved arch, towering over them and revealing walls made of clear glass. Technology hummed in small sections through flat, metal railing lining the lower-center of them. The richly orange-red horizon of Kadara loomed over their heads while dark tiles lined under their feet, stunning in its own way.

Wow.

"Don't think you've seen this area before," the krogan started after a moment, reaching out to steady her when she stumbled; Her eyes were wide with awe. "It's a hallway connecting the hospital to the Headquarters, kinda like a maintenance shaft thingy. The boss figured this would be a nice addition for the guards to walk through when they have some downtime."

"It  _is_ pretty sweet."

"Yep, it is." Rich, booming laughter broke his words and echoed against the glass, dancing around them. It made her smile, effortlessly. "So, about your trial - Sloane was talking about setting it for next week." 

"Next week? That's... Really soon, wow." Ainsley swallowed thickly, watching endless, clear walls pass by; Their steps led them closer to a doorway sat at the edge, outlined by the familiar color of white, black and grey. "I thought she would've wanted to wait a little while longer, you know? Gather more evidence against me, I guess."

Dartak's step paused, his brows furrowing as he gently grasped her forearm. "She isn't against you."

"I hope that's true," their eyes met. Reluctance and anxiety swirled through her deep, green eyes; She swallowed thickly. "Let's keep going." 

"What, you glad you're able to leave your room?" His hand brushed against her lower back, afraid to give her their usual friendly pushes; Ainsley rolled her eyes, weakly punching his arm. He smiled, shaking his head. "If I were you, I'd be glad. 'Fore you woke up, you'd been out for a solid week."

"Wait," her jaw dropped. A falter in her steps made him pull her arm, legs falling back into sync with his. "I was out for a solid week? Why did nobody tell me this?"

"Well, from what I'd heard, it was mostly a medically-induced coma, I guess. You had alotta oblivion in your system and the docs were scared you'd go into shock from withdrawal." Something soft and warm touched his rough hand, catching his attention. He glanced down, watching as hers wrapped around his, and a gentle squeeze made their fingers lace. He sighed. "Everyone was worried about you, y'know."

Fingertips unraveled as he flicked his wrist up, the orange glow of his omnitool casting a wash of colors over them. She fell quiet, watching him tap the sequencer into the program, and the doors hissed open.

"I guess that I'm -" Words came to an abrupt stop, her mouth falling agape as green eyes made contact with a figure across the room; A clear, glass-covered walkway curved around Sloane's quarters, just behind her throne. It gave them an aerial view, revealing the woman in question sat in her chair while a group of people stood around her, aliens mixed and voices overlapping.

Tears burned the corners of her eyes as a person stepped out from the group, familiar, familiar, her stomach dropping; A wash of ginger hair akin to hers curled around his jawline, brushed back to reveal freckled, pale skin and bright, green eyes, just like hers, exactly like hers. Tall and lanky, his mouth moving vividly, reminiscent of endless days spent in debate back in high school, and -

It's - It's him.

Lukas.


	7. flaws

It almost ruined her, the mere sight of him.

Panic shot through her like a bullet, quick and piercing in such a way that it numbed her down to her core; Urgency, urgency, a desperation to move, to scream, to do  _something_  swallowed her alive and muted her senses. Green eyes widened as tears pricked and blurred her vision, trembling hands balling into fists and a breath that couldn’t seem to leave catching in her chest –

It hurt.

Her mouth opened and closed, words unable to leave and replaced by a strange noise that seemed to drag, broken by gasps.

She hasn’t seen him in  _years_ –

The very thought broke her.

Tightly-wound fists slammed against the glass, her voice breaking and cracking as she frantically tried so, so hard to scream his name, to call out to him, anything, something,  _please_  - Just for him to look up. That’s all she wanted - She just wants him to look up, to see her, for her to see his face again. Her surroundings became dim, quietly lit compared to the bright overcast of the sun’s blinding rays shining down in the room below like a symphony that seemed to taunt her.

That hurt even more.

“Lukas!” Nails dug into the pale-tan skin at the nape of her neck, a chill rushing up her spine. His name seemed to hang on the tip of her tongue, the very saying of it making her voice waver. Blood stained the pink of her nails as they ripped away, carving a jagged and messed-up line, to squeeze into fists, nails digging into the palm of her hand. They punched the glass, over and over and over and –

The residual shock from each impact danced in ever-turning pirouettes across her forearms and down her spine, dizzying her vision and jostling her brain, making her near-delirious. “Lukas?!”

Her brain barely registered hands that didn’t feel real roughly grasping her shoulders, trying to pull her away, to stop her brain from its destined short-circuiting; Her sharp nails dug into the scale-covered skin of his palms, a scream ripping from her throat, raw, burning a line through her body as she cried and cried and  _cried_  –

“He can’t –“ A familiar, deep voice that seemed to tremble broke through the sound barrier of her ringing ears, overwhelming, overwhelming; It flickered in and out, and she struggled to focus on it. “…can’t hear you, Ains!”

It chirped in, finally - Clear, clarity, rushing through her like a tidal wave, crash after crash, sense after sense returning to her; Wide eyes looked back as his hands tightened on her small shoulders and the sight of the krogan slowly unblurred. The look on his face, shock and surprise intermingling, made her fall numb when she turned to face him.

“He can’t hear you, Ainsley!” His voice was muted, skirting on the edges of her barely-composed consciousness, breaking the silence that seemed to swallow the hallway they stood in. “This is one-sided glass – We can see them, but they can’t see or hear us. You need to stop before you ruin your hands  _even_   _more_.”

Her composure cracked with a trembling breath. “I –“

“Ains,” the pity in his eyes made her feel sick. She hated pity – She never wanted pity, a poison that seemed to sting her through every step of her life. He took in a quick breath, sparing a glance around the glass-encased hallway, before taking a step closer to her. His hands trailed down from her shoulders, smoothing across her bruised and scratched forearms, before landing over the purple-stained palms of her hands. “Listen to me, okay?”

She shook her head. She couldn’t. “D-Dartak, I –“

“No, listen to me. He –“

“Dartak,” her words were cracked, broken, filled with disbelief. They rushed out of her in a never-ending stream that burned her throat until it was sore, goosebumps chilling her freckled skin. “That’s my fucking  _brother_! My – My  _best_   _friend_ , my twin that I haven’t seen in over  _six-hundred years._ All because the Initiative decided to be so  _fucking_   _shitty_  because of the stain on our family name that they separated us and put us in different arks for our long ass sleep without so much as a second thought, just to vindicate us! He – He – I -”

“Ainsley –“

“I didn’t get to see him before we were frozen.” Sadness ruined her voice - She wanted to scream, to yell until she couldn’t anymore. Something, anything, pent-up anger and frustration threatening to rip her heart in half. Hands grasped his to rip them off her body, stumbling back a frantic step while her mind raced, thoughtless; They grasped handfuls of her messy, ginger hair, squeezing and squeezing until her eyes nearly bulged.

Scared eyes spared a quick glimpse to the sharp drop below, widening when they processed the sight of her brother and his crew starting to leave. She gasped, a spike in her heart rate enough to overwhelm her senses. “Oh, my God," she didn't know what to do, her feet moving without thought. "I need - I’m going to go see him  _now -_ ”  

"Wait!" A grasp on her elbow made her stop in her tracks. “You can’t.”

She yanked her arm free, determination set on her light features. “I’m  _going_  to –“

“You  _can’t_ , Ainsley!”

“Why?!” Her voice rose into an abrupt yell, ricocheting against the glass walls and echoing around them, before she could stop herself. She sharply twisted around to meet his gaze, her nostrils flaring and her jaw tensing, lips quivering. The look in his eyes said it all in a way that words couldn’t, worry intermingling with irritation that was enough to make her skin crawl.

A soft pause fell between them, Dartak’s lips pressing together. Disbelief flickered through his dark, deep-set eyes, hesitating, before his shoulders fell in utter defeat. “You’re under  _house arrest_ , Ryder." The slip of that name hurt, just a little. "That means you can’t talk to anyone that isn’t a guard and you can’t leave your cell. I had to plan around routes to get you this little breather walk, and -”

“I,” a finger trembling with anger roughly pointed in his face while she took a sudden step forward. Their faces were mere inches apart, a strange feeling akin to stubbornness nearly igniting a flame behind her words. “Don’t fucking care!”

“Wait!” He grasped her forearm when she twisted away from him - A tense in her shoulders made her pause, allowing him to pull her back before she could take a single step away. “Listen, I didn’t wanna be the one to tell you this, but…” A shuddering breath escaped him, catching her gaze. It made him hesitate, the sadness in her eyes weighing him down. “We have orders to shoot you on sight if you try to leave.”

“What?”

“ _Sloane’s_  orders.”

Her heart dropped. It felt like poison, souring her taste. “I – I don’t understand. I thought she –“

“She’s been gathering evidence against you. I’ve caught her going from person to person, asking them if they’ve seen you do anything suspicious and having them write down falsified reports.” A sigh left him, his words falling softer, quieter, as he leaned in, their foreheads nearly touching. “She's forging most of them.”

“She - She…” Words entirely left her. Ainsley shook her head in pure, utter disbelief, her lips slightly parting in muted shock. She took a step back, ginger brows furrowing while green eyes briefly narrowed. It hurt, in a way she hadn’t anticipated. “Wait, she really – She - She's really doing that?”

“Yeah.”

A crack in her composure made the back of her hand press against her mouth, silencing a sob that broke free.

“Rounded up all of the guards for a meeting after she and Kaetus left your room earlier.” A hand ran over his carapace, steadying his words and willing himself to continue. “Told us that we’re supposed to shoot and kill you on sight if you tried anything funny. Or, if you tried to escape. 'No mercy', were her exact words.”

Her heart broke.

She trusted Sloane –

No, she didn’t just trust her. She's listened to every word that she’s ever said to her and ate it up like it was what she needed to survive, what she  _needed_  to live. And it was one thing to listen, but it was another to be inspired, to be motivated by someone like her, watching her every move with starry-eyed wonder as if she were a child watching their mentor.

Sloane almost reminded her of her father, stoic and proud -

It felt stupid.  _She_  felt stupid. The fact that she had put her trust in someone like her, knowing her history, knowing every gritty, dirty detail of her story, yet still willing to give her the benefit of doubt, despite the odds stacking up against her, made her stomach drop. Trembling lips pressed together, arms crossing over her stomach as she looked away, tear-filled eyes squeezing shut –

Disappointment. 

The sour taste in the back of her mouth was disappointment. Swallowed by hurt, more than anything else.

She’s an idiot.

“Maybe,” it felt useless for her to fight for her, “maybe she just said that to, to –“

“She didn’t just say that to appease everyone, Ainsley.” Dartak’s hands reached out for hers, only – She took a step back. His hands hung lamely in the air before they fell. “She meant it. Most of us said that it wasn’t necessary, that we know you wouldn’t fight against us or try to escape, but she said that she didn’t care.”

A soft breath left her. “I… I don’t believe you.”

“You gotta believe me, Ains!” A sense of urgency grasped his voice in a way that unsettled her. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I was the one who told you about the whole trial thing to begin with, remember? Back on the ride to the Port after raiding the dead drop! Why would I lie about something like this  _now_?!”

“I… I don’t know.” It rushed out of her before she could stop it, a wave never-ending - Green eyes slowly widened, her mind lost to panic that seemed to swallow her alive. Gasps slowly broke her words, her shoulders hiking up with each wave and her fingers tangling in her hair. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t – I – I don’t –“

Rough-textured hands grasped her shoulders, stilling her frantic pacing. Their eyes met, silent tears tumbling down her cheeks, and a moment hung in the air.

A sniffle made her look away. His voice fell soft, quiet; It was so gentle that she almost didn’t feel worthy of it. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m gonna help you through this, okay? I’m gonna keep you safe. Let me know what you want me to tell your brother.”

“I don’t want to  _tell_  him anything – I just – I just really, really want to h-hug him - ” A sharp breath ripped from her throat as a cold realization pricked her skin, pulling away from his touch while tears overwhelmed her. Her hand touched her bandaged cheek, the memory lingering, and she cracked. “He – He – He can’t see – See my face. He – He can’t see my face, what if he – What if he –“

“He – Lukas can’t see me like this,” a shuddering gasp made her skin crawl. Her knees buckled, giving out as sobs ruined her - Arms surrounded her before she could melt, before she could completely break down, crushing her back into meaningless reality while her brain short-circuited over and over; A wire, broken, sparking. “With – with my face, I – I can’t –“

* * *

_  
“Lukas.”_

The stead-fast, monotonous blip of the artificial intelligent’s voice through their private channel startled him from his focus. A brief moment of shock faltered his steps, the rush of his crew passing by barely registering in his brain; The familiar wash of lovely purple mixed with the faintest hint of blue and the softest splash of white made his eyes focus, catching the slightest hint of worry swirling through galaxy-like eyes.

“Ryder?” Jaal asked softly, his brows furrowing. The deep timbre of his voice relaxed him. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, I’m…” Lukas slowly shook his head, offering Jaal a meek smile. “I’m good. I – I just need to take a breather for a second. You guys go on ahead, okay? Sam said that he needs to talk to me about something.”

“If you say so,” Vetra hesitantly nodded, patting the ginger’s shoulder while she passed by. When the angara hesitated to move, standing steadfast and stubborn, she grasped his forearm, careful not to recoil from the spurt of bioelectricity dancing on the surface of his skin; The slightest shift of her mandibles flaring made him fall into step without a word, an irritated grumble fading away as they disappeared in a flash of color.

 _“Lukas, I need to bring something to your attention. ”_ If he wanted to reach, it almost sounded as though Sam were worried; The softest bit of a wobble and the quietest waver in his normally even voice only made him falter, his heart dropping to pool at his feet the longer he stood there in a silence that seemed never-ending -

That scared him.

He cleared his throat. “Hit me with it, Sam.”

_“I would suggest heading to a more private area for this discussion.”_

“Oh.” A shaky breath left him, wide, green eyes glancing around to realize – He still stood within the Outcasts' Headquarters, an infinite pair of eyes watching his every move. His breath hitched. Lukas nodded, hands balling into fists before his gaze met the doors and he took off, footsteps echoing against metal. “Okay, give me a second here.”

The moment he stepped through the open doors that led out from the Outcast’s Headquarters, his heart nearly sank. Dread, almost; A numb nod made his lips press together, his feet aimlessly guiding his body over to an off-set, metal-entwined balcony, just barely out of sight, out of mind, from the hustle and bustle of the marketplace that seemed to brim with an onslaught of noises intermingling.

A breath-taking view of the sharp drop to Kadara's badlands below made him hesitate - Endless nooks and valleys winding in never-ending oranges and tans were brightly lit and over-saturated by a blinding wash from the immense sun of Govorkam; Mountains rose high, higher than he ever thought possible, dotted with exotic trees that seemed like coral and intricate desert-like flora, in such an array of impossible color that it astounded him.

Kadara could’ve been a beautiful place, given time and effort. The monoliths, once dealt with, will reveal parts of it none would believe, he just knew it.

Lukas grasped the obsidian-like railing, savoring the cool of iced metal against the air’s heavy humidity, before steeling himself. “Hit me with it.”

_“Ainsley is alive.”_

Goosebumps ran down his skin, tickling him in a cascading breath that numbed him. His grip on the metal poles tightened, a cold feeling akin to shock pooling in his stomach and sending a chill rushing down his spine. His heart stuttered on an unsteady beat, a breath hitched in his chest that just couldn’t seem to escape. He could barely speak, even. “What?”

_“I was able to reconnect to my implant installed in her after you and Alec had been taken out of your cryogenic pods. After the rebellions on the Nexus, Ainsley was exiled. She has been living on Kadara for the past two years, working as a guard for the Outcasts, under Sloane Kelly’s command. It is also apparent that she is working for the Collective on the side, acting as an inside agent.”_

“What? Are you – What? Are you serious right now?! This is a really, really cruel joke, Sam.” Ginger hair tumbled over his eyes as he fervently shook his head. A hand came up to brush it away, taking in a sharp breath. “She wouldn’t… No, that's not possible. I - I haven’t seen her in -”

_“I'm afraid that I am not joking. Your twin sister is alive – I have been communicating with her over one of my encrypted side-channels over the past few weeks; I've managed to hardwire her connection, despite having a block on her implant's sensors after having been deactivated due to her being exiled. She is currently residing in a room in the Outcasts' Medbay.”_

“A medbay? Why?”

_“This will be difficult to explain. Perhaps it would be best for you to seek out Mr. Vidal.”_

“Reyes?" Lukas shook his head in pure disbelief. Hands ran through light hair before they vividly gestured, ginger brows knitted together in confusion as he began to listlessly pace. "What, you mean that guy I met at Kralla’s earlier? I don’t get it, Sam. Why do I need to talk to  _him,_ of all people? What could he possibly know about this? If anything, wouldn't it be more beneficial for me to -”

 _“The best way to sum up their relationship is that they are well-known acquaintances._ _I would say that they are friends, but they have not known each other long enough to be considered one in societal standards."_ A brief pause in his words could've seemed like hesitation on his end; It almost sounded as though he cleared his throat, stalling, even. _ _"_ He aided in her escape from a hostage situation in a cave system only a week ago.”_

“A who - What?!”

_“As I said, it would be best for you to speak with Mr. Vidal.”_

* * *

  
The last few hiccups faded from her body, sniffles breaking through trembling breaths as she wiped at her tear-stained eyes. Ainsley felt exhausted, tired; Her body was beyond numb, the pain medication given to her finally kicking in after a long, painful hour that seemed to drag and drag.

Bloodshot eyes watched birds fly about outside of her room’s window, her legs pulled up and her knees pressed to her chest on its sill. Their soft chirping managed to breach the thick glass of the window, soft and lovely in a way that made her heart ache; Yearn, almost, to be out and free amongst them.

She's only been here for a week, and she was already feeling the tell-tale signs of stir-craze. 

And yet, all she could think about was Lukas.

The thought paired well with the sudden onslaught of crippling loneliness that seemed to ebb away at her mind, panic threatening to overwhelm her; It felt like an old friend, pulling her down into the darkness. She glanced over at the door, her heart feeling heavy as her thoughts crossed to her explosion on Dartak -

He didn’t deserve it.

It happens – When she gets in that mindset, she can’t escape, thoughts clawing and digging their way into the very fiber of her being in a way that she can’t contain, can’t handle; Overwhelming her until all she can feel is that, this surge of despair and panic intertwining in such a manner that she can’t breathe, can’t think until -

One thought seemed to roll over the other, over and over, rushing through her mind like an endless wave before she could stop herself. Anxiety danced behind each thought, lacing it with a spike in her throat that made it hard to breathe; Green eyes snapped over to her sketchbook sat on her bed, the thought of the signature etched into the back of it making her breathe, elegant handwriting intricately carved into the backing making her feel… Relaxed, almost.

The phrase crossed her mind, warming her heart -

_With love._

She still didn’t get it.

_“Ainsley.”_

She nearly jumped at the artificial intelligent's voice. It’s something that she’ll probably never be used to, her heart ringing in her ears. “Yes?”

_“You have a new message from Mr. Vidal.”_

“Oh.” Green eyes glanced down at her wrist, her brows slowly furrowing as the familiar orange-lined hue danced in endless circles around her freckled forearm. It reflected against the window, piquing from the glass in bright, cascading triangles down her legs. She cleared her throat. “I guess I didn’t hear the notification.”

_"You would not have. Your omni-tool's connection was compromised after you had left your room - There was a bug attached to your omni-tool to track when you send and receive messages, also linking your location and sending it to a terminal within the Headquarters – I have managed to disable it for the most part, allowing you and Mr. Vidal communications, only.”_

“O-Oh.”  _That_  made her chest ache, a quiver in her lips making her press them together. She didn't deserve this. “Thank you, Sam.”

_“Of course, Ainsley. I believed that speaking with him would make you feel better.”_

A soft sniffle only accentuated the sudden wave of anxiety rolling through her stomach. Her wrist lifted, fingers tapping into the opaque, holographic screen of her omni-tool to access her email; One scroll followed by the tap of a button gave way to an email with no subject - The lovely familiarity of his handle made her smile.

> _From: Reyes_  
>  _To: Ainsley_
> 
> _I hope prison life isn’t treating you too horribly just yet. I mean, you've only just got there._

She scoffed, standing up. It was almost difficult for her to focus, fingers pausing for the briefest moment to allow her to cross the distance to her bed. She fell back with a sigh, recoiling at the slightest give in her stomach before it pulled taut.

> _From: Ainsley  
>  _ _To: Reyes_
> 
> _Oh, it’s bad. Really bad. I’ve had to eat **prison food**. What kind of crockshit is that?_

A smile couldn't seem to find it's way away from her lips, nearly cracking her freckled face.

> _From:  Reyes  
>  To: Ainsley_
> 
> _Oh, the horror. Dare I ask if you’ve had any time in between moping around to test out that handy little sketchbook I got you?_

She glanced over at the book in question. A ginger brow quirked up, teeth worrying her bottom lip; She wasn't sure if she wanted to show him what she'd managed to get out. Perhaps...

> _From: Ainsley  
>  To: Reyes_
> 
> _Maybe._

A long pause made her sigh. It seemed as if he –

_Blip._

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _Maybe…? Don’t leave me in suspense here, Ainsley. You’re killing me._

If she had rolled her eyes any harder, they probably would’ve fallen right out of her head. A long, drawn-out sigh left her as she flipped open the book, idly chewing on her bottom lip before a smile promptly curled the edges of her mouth –

It wasn’t her best, all things considered, but she’d poured her heart and soul into a sketch of her family. From simpler times, of course, fingers intertwined and shoulders touching as they sat on the grassiest part of Hyde Park, luscious willow trees and bright, clear skies dotted by fluffy, tangible clouds looming above their heads in a beautiful splay.

Nostalgia made her sick; It was peaceful, serene, softly muted colors melting together in water that poured down the paper in vivid, washed-out streaks. They looked so happy, smiles on their freckled faces and laughs caught mid-gusto - The mere thought made her heart ache, a shuddering breath leaving her as she pulled herself back together.

Breathe, Ainsley.

A soft click shuttered from her omni-tool, orange flickering over the stained, white page before a quiet chime let her know that it had been successfully sent.

Green eyes watched the faint, light glow on her wrist, her heart quickening the longer he took to reply -

Does he hate it? She never really was -

_Blip._

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _Shit, you’re talented. It looks like an actual picture, honestly. Hyde Park?_

Her happy laughter filled the room, any apprehension melting away from her within mere seconds.

> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _Yeah, Hyde Park. I grew up in London.  
>    
>  And I wouldn’t say talented, you goof. More like, just lucky that I found something I’m just remotely good at._

A quick response gave it away – He was obviously laughing. She could almost see it, honeyed eyes lovingly crinkled and his nose wrinkled in the cutest way, his signature, toothy grin lighting up his face - 

Her stomach flipped. She swallowed thickly.

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _You're British? Ha - I should've figured from your accent._
> 
> _And trust me - You’re talented. Beyond talented, in my **professional**  opinion. I'm really good at those in particular. And, what? A goof? Is that my nickname now? I’d much rather prefer being referred to as Hero. Or just  **a**  hero; I won’t be too picky about that._
> 
> _I mean, you know; For saving you and things of that nature._

“Oh?” Her eyes rolled, a soft giggle making her shake her head and smile. It lit up her face, the white bandage covering her scarred-up cheek slightly crinkling - A slight twinge of pain quickly disappeared as she typed her reply, the thought of him enough to relax her.

> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _For saving me? What, are you suddenly my knight in shining armor? Dashing out from the castle to save the damsel in distress? Think again._
> 
> _If you had given me, like, fifteen more minutes, I would’ve carved my way out of there with the hidden knife in my boot. And shame on you for not recognizing my really thick, really heavy, British accent._

She swallowed thickly. A tense in her hand made her fingers flex; Her fingertips fell numb at the briefest flash of where she was just a week ago, pins and needles threatening to swallow her alive – It was hard to believe, really, a tendril of fear slowly inching its way up her chest and intertwining with her spine, anxiety gripping her in such a tight grip that her eyes rolled back -

Breathe, Ainsley.

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _It wasn't thick enough for me to realize it._
> 
> _A hidden knife? Oh, you saucy, little minx. Alas, I highly doubt that would’ve happened – I mean, when Javek and I had arrived, you were rather… Tied up, with all things considered._

Her breath hitched at the thought. Panic seeped into her mind despite her silent pleas, an itch rushing down her body as the cuts on her arms burned at the memory, bruises pulsing beneath her skin in a way that made her stomach flip, tense, nausea threatening to –

> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _Shut up._
> 
> _Yeah, I guess I was. Or something. Whatever. How are you today?_

A moment passed, a minute hanging in the air that only enhanced her overwhelming desire to curl up and die.

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _I’m alright – Even better knowing that you’re doing well, truth be told. You had quite a few people in the Collective worried sick about you, Javek included. And, because I know you’re going to ask how he’s doing, he’s fine._
> 
> _If anything, he’s more shaken up by the state that you were in than anything else. I think it terrified him to see his best friend like that, yes? He’s tried calling while you were asleep, but I told him to wait. I didn’t want him to give away your position. I have no doubt that they bugged your omni-tool before you woke up - I trust that your handy dandy AI fixed that before you messaged me, right?_
> 
> _Not that I wasn’t worried sick about you too, of course. I’m grateful Sam managed to secure a private connection for us to talk – I don’t know how much more my back would’ve been able to handle with me scouring the walls of the Headquarters just to get to your room._

Her heart sank.

An abrupt knock on her door made her tense, the bright glow from her omni-tool quickly disappearing as her hand fell to her lap with a soft  _thud_. Hydraulics hissed as the metal parted, a familiar turian flooding her sights and causing dread to pool in her stomach as he took a step inside -

She was breathless. “Kaetus.”

“Ains,” a shaky breath left him as he crossed the distance to where she was sat, talons gently meeting her jaw as he sank to his knees. "Shit," the bed gave in under his weight as he sat d own beside her, their faces mere inches apart, and his mandibles flared before he caught himself. His chest rose with a deep breath, slightly leaning back to meet her tired gaze. “Thank the Spirits you’re okay.”

Her body shivered in a way that she didn’t like. “Yeah.”

“I was worried, you know. Tried to find the fuckers that did it, but we weren’t able to find even a fuckin’ trace of them.” His head slightly shook, mandibles irritably shifting. He cleared his throat. “Sent a shit load of patrols out that very night, been out there since, but I still haven’t heard anything about it yet. I haven’t been able to find anything, either.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s  _not_  okay.”

“It’s –“ Ginger brows furrowed, her lips pressing together. The memory made her skin crawl. “No, it’s fine. I just – I just want to let it go.”

“Ainsley…”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Kaetus.” A soft stroke of his thumb over her cheek made her shoulders hike up. She looked away, her eyes falling shut as she swallowed thickly. Her head slightly shook. “It’s – It’s something that makes me super uncomfortable and – and I don’t – I don’t… I just don't want to, okay?”

“Alright, I’ll drop it.” His talon lingered on her face a moment too long, a second too soon, and her throat threatened to swell up in fear. Something,  _something_  changed - She just didn't know what. She could almost feel his eyes focused on her bandaged cheek, emotion pulling at his voice. “Just know that those fuckers are gonna get exactly what their useless asses deserve.”  

“I…” Her eyes slowly opened, unable to meet his gaze. Words came out a whisper, soft. “Thanks.”

The talon resting on her cheek slowly trailed down her neck, stopping just short of her shoulder. His fingers curled under her chin, tilting her head towards him, before his forehead pressed against hers in the gentlest way, a moment too entirely soft for who he was, who he is. His gaze trailed from her downcast eyes to the sketchbook sat beside her, his mandibles shifting in pure curiosity and a soft, lilted trill making her jump. “What’s that?”

She grabbed it before he could. “Nothing.”

“What?” His brows furrowed. A talon reached out, hanging in the air when she yanked it further away. “Let me see, Ains.”

“No.”

“Ainsley –“

“Stop!” A sharp breath left her as she fervently shook her head, clutching the book to her chest and tucking it into safety. Her eyes were wide, fear-laced. “I - I don’t want you to see it.”

“Why?”

“It’s – It’s personal!”

“Come on, Ains.” He made another reach for the book, irritation pulling on his plates when she fervently shook her head. “What’s in it?”

“Nothing is in it, Kaetus – Stop!” With an abrupt twist that nearly dizzied her brain, she turned away from him when he made another failed attempt to grasp it and pulled her knees up to her chest. Shock pulled at her soft features, ginger brows sharply knitted and a near-snarl on her lips. “Shouldn’t you be like, working?”

“Are you kidding me?" A sharp sigh left him, disbelief flickering in hazel eyes. "I  _am_  - I’m assigned as your guard.”

It was almost a stab to her own heart, his words. The briefest flash of confusion flickered over her soft features, her lips slightly falling open in shock. She looked away from him, her eyes searching for answers that couldn't be found on the tiled floor - Wasn’t Dartak supposed to be guarding her room? Didn't he say that he was her guard? Is she hallucinating things, now? “W-What?”

“Yeah.”

“I…” She glanced down at her knees before looking back up to meet his gaze - It was intense, a strange feeling dancing through them that made her shiver. She cleared her throat. “I thought Dartak was?”

“No? He never was.” The look he gave her was enough to make her curl up, confusion and suspicious intermingling into an ungodly mess. It weighed on her anxiety, her lungs nearly crushing in her chest. “He’s supposed to be working with some of the construction crew for the hospital today. You’re changing the subject. Let me see that book.”

Her body pushed further away from him, nearly curled into the corner between her bed and the white-lined wall. She was trapped. “No!”

“Ainsley –“

“I don’t want you to see it, okay?” Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, a trembling breath leaving her as she searched for the words, something, anything. Her vision blurred, the sight of him mangling into a mess of teals and grays. “It’s – It’s mine, it’s personal, and it’s none of your business!”

“What’s gotten into you?!” Each heated word that left him physically hurt, talons vividly gesturing as he shot up from the mattress. A screech broke through the air, the skid of his armored boot making her ears ring. “Is it your drawings? You used to love showing me those! They’re beautiful, why are you self-conscious  _now_?”

“It’s – I – Things change!" Her breath left her in a rush, every word escaping her growing faster and faster. "My art is personal, it’s something that I use to cope when something bad happens and, and – It’s mine and only mine, something that keeps me fucking sane and I just don’t want you seeing it right now, okay?! It's none of your business! You're not entitled to see  _anything_  -”

“You know what? Fine.” The look in his hazel eyes made her want to die. She almost felt... Scared. He lunged forward, talons resting against the mattress on either side of her body and effortlessly pinning her to the corner; Their faces were merely a few inches apart, fear making her eyes widen - She could feel the poison in his words, a bubble in her throat. “When you’re done being a little shit, call me. Until then, you’re staying here until you come back to your goddamn senses, because you’re making none right now.”

Tears overwhelmed her vision, sobs breaking her voice as he stormed away from her; Her body was riddled with gasps, making her chest heave in a way that just  _hurt_ with each one  _–_ Her heart squeezed and  _ached_  throughout her entire body, threatening to crush, to swallow her alive. Her fingers moved without thought, desperately tapping into her omni-tool as she curled further into herself, falling back onto her bed with the sketchbook resting over her stomach.

> _From: Ainsley_  
>  _To: Reyes_  
>    
>  _I miss you._

* * *

  
Thick brows slowly knotted at the message that popped up on the glinting, orange-laced, holographic screen of his omni-tool, a breath caught in his chest as honeyed eyes read each word over and over. His heart skipped a steady beat, full lips pressing together and slowly pulling apart for his bottom lip to be worried by his teeth -

She misses him?

Knuckles tapped the soft leather of his couch, aimless and erratic; His mind was lost in a rush of thoughts, amber-loved eyes searching the red-streaked wall before a particular thought that shocked him made his pause -

Would it be terrible for him to believe that he misses her as well?

It seemed ridiculous, honestly – He’s only been talking to her for a few weeks now, possibly only a month or two, but the thought of being away from her for too long made him itch, almost. An itch that wouldn’t go away, incessant and endless, there and there and there, only to be cured by being around her; The very sight of her wasn’t enough, let alone just thinking about her, talking to her.

It wasn't enough.

Ainsley is unlike anyone else he’s ever met in his life, a brilliant uniqueness about her that pulled heavily at his emotions in a way that made him feel… Strange, if he were willing to go that far. Well, strange didn't seem to fit well enough. It made him feel something that he just couldn't put his finger on, something he couldn't fathom. Golden eyes stared down at the flickering glow over his tawny-beige wrist, a silence weighing down upon him that nearly crushed him when he realized -

A trembling breath escaped him as he looked up, whiskey eyes widening in shock; He needed her. He needed her in a way that he couldn’t even begin to  _fathom_ , the mere idea, the mere suggestion chilling him down to his very core -

He didn’t like that.

He didn’t like that the very thought of her made him -

A ping on his terminal across the room brought him right out of his confused trance, honeyed eyes sharply narrowing as his attention snapped over to glare at it. Red flickering over the walls was interrupted by blue, ceasing and endless and -

Reyes irritably sighed, standing up to make his way over. His hand met the keypad, typing in his passcode and listening to the familiar chime of –

A plethora of knocks interrupted him, making his body tense. He groaned, fingers irritably pinching the bridge of his nose while his eyes squeezed shut. An elbow relaxed down against the terminal, his face burying itself in his hands as irritation pricked his voice. “What?”

_“Hey, it’s Ryder. Can I come in?”_

Ryder? Ainsley Ryder? The voice was muffled, soft, in a way that he couldn’t distinguish it enough to -

Reyes nearly leaped, an eagerness to see just who it was nearly overwhelming him and making him forget about the message. He took in a steadying breath, forcing his tense body to relax down against the couch and lean back with a sigh. A hand ran through his hair as he cleared his throat. “Doors are open.”

Hydraulics hissed, parting to reveal a familiar ginger walking in, only –

Not the ginger he expected to see.

His smile faltered.

“Listen,” Lukas started, light brows knotted as he stormed in through opened doors. His hands vividly gestured, irritation written over his freckled features. “I’m just going to get right to it – You know that my sister’s alive and you haven’t told me that? What the fuck is  _wrong_  with you? If I’m supposed to trust you with this whole Vehn Terev stuff, you need to be real with -”

“I was keeping her  _safe_  - The Nexus has been shitty to her, alright? She doesn’t deserve half of the bullshit that she’s been through, especially not right now.” Reyes stood, a sharp sigh leaving him. With slow, calculated steps, he cautiously approached the ginger. “I wasn’t sure if they had sent you to collect an overdue debt on her or to spy on her, and I’m not having either of those happen while I’m still alive and kicking.”  

“I’m her brother!” Lukas shook his head, throwing his arms out. He sputtered. “Why would I –“

“I’m not here for a debate on what’s best for Ainsley’s safety!” Words spit out of him like a fire, anger dancing behind each of them and a flame igniting whiskey eyes as he stormed up to him - Their faces were mere inches apart, danger flickering across dark features as his voice rose, loud, malice-filled. “Not while she’s stuck in a goddamn prison cell waiting for a death sentence!”

A moment hung in the air, chilling the ginger down to his very bones.

“Please,” Lukas's words were a soft, quiet plea as deep, green eyes met golden ones, a breath hanging in the air. The tension was thick, tangible between them in a way that made him shiver; A darkness lurked in his eyes in a way that unsettled him. “Let me help. I  _need_  to help, Reyes. It’s my  _sister_ -“

A sharp breath left the raven, interrupting his words. He contemplated it for a moment too long, the atmosphere growing thicker and thicker until it was heavy, loaded, weighing the ginger's body down and crushing his chest, enough to make him–

“Fine.” Lukas visibly relaxed as Reyes continued. “But if I suspect even the slightest hint of foul play going on,” his eyes narrowed as his voice grew low, serious, in a way that made him nauseous. A shiver tickled his skin. “You’ll wish that you had never woken up from your cryogenic sleep.”

“Okay.” He took in a soft breath, fervently nodding his head. “I can live with that.”

“I’ve been communicating with one of my close contacts for the past few hours, determining the best way to get her out without causing too much of a disruption in the Outcasts." A hand ran through jet-black hair as Reyes took a step away, his eyes searching the metal-lined floor of the room. "She needs her position within the Outcasts to keep hers with the Collective, so any chance of it being compromised...”

The implication made him uncomfortable. “Got it.”

“There’s also another contact I have within the Outcasts, but he hasn’t been able to get a clear reading on her. It seems he’s always blocked by another guard or by  _Kaetus_ ,” he nearly hissed his name, malice staining his voice as he turned to face the ginger, exasperated. “Who, apparently, has her entire room on lockdown.”

“Kaetus?" Lukas swallowed thickly, a soft breath escaping him. "Who’s Kaetus?”

Irritation danced across the raven's dark features at the mention of his name, the slightest hitch in his shoulder and a twitch in his eye. “A turian that’s obsessed with her.”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s –" Dark brows sharply furrowed as fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. Reyes sighed. "It’s a long story, Ryder. You haven’t been here for the past year – While you were being lazy, sleeping in your little cryo chamber, she was dealing with the brunt of everything that went down on the Nexus before, and after, the riots. I’m sure she’ll explain everything to you once we get her back.”

“I –“

“And let’s get something clear, here –“ Hands grasped his shoulders, stilling his breathing. Honeyed eyes met deep green ones, electricity crackling just behind his pupils that made him freeze – A shiver rolled down his spine. “Her safety is the  _number one_  priority. Your happy, little reunion can happen  _after_  she’s safe.”

“Yeah – Yeah, of course.” Lukas took in a quick breath as the hands slid off his shoulders, a quick nod of his head an after-thought. A soft clear in his throat prompted the man to head back to the couch he had been sitting on prior, falling down with a soft grunt. “What do you need me to do? I feel pretty helpless about this whole situation right now.”

“So far, all I know is that her trial is set for a week from today.” A hand ran through black hair, full lips pressing together for a moment. “So, we don’t have much time. I need for you to talk to Sloane, try to buddy up with her. Keep doing what you’re doing under the guise of ‘for the Initiative’, you’re bound to pry some information out of the Outcasts eventually – Whether that’s by getting on their good side or annoying the shit out of them, I don’t care.”

“Highly doubt I’ll reach that buddy-buddy, by the water fountain at work gossip, though." Lukas paused. "I mean, she does hate my guts. And the Initiative’s guts. And my father’s guts. And any of my future children’s guts, and –“ He lamely shrugged. “Well, you get the picture.”

“Oh?” An airy chuckle made his shoulders tense. It was all too warm for the tension he felt just seconds ago, dissipating with a snap of his fingers as if it had never been there in the first place. “She likes Ainsley. And I’ll let you in on a little secret - Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Fuck you.”

A soft laugh danced through the air. “Always.”

* * *

  
“I… I don’t know how to feel right now,” his voice almost didn’t want to work, uselessly said to himself in a light, mumbled whisper. Each step he made up the ramp leading into the Tempest was labored, heavy, the realization of what, exactly, Reyes had told him earlier finally sinking in. It was sobering -

His sister is  _alive_.

Ainsley is alive and breathing, kicking around without him attached to her shoulder, just like how they used to always be. Surviving in a world that, so far, seems so unsavory, so  _terrified_ of everything, death and despair lurking around every corner, near-insatiable with selfish and greedy people frantically moving to secure any and everything they possibly could get their grimy hands on. Just to stay alive.

Kadara is a man eat man world.

It was hard to stomach that.

The thought of her having to do things she would  _never_  do, things that go against who she is, just to make it here, just to make sure that she was safe –

He felt nauseous.

One slow step after the other through the cargo hold made his chest ache more and more; He couldn’t imagine how she’s felt, not knowing if they were dead, not knowing if they'd survived the trip across dark space. Let alone, her having to live without  _him_  - They think the same, act the same, carbon copies of each other in a way that melted hearts.

He wasn’t sure what hurt more, the fact that he hadn’t known for so long, or –

The fact that the Nexus hadn’t told him that she was alive.

After he woke up, the first words they said to him, while he was still dazed and exhausted, trying to get his bearings, was that she was dead, found mangled and electrocuted into a disgusting mess in her collapsed cryogenic pod after their ark had made contact with the Scourge. Dead on impact, no chance of survival. They wouldn’t even let him glance at her body, to find the closure that it was, indeed, her in there, and not somebody else.

He spent weeks grieving for her.

 _“Tann was afraid to admit the truth,”_ the artificial intelligent’s words broke him out from his sullen trance. He cleared his throat.  _“It was not right, but he did what he believed to be best given the situation that you had woken up to. He believed that if he had told you and Alec about Ainsley having been exiled, that you would not have wanted to help them.”_

“Well, no fucking shit.”

_“I am sorry, Lukas.”_

“I don’t need any apologies from you, Sam.” A gloved hand trailed over the wall's side-railing as he passed by, the cool chill from the metal-lined siding seeping through the thick fabric. He almost didn’t want to ask, his throat feeling full as the question caught in his chest. “Is... Is she going to be okay?”

A second hung in the air, weighing down on him more and more with each step; He couldn't breathe, suddenly, anxiety bubbling in his chest and crawling through his skin -

Sam didn’t answer.

He scoffed.

God has a funny way of spiting their family. First, their mother, her final breath leaving just a year before the Initiative was to set off on this grand adventure, then the incident involving the ark colliding with the tendrils of dark space that they’ve deemed the Scourge. Then, their supposed ‘golden worlds’ turning out to be duds, changed over the course of their travel, and now…

This.

This entire load of crockshit that just seems to keep coming and coming, one hit right after the other, with no time to process anything and everything -

“Lukas,” the familiar, rough staccato of his father’s voice relaxed him when he entered the stuffy atmosphere of the Tempest's hallway, leading out from the cargo hold. Soft beeps and light chirps danced around them, making his senses roll. “Are you alright? Your crew told me that you opted to stay behind after meeting with Kelly. Did something happen?”

“I –“ His mind raced, the beat of his heart quickening as he fought against what he wanted to do. If he told their father, he wasn’t really sure how he’d react - They need to work this out, to figure out what they’re going to do before it’s set in stone. He didn’t doubt that he would over-react, making it blow up in their faces like a walking bomb before they had a chance to fix it. “No.”

“It’s not good to tell lies, you know.” Alec roughly patted his back, the corners of his lips quirking up in a smirk as they fell into an effortless step together. A bop against his freckled nose caught him off-guard. “You’ll grow a nose like Pinocchio.”

Lukas groaned as they walked through the doors leading into the Pathfinder’s Quarters – His father’s room. “Dad…”

“For real, though.” The worry in his soft, blue eyes was enough to sway him. A soft grunt left Alec as he sat down at his desk, running a hand through ashen-brown hair before picking up a datapad. “You know that you can tell me anything, Luke. What’s wrong?”

A soft breath left him. His mind and his heart fought against each other, common sense betraying emotion - The Ryders always did wear their hearts on their sleeves. Ginger hair fell in his eyes as he shook his head, dwindling under his father’s gaze when their eyes met. His throat swelled shut, words breathless and awe-filled. “Ainsley’s alive.”

The shock that danced through his dark features nearly broke him. “What?”

“Sam told me about it earlier,” a rush of words left him before he could stop, tears threatening to overwhelm him. His voice cracked. “Just after we talked to Sloane. That’s why I stayed behind, he stopped me and said that he wanted to talk to me. That it was ‘important’. Then, I went and spoke with Reyes, that contact Evfra sent us after for that whole thing involving Vehn Terev. He…”

A trembling breath left him. “He confirmed it, Dad.”

“Are you serious?” The anger in his voice made him jump. “Why didn’t Tann tell me?”

 _“Tann was afraid that, given the circumstances the Nexus were currently under when you had woken up, that you and Lukas would not want to help them if he had told you.”_ A soft, infinitesimal pause could’ve been mistaken for hesitance on the artificial intelligent’s part.  _“She was exiled during the Rebellion.”_

“What?!” His body shot up, the chair spiraling behind him and slamming into the metal legs of his desk. It rebounded, spinning uncontrollably towards the couches; A hand ran through his hair, tangling into the bottom before he took off in a rush for the doors. “I swear to God – I’m going to contact Addison and Tann _right now_. I need to know what the fuck is going on, because I don’t like what’s being implied here.”

“No!” Lukas grabbed his father’s arm, steps stumbling and tripping as he tried to stop him. “Wait!”

The look in his eyes when he glanced over his shoulder chilled him down to his core. “What?!”

“I – I – I don’t know how to explain this, okay? Like… Okay,” Lukas took in a deep breath. Anxiety threatened to bubble over, grasping his lungs in a grip so tight, he could barely breathe. “She’s in jail right now. Reyes said that she’s being charged with treason and that he’s working on a way to get her out. I think if we contact the Initiative, we’re gonna make it worse.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Alec shook his head. Disbelief made his eyes narrow. “You’re dropping a lot on me right now, Lukas. You’re expecting me to stay quiet about the fact that my daughter,  _your sister_ , was exiled, _without our knowledge_ , and that the Initiative lied to us. Do you even know who you're talking to right now?”

“I – I know. I know. I’m sorry. I'm - I'm sorry.” Lukas swallowed thickly; Green eyes fell to stare down at his feet, the mere thought of her face making him sick, his stomach flipping. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, a sadness weighing down on his voice. “It’s a lot for me to take in right now, too. I…”

He slowly looked up, grief blurring his vision and rushing down his cheeks. He was breathless, a crack in his voice. “I thought she was dead all this time, Dad.”

“As did I.” The glimpse of his bloodshot eyes broke his heart. Alec sighed, reaching out to brush away his tears before pulling him into a hug that was enough to crush him. He broke in his arms, and determination set in the back of his mind. “That’s why I’m gonna do something about it.”

* * *

  
“Kaetus,” Sloane’s hand caught his forearm before he could pass by. The turian froze, people fluttering around them in the main sector of their headquarters; Occasional beeps from terminals lining glass walls littered the background, idle chatter and muted conversations dancing in between footsteps over blue-laced floors and swirling around their bodies. “Got a sec?”

“Yeah,” his mandibles shifted in curiosity. “Why?”

“I was wondering if you’d join me for a brief meeting?” Heterochromia eyes glanced around the encircled room, lips pressing together while she took a step closer and her voice fell low, quiet. “It’s about Ainsley, our apparent resident jailbird.”

“Uh…” Kaetus sighed, an uncomfortable feeling prickling his plated skin. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, hazel eyes focusing forward. He felt tense. “Why?”

“Just gathering some intel for the upcoming trial.” They fell into an effortless step together with the flick of her wrist, memories playing through his mind of what was long gone – Time spent hand in hand, happy laughter bubbling and rushing through the air that weighed on his heart in a way that made him squirm, almost.

He didn't want to admit it, but he's missed it.

He's missed her.

“What, to use against her?” The turian whistled as they rounded a corner; Walls caved in, cramping them in a dimly-lit hallway that faintly glowed a pale blue. He cleared his throat. Focus, Kaetus. The bustle of people rushing by them distracted him, deep-set eyes focusing on the black-tiled floor before he scoffed and shook his head. “Damn, that’s low. Even for you, Sloane.”

“Jesus Christ - I want it to be a  _fair_  trial, Kaetus.” She playfully punched his shoulder, her snorty giggle dancing through the air. He smiled, a strange warmth in his chest. “Not a one-sided thing in which I play stereotypical favoritism. Wanna hear both sides about what’s going on, so people take it seriously and I don’t have to hear any whining coming from anyone when it's done and over. Got no time for whiners and criers at this point, right?”

“Hmph - Alright, you’ve got a point there, I guess.” A walk down an angled ramp and through a set of open, wide-set doors led them into her intricate throne room. Lovely sunlight shone through the slotted window behind the chair, bathing them in a wash of brilliant, effervescent color and casting an orange, over-saturated wave rolling across the metal-entwined walls.

It looked like the ocean, almost.

Kaetus stopped short of the throne-like seat, watching as she crossed the distance to fall back without any hesitation. It looked like she's always belonged there, regal elegance and a strange beauty standing out against the blinding sun of Govorkham hung behind her, really; It made his heart skip a beat. Her entire being relaxed, a strangely-soft smile on her scarred face that made him falter. “Just thought that she was one of your favorites is all.”

“Oh, she is.” The way his mandibles haughtily shifted at her admittance, irritation abound and hazel eyes swiftly rolling while his arms folded across his chest, made her snort. Delight twinkled in her off-colored eyes, lighting up her dark features. “Just gotta hide the trail, doofus. I know how to play the game. Unlike you, of course.”

“Ah.”

A moment of silence fell between them, awkward and drawn out in a way he couldn't put his finger on; He wasn't sure if it was awkward because of their relationship, or because he wasn't sure if she'd really pulled him aside for questioning. Curious, hazel eyes peered up at the woman. A slight flicker in his mandibles made him clear his throat, getting ready to take a step away, before -

“So,” fingertips tapped an erratic rhythm into the leather armrests. A trembling breath left her, eyes squeezing shut and lips pressing together - It almost seemed as if she were fighting against herself. He paused, listening to her nails scrape against the fabric before her hands balled into fists and she sighed. “I want you to be real with me for a moment. Were you and Ainsley ever a…?”

“A…?” Kaetus stared at her for a moment, his eyes slightly narrowing with mild confusion, before promptly shaking his head. The slightest tense of his shoulders hurt more than she had anticipated, the roll of his eyes making her feel strange. “Spirits – Listen, I  _really_  don’t wanna talk about that right now.”

“So you were a thing, weren’t you? I had a hunch that something fishy was going on.” It almost hurt, the admittance. Jealousy wasn’t something that she was used to – It was always either her way or get spaced, follow her or get lost. Losing someone she cares for, for once in her life, isn't typical -

Something clicked in her at that moment. Fingers steepled in front of her scarred-up face as she leaned forward and her elbows met her knees, teeth worrying her bottom lip. She liked Ainsley - Hell, she’s always liked Ainsley, the naivety and the greediness she possessed to learn any and everything always pulled at her heart in a way that she just couldn’t explain. 

But the shared looks she’s seen between those two, need and want mixed together in a disgusting concoction that seemed to poison everything they'd do together, lingering touches mixed with a curiosity and a moment's hesitation when they'd pass too close together, breaths caught and awe flickering through their eyes…

That didn’t sit well with her.

Not when Kaetus is –  _Was_  hers.

“Sloane…” The familiar, twanged timbre of his voice broke her focus. His eyes narrowed when she caught his gaze and he shook his head, arms folding over his chest. “I thought you wanted to ask me about what’s going on with her, not about something that isn't any of your business to begin with.”

“I am. No - I'm going to, I’m just thinking of what to ask you right now,” an unsteady breath left her before she pushed herself back, crossing an ankle over her knee. Focus, Sloane. She sighed, dark brows narrowing as she stared down at her feet, lost in contemplation. “The fact that you two were a thing to begin with is… Seedy. For this trial, that is. I don’t know if I can use you now. For all I know, you could be biased.”

“Sloane, you know me. I’m _never_ biased.”

“And I love to make small talk.” A sharp sigh left her, a hand reaching up to trail through her black, twisted braids. It followed the short length down the curve of her head, stopping at the nape of her neck to grasp the warm skin there - Her words were soft, mumbled. “You were always biased with me.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” she cleared her throat. With the flick of her wrist, her omni-tool sputtered on, casting a lovely, warm hue dancing across her dark features and bathing her in a soft light; Fingers scrolled down a column, swiping away an overly-highlighted header, before tapping into a folder. A soft click let her know that the recording started, and she nodded. “I want you to give me a run-down of anything suspicious that you’ve noticed of Ainsley recently.”

Oh.

Fuck.

A slight moment of hesitation on his part made her brow quirk up. Heterochromia eyes flickered up to catch him torn; His mandibles flared, talons digging into the sides of his neck before he turned away from her and slightly shook his head. A tense in his shoulders made him take a faltering step away, a shaky breath leaving him while his eyes searched the slotted, metal flooring for answers that he just couldn't find –

He didn’t know if he could do this, he realized. To Ainsley, that is.

“Kaetus,” her tone was almost commanding, demanding of him in a way he didn't like. His skin crawled as words left him, tension crawling through the air and weighing it down like sludge, viscous to the point of tangibility that made him feel heavy. "I need an answer. I'll only ask it one more time."

A catch in his chest made him feel nauseous, his stomach churning with each breath. The serious tone of her voice chilled him down to his very bones, a numbness chasing after the high. He couldn’t look at her, guilt threating to eat him alive if he'd so much as glance back at her.

“Have you noticed anything suspicious of Ainsley?”

“I…” A shuddering breath left him, shoulders falling in defeat as his eyes fell shut. Guilt broke his heart. “Yes, I have.”


	8. animal skins

“And?”

A heavy silence fell upon the room with such ferocity, weighing down on his chest with such an intense pressure that it nearly broke him - A pin lightly dropped, shattering through the quiet in a way that made his plates flare and his skin crawl in a chilling kiss. Kaetus took in a soft breath before his mouth opened, squaring his shoulders, before his mouth fell shut, breathless.

Words simply couldn’t leave him.

His mandibles shifted uncomfortably in a wordless haze, hazel eyes staring at a point just above her head on the throne - If he looked at her, beady eyes meeting heterochromia ones that seemed to see through into his soul and cause dread to rush down his spine in a nauseating burn, it hurt. It hurt, his heart breaking at the mere thought of what they used to be, who they used to be to each other.

It almost seemed too easy, really. The idea of ratting Ainsley out, of spilling all of her secrets that he's known about to be bared out in the open for all to see and to judge, that is – Not just because it’s his _job_ to be loyal to his boss, to Sloane, the leader of the Outcasts, the woman who once held his heart in her hand like a iron fist, but because… No. After that argument he and Ainsley had, heated and heavy, right inside of her hospital room?

He wasn’t sure how he felt about Ainsley anymore.

And that scared him.

More than he could even begin to process.

It all happened so quick, his relationship with her – One thing led to another, feelings rearing their ugly head before he could even realize that it had happened, something there and blossoming before he could stop it. Maybe it was the situation, his dwindling relationship with Sloane slipping through his talons like sand while his one with Ainsley developed faster than he could think, or maybe it was just circumstance, out of place, unlikely, but there.

Maybe he over-thought it.

Maybe he didn’t.

Maybe it wasn't anything to begin with.

Either way, he felt… Conflicted didn’t seem like the right word.

The thought of her ripping her sketchbook away from him hurt in a way that made an ache settle deep within his stomach, unable to process it, almost. She used to love sharing any and everything with him, nothing ever hidden or kept secret, a pride in her bright eyes with each page she flipped that she allowed him to see, eager for his opinion and his thoughts.

He sighed, crestfallen. “I… I guess that she’s –“

An abrupt bang interrupted his unsteady start, catching their dual attention and swallowing down his muted stutter as if it were nothing. His confident to speak up faltered. Wide, startled eyes snapped over to the closed, metal doors looming behind them, another bang following before it erupted into erratic pounding in an indisputable rhythm; mixing with voices that argued and fought to be heard _–_

And, just like that, with the click of his boot again the tiled floor, it was gone.

“What in the bloody hell is going on over there?!” Sloane’s yell, jarring and mangled, made his plated skin crawl and a chilled rush to race through his body, piercing through the intense silence hanging in the room that grasped ahold of them. Voices picked up and intermingled behind the steel as fabric rustled, breaking the barrier, jostling when she promptly stood –

Before she could even move, a faltered step hanging in the air, the voices stopped. As if they had never been anything in the first place, the sounds a whisper of a thought unspoken.

Kaetus’ brow plates slightly shifted, opting to quirk up when he glanced down at the woman. She looked confused – No. She looked irritated, more than anything. They waited a beat, a moment, a hesitation that seemed to drag on and on, before the silence answered her and she shook her head.

"Alright." With a bated breath, Sloane slowly sank back down into the intricacies of her chair. A sharp, irritated sigh left her in a huff, fingers carding through intricately-braided locks of hair when she met his gaze and her shoulders squared. “Now, as I was saying before... Whatever _that_ was interrupted me.” She cleared her throat, shaking her head and flipping her wrist to turn her omni-tool back on. “What have you noticed?”

“I’ve noticed… Shit.” A trembling breath left him. Arms hesitantly crossed over his torso, a thick swallow making him sniffle. Scaled, calloused fingers tapped an unsteady pattern into his elbow, the rhythm distracting and comforting as he started to pace. “I’ve seen her sneaking around the Badlands at night. Word from the Warden down there has it that she visits someone out there on the nightly, usually. Couldn’t get a name from the bastard, though. Said that they both paid a hefty price for privacy and that whoever pays for privacy, gets privacy.”

“Uptight bastard - Always those morons who aren't willing to bend the rules.” Another click hissed through the room, followed by a flash of orange that washed over his dark features, and she slowly nodded. With the gesture of her hand, she spared a glance back up at him. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. A few of our people caught her coming in and out of an apparent cave system in –“

Noises erupted in an unholy cacophony behind closed doors, metal screeching and grinding through an array of erratic knocks and clicks that cut through his words like a searing knife. Sloane shot up before her brain could even process what she was doing, hands reaching for the gun holstered on her hip without a second thought, and ran for the door.

“Wait!” A talon pressed against her stomach, sliding across and catching her armored elbow before she could disappear in a flash of brightly-lit color past his body. “Probably just some jackass trying to get a rise out of us. Guards can handle it. Let’s get back to what we were doing.”

Their eyes met, vastly contrasting in such a vivid display of hues that stood out like differing flames; Her features contorted in pure irritation before she yanked her arm free, her nose scrunching up the longer she stared at him, gazes locked. It almost seemed as if that motion annoyed her, really, a quick flick of her wrist brushing off her armor as she walked to her throne.

“You need to learn to trust them more, Sloane." With a sigh, the sounds dimmed down, muted, until they were nothing. "You can’t do everything and be everywhere all at once. Let people take care of -”

A click broke the sudden-sought silence she allowed to hang in the air, orange flickering and washing across her dark features in an effervescent wave before she plopped back down with a sharp sigh that weighed down her voice. It was brusque. “Continue.”

“Cave system in Draullir.” He cleared his throat. “Dartak was telling me about it, something along the lines of her disappearing on a routine supply gather and coming back hours after they’d gotten the drop. Just in time to pick up the last box and pass it off as if she’d always been there. Nobody could find her for hours and her comms were off the entire time.”

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, the furrow of her brows making him click his tongue. “That irritated people.”

“Ah, shit.” She cursed under her breath - A boot slammed against the obsidian tile beneath their bodies, the clang rattling their brains and ricocheting against the metal walls in a dizzying screech that seemed never-ending. “Well, no wonder why. People who don’t pull their own weight are annoying as fuck.”

“Yeah… There’s more.”

“More?” Her jaw nearly dropped. “Are you serious?”

“When am I _not_ serious?”

“I’m not here to play games right now, Kaetus. Know we used to do that a lot, but this is serious business, Outcast business, and I need to be serious. You know that I take any matters within these walls seriously, and if you’d rather we dick around like we used to…”

“Sloane –"

“Continue, you’re being timed.” An ankle crossed over her knee as her cheek leaned against her fist, heterochromia eyes rolling. Her voice was annoyed, irritated, ready to break everything off and call it quits. She was done. “Don’t know how much more of this I can handle, honestly.”

“Back on that grab-bag mission that we went on to collect intel about the Collective, there was something… Weird, I _guess_ , with the way that she was holding herself that day. Distant, maybe… On the edge, almost. Something was bothering her. When I went to destroy the console the information was on after we grabbed a copy of it, she nearly passed out.”

“Stopped me from doing it," the shock on her face was hard to miss. "Something about security clearance and things like that on it. A failsafe, set to go off if tampered with. It looked perfectly fine to me – A scan of it right before we left revealed nothing out of the ordinary. If they had put shit on it, it was well-hidden and not seen by the naked eye. Or an AI.”

Dark brows promptly furrowed. She shook her head, leaning forward to press her chin against her splayed hands. “How would she know that?”

His shrug was flourished. “You tell me.”

“Bloody hell!" Hands fell from her face and pushed against her knees with a grunt, before they started to vividly gesture. "I thought that these rumors had no substance, a fake grab to pull someone down from their rise in power, just when they deserved to get it. She’s worked her bloody ass off to get to where she is today, and now this? This can ruin her, Kaetus. This can be her downfall.”

A shaky sigh left him at the thought – His stomach dropped. “I know.”

With a soft click that echoed through the chambers, her features fell with a breath. Her voice cracked, subtle, but there. “Goddamn it, Kaetus. I wasn’t going to consider doing anything to her - She’s worked her fucking ass off to get up through the ranks! She’s one of the hardest working guards I’ve ever met in my entire goddamn life, but now with everything that you’re telling me? I don’t know if I –“

Another metallic bang broke through her words, interrupting her in an explosion of  noise and rattling through the tension that pulled at the crisp, cool air of the room; A gasp escaped her before she could help it, hands reaching for the holstered gun on her thigh as she shot up and rushed into action past the dazed and startled turian.

Kaetus blinked, the plates of his mandibles shifting, before his feet moved without another thought, following her trail.

Hydraulics hissed after deft fingers hurriedly keyed in the passcode to the orange-hued omni-tool dotting her umber skin, obsidian-like metal parting to reveal guards moving in a flurry around a blur of colors melting and shifting on the floor in a hazed mess that seemed never-ending.

“Let go of me!” The voice almost sounded familiar, just on the tip of her tongue. Strange -

“No!" A grunt broke through the guard's cry, armor meeting armor in a dizzying screech that made her head spin as the guard's knee collided with the floor. Arms moved, rushing to grasp and pin the offender's arms behind his body. "Stand down, Ryder!”

Kaetus glanced down at Sloane, shock pulling at his stiff features. “Ryder?”

It couldn't be.

“Alec?” The surprise in her voice made them pause. Irritated eyes peered up from the tangled mess of armor strewn across the floor, silver and gray overwhelming the pale, freckled face. He looked exhausted. Surprise quickly gave way to pure annoyance, dark brows sharply furrowing as she huffed. “What in the bloody hell are you doing here? Thought you had business with the Nexus.”

“Got business here now, Kelly.” He sounded serious, the motion sending a shiver up her spine. “I need to talk to you.”

“No.”

Her indignance made his jaw drop. He scoffed. “This is serious, Sloane –“

“Don’t call me Sloane. You don’t deserve any casualty from me or my people.” A slight nod to the guards startled them back into motion. The shrug of her shoulder elicited an eruption of agreements, rushing and flooding over each other as hands made reaches for his body. “Get him out of here.”

“No!” A yank on his arm made his body fall limp, heavy like a rag doll against the cold-tiled floor. Stubbornness took over him, ankles crossing over stretched-out legs as he pressed himself to the floor, despite the guards trying to pry him up. “I’m not leaving until you tell me where the hell you’re holding my daughter! This is against the law, and I -”

“Don’t care ‘bout no laws! You’re getting out of my place and _now_!”

“Sloane –“

“Not Sloane, and now –“

“I will make every step of your goddamn life a miserable hell if you don’t tell me where my daughter is right fucking now!" His voice cracked with anger, rising and bouncing against the thin walls of the highway in a hard echo. Emotion pulled at his words, heavy. "I know you have her. I know she’s here. I’m not playing any more games here, Kelly. I _know_ you have her.”

“Don’t care if you do. That literally doesn’t matter to me, Ryder.”

“I’m willing to sit here and handle this like adults, Kelly. If you don’t want the Nexus being brought into your business, I suggest we talk this out. One on one, just us.”

“I don’t handle legal matters. Not to mention, that gangle of morons wouldn’t want to dirty their precious, clean noses in anything regarding Kadara. Your threat falls on no ears.”

“You’re seriously going to risk starting a war with the Initiative just because you don’t want to comply with me, Sloane –“

“Not Sloane! And last I heard, that’s what the fucking Nexus wanted anyways! And besides, she was exiled like us. Those morons don’t want anyone that was exiled. In fact, leadership could care even less about anyone residing on Kadara, let alone the ones that were kicked off.”

“Sloane," the hesitance pulling against his words made her pause, heavy and hardened as he cleared his throat. Alec took in a soft breath, the threat of tears pricking the corners of his eyes enough to cause his voice to waver. "I thought she was dead. For _years_.”

That clicked in her - A strange feeling, one she couldn't quite put her finger on.

His words, a soft and muted whisper despite his hardened stature, inspired a lazy grin to curl the corners of her full lips, mischief twinkling in heterochromia eyes as she met his gaze. He was tired, sad, a near-broken man. Good. They slinked over to glance at the armored krogan behind him, the flick of her wrist ushering them away. “Guards, drop him and leave him. Kaetus, take a hike.”

Kaetus scoffed, a step closer and a hand meeting her shoulder. “Sloane, you can't possibly –“

“Take a hike," she shrugged him off. It hurt more than he realized. "Lover-boy.”

The look that flickered across his plated, aqua-painted face was enough to make her shiver, a strange feeling making his mandibles shift in an indignance only she could tell, had she not been expecting it. Hesitance pulled at his voice, falling low as he sighed and his shoulders fell in pure defeat. He couldn't win this one, he realized. “…Fine.”

Footsteps echoed and overlapped, slowly fading from the air as they disappeared around the bend of the corner, a heavy silence falling over the two as hydraulics hissed and steam evaporated before their very eyes, sealing them in. They were alone. Sloane cleared her throat. “So, your baby girl has, apparently, been dead for years, huh? And now, you want her back.”

“I do." He took in a shaky breath, his eyes squeezing shut. "The Nexus -”

“That’s nice, Alec. If you want her," the undertone of her voice was familiar in a way that stood out against all else, a tell-tale sign of desire hidden just under the pitch of it as her steps wound in a slow, calculated circle around his body. She wanted something, something that made his stomach drop with dread. "You have to give me something in return.”

Surprise widened green eyes, unexpecting the turn that this was taking. The slightest slack of his jaw parted his lips, ashen brows quickly furrowing with confusion. “What?”

“Hey – You want your baby girl back, you give me what I want. I mean, it's not as though I'm asking for a lot, is it?” A shoulder idly shrugged as she continued, a smugness settling across her dark features that made the slightest hint of anger flicker through his narrowed eyes as he listened to her talk. “Common courtesy - Though, I'm sure you've never heard of that, right?”

He hesitated.

With the slink of his shoulders, defeat washed over his light features in a dizzying wave, making his head slowly nod in a silent agreement that felt much like he was selling his soul to the devil. Desire overwhelmed the sense that screamed at him through every fiber of his being, the urgency to see his daughter pulling at his heart strings in such a way that he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think –

He wanted – No, he _needed_ to see her again. Too long, too long -

“Let’s talk, Sloane.”

* * *

  
Armored footsteps clinked, one after the other, metal meeting metal music to his near-overwhelmed ears. A cold chill settled in the air, the sun on Kadara long set behind holographic signs and obsidian-like buildings that rose higher than he could’ve ever imagined, the twist of silver a strange comfort; It felt like Omega, all over again. The moon cast vivid shadows over their features, bathing them in a rich darkness that seemed to lurk and curve around the bend of every corner.

Lukas softly cleared his throat, green eyes watching his every, heavy step against the trodden sleet of sheets beneath his feet, before a moment of confidence made him glance up at the man slightly ahead of him, but side by side. Golden eyes met his gaze from the corners of his, not a falter in his step, and he swallowed thickly. “Where are we going again?”

“Business meeting with my partner, Keema.” Reyes’ answer came almost too quickly, eyes looking away when his boot scuffed a raised step and he returned his focus ahead.

“Oh, okay.” A pause fell between them, a quiet moment meant as a soft pause to urge him to continue on. When he didn’t, Lukas sighed. “Why?”

“I’ve had her send out requests for intel and to contact some of our high-tier clients for information regarding Ainsley's situation, mostly involving ways to break her out of her cell without any implications of her position being compromised. We need options, and if there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about making things disappear, it has to be Keema.”

“There's literally no chance it'll be compromised, right?”

“I'll make sure of it.” A glance up revealed neon-lit skies, sign after sign flickering and fighting against the contrasting medley that sparked from every angle in a blissful hum. He took in a soft breath, the smile on his face almost amicable, slight. “Sadly, I suppose. Not that I would _want_ to do anything that would risk her safety, of course.”

“Good.” Lukas hesitated after he spoke, a moment making ginger brows furrow as they turned another corner. “Wait, why ‘sadly’?”

“I tend to do things in a very… Dramatic manner, I suppose.” Reyes watched a holographic sign flicker away from them, beeps and clicks rushing by. “A flourish, if you will. It’s one of my favorite things to do, given that our leader tends to hide in the shadows without a face and the blame can be put on other people with no implications, but I don’t believe that this occasion will allow for such things. Not at this very moment, at least.”

“Definitely not.” Freckled hands shoved their way into the thick pockets of his coat, olive green barely visible beneath the waves of color sloshing over them. A slight chill made him shiver. “Maybe after we get her out of there, you can do your whole… Whatever it is that you were just talking about.”

“Oh, trust me - I plan on it. Sloane’s caused this city enough grief, let alone after what most of us had to go through after we’d been rudely awakened on the Nexus. And if she’s done anything to Ainsley?” He scoffed, anger pulling at the edges of his voice as it fell deep, laced with venom. “She’ll wish that she had never left the Nexus.”

“Yeah. She better watch her back.”

Lukas almost missed the slightest hint of a wink cast over Reyes' shoulder, making him flush. “You know it.”

An amicable silence fell between them, only cracked by the soft chirping hum of lively buildings as they passed by them. The further they went into the city, the more the slums started to reveal itself around them, pieces of holographic screens broken and flickering on and off in a never-ending pattern.

“So…” Lukas started after a moment, clearing his throat. “Tell me about Keema.”

A thick brow quirked up. “Oh?" He chuckled. "What do you want to know?”

“Well, how did you guys meet? That’s a good basis, for starters. I’d at least like to know a little bit more about who we’re gonna be meeting with if she’s doing things for my sister.” He paused, a soft scoff leaving him. “Though, I’m pretty sure you’ve thoroughly screened her before letting her do anything involving Ainsley.”

“Always,” a grin curled the edges of his full lips. “We met how anyone ever meets me – Through business. Saw her a few days after I first stepped foot on Kadara. She had been asking around, looking for someone that was willing to do some dirty work for her – Didn’t want to be caught red-handed or in the middle of a mess. You know how politics tend to be. So, I volunteered.”

“Oh.” A moment passed, a beat that was sustained, before Lukas continued. “That’s it? That’s all?”

“Yeah, that’s all. Nothing special, really. That’s how I made a name for myself – One thing led to another, one client came with another, more coming with each that showed up; Things just seemed to keep rolling, and, before I even realized it? I was the head smuggler in the Port. Not that I’m complaining, of course - Others have it more difficult than I do.”

“Wow… Uh, that’s quite the business title." A hesitant chuckle pulled on his words before they faded. "I mean, I feel a bit unworthy in your presence.”

A haughty laugh escaped him, warm and comforting in a way that seemed to bite back the chill that hung in the air. “You’ve no need to feel unworthy, Ryder. But, it is. One I’ve worked my ass off for. Trust me when I say that this title wasn’t just handed to me. Those clients came to me because I’m reliable, because I keep my word. I give more than what they had anticipated, and they like that.”

“I have a question. Have you ever…” Lukas swallowed thickly, the words hanging on the tip of his tongue like a drop that didn’t want to fall. “I guess, have you ever done things with people to advance in the game a little bit faster? I know _that’s_ a definite thing. And by things, I mean… Sexual things.”

Reyes scoffed, the roll of his eyes making the ginger's stomach drop in a way he hadn't expected to feel.

“Well…” When the tawny man hesitated to answer, he continued on, ignoring the nagging feeling that he was sticking his foot in his mouth. “I know that Ainsley’s done that before.” The imperceptible stiffening of Reyes’ shoulders flew right over his head. “Back on Earth, before she got involved with the development of the Nexus and before she started her internship with Addison, she worked for this sleazy volus that she hated. He held the rights to the things she’d paint, and…"

Lukas shook his head with an imperceptible shrug. "Well, it was for her art, and she said she’d do anything for it.”

Words suddenly left the raven, a visible tense in his shoulders making the man beside him shut right up. Hurt briefly flickered over his dark features, golden eyes glazing over as they focused ahead on the ever-changing amalgamation of lights, quiet. He almost felt… Guilt, maybe? The fact that he hadn’t been there to keep that from happening to her, undeservingly so; Irritation pricked at his heart, full lips pressing together as he tried to find the words that couldn’t seem to form -

“Oh, I – I mean,” the ginger awkwardly stuttered and skittered over each word, melting into a mess that seemed to make it much, much worse. Infinitely worse. The irritation on his face made his skin crawl and he searched for something, anything, as a way to smooth over the situation. “I – I...”

Why did it hurt him so terribly?

A cold chill that rushed through the air, kissing it with ice, only accentuated the spark that hit Reyes' heart at the mere thought of her face, hands digging into the pockets of his trench coat as he pulled it tighter together for some semblance of warmth. It felt useless.

He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that she made him feel so -

“Forget it,” his voice almost sounded foreign against the sudden whip of wind, “Lukas.”

With that, the subject dropped.

Lukas felt like an ass.

A step that skidded short to a small stairwell gave way to a locked set of effervescent doors, colors flickering and changing in muted hazes in an alluring aura about its expanse. Music pulsed and boomed behind it, dancing through the metal-grated floor and rushing through their booted feet in a wave that would've sent Reyes’ head spinning if he hadn’t been expecting it.

The clink, followed by a _shink_ of a slot of metal situated in the center of the doors parting, was barely audible over the pounding sounds, one right after the other in an all-too-quick pace. Eyes peered through the hole, beady and dark, but surrounded by plates. A turian. Red flicked around the eyes in smooth strokes, painted in intricate war-patterns just barely hinted that changed with the wave of lights around him. _“Password?”_

_“Skutts, you moron! It’s **him**!”_ A voice, feminine and nervous, made the other cringe, shrinking away from her touch. _“He don’t need no password, remember? He’s Keema’s!”_

_“Wait – Vidal?"_  He sounded shocked - Scared, almost. _"Reyes Vidal? The Reyes Vidal?”_

“The one and only,” a grin pulled at full lips, nearly curling into a snarl the longer they kept him waiting outside of the doors.

_“O-Oh shit,”_ the nasally voice quickly stuttered off, a click and a hiss parting the doors while the cooling sensation of hydraulics steamed around their silhouetted bodies.

Lights nearly blinded them, bright and endlessly moving as the smoke dissipated and the noises rolled over their bodies in an exhilarated rush that sent a course of goosebumps across his skin; Waves of impossibly-lit colors splashed stark against white marble floors, pouring over black and red-laced walls, only interrupted by neon signs flickering on and off in broken patterns that were always changing.

Gamma cracked, minute, before it exploded in an eruption of color that formed vastly different shapes in sync with the music, entirely too intricate for the typical club life in Kadara.

Keema’s been experimenting.

People flooded all around them within mere seconds, bodies pressing and grinding together, voices upon voices overlapping in an overwhelming hiss with the bass-boosted music that seemed never-ending; Each step was pounding, the edges of their visions hindered with each pulse as they grew harder and faster.

“She runs this place by herself,” Reyes’ voice was barely audible over the cacophony of voices and sounds, too much. “Keema, that is. Took her a few years. Finally managed to get it up and running after I came into the picture, of course. Helped her get enough resources to make this happen, so I earned myself a spot on the VIP list.”

It was incredibly difficult for Lukas to focus. Every beat, every touch, every movement was jarring in a way that he just couldn’t explain, the usually stead-fast hold on his composure rapidly slipping like sand through his splayed fingers. Words didn’t seem to want to leave, a crack left in their place. He cleared his throat, searching for any semblance of control. “Ah.”

A pause in his steps made him crash into the tawny man’s warm, muscular back, green eyes impossibly widening when he glanced over his shoulder and he strained to listen to his words. The worry on his face made him hesitate. His gaze lowered to his full lips, watching him repeat his muffled words. “You good?”

Lukas numbly nodded, his soft, freckled features somber. He couldn’t speak.

“She should be up here,” the usual, rich timbre of his voice was lost to the music. Numb legs followed his steps, eyes trained on his body so as not to lose him in the thickness of the crowd, resisting the urge to grasp onto him for comfort. One twist followed another, the curve of metal-twined staircases that seemed to entwine up the length of the wall dizzying to his senses –

A quick turn led to wide open doors, neon beads linked together hanging over the entryway. Perfume littered the pungent aroma of alcohol-soaked air, the pulse of music dancing just beneath their feet before it faded behind sound-proof walls with a relaxing step.

“Keema,” the sharp cut of his voice through the suddenly muted air made the ginger jump, standing out against his sensitive hearing. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Oh, same goes for you, Vidal.” She looked like the epitome of comfort, lounging in a wide, leather chair below a set of lace curtains that reflected the effervescent lights hung through the room. It looked like a sanctuary, brightly-colored pillows and blankets displayed and covering a set of couches that formed in an l-shape around the room, atop a fluffed rug that sat over metal-bolted floors. “You usually hate coming and visiting my little place here. What are you up to now?”

“Checking in on my favorite angara, of course.” Idle footsteps danced through the air as he crossed the distance to fall into the couch adjacent from her, his body relaxing back against the cool leather with a sigh. “And the music is all too loud for my tastes here – At least Kian keeps it at a respectable level in Tartarus.”

“Oh, please – He only does that to keep _you_ happy because you pay him a pretty, shiny credit chit. I bet he has a million complaints lined up through his doors about the music not being loud enough. And I thought that guy down at the docks was your favorite angara - You two seemed close for awhile there.”

Reyes scoffed, the brief mention of the man making his lips curl up in the slightest hint of a snarl. “People change.”

She knew that look all too well. “Ah.”

“Anyways," a soft sigh left him before he cleared his throat, an ankle crossing over a knee as his hand carded through his jet-black hair. "I also came here to ask if you’ve received any information from the scouts we sent out. The trial is approaching faster than I wanted it to, and we're running out of time.”

“I’m afraid that I have not." The impatience that flickered through his eyes made her roll hers. "Some of them have gone missing, and others refuse to tell me anything. I only met with one of them in person for an update and they looked as if they'd seen a ghost when I asked. I'm not sure what's going on, but something has our people spooked.”

“Wait,” thick brows quickly furrowed, confusion etching across his face as he sat forward, “what?”

“I know. That was my reaction, too." Keema let out a quiet breath as she observed her fingers, focusing on the ring settled on her index finger while the other toyed with it. A distraction. She usually hates distracting herself - This is serious. "Something strange is going on within our ranks and it's worrying me – Have you conducted the weekly interviews yet?”

“What, the scans for any discrepancies in the ranks that we do once a week? Not yet.” Reyes shook his head, a hand reaching up to card through strewn hair before his brain briefly registered the other man standing quietly in the corner. He cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders. “I got tangled up in this whole, ‘Ainsley is in jail being held for trial, where she’ll probably be charged with treason and sentenced to death’ thing. I had asked Javek to take care of them this time. Did he send you anything yet?”

“No.” A shaky breath left her as she met his gaze - The look that settled in her galaxy-like eyes, a fear he's never seen before within her usually calm exterior, sent shockwaves dancing down his spine in a cold brush. “He’s… He’s also missing.”

His heart skipped a beat as goosebumps ran down his skin. “What?!”

“Some of our most important people have gone missing, Reyes. At least a dozen of them. I’ve received no comms, no messages, no location responses when I ping their omnitools, no sightings reported from those I've sent out to find and those I've told to alert me if they see one of them – They’re off the grid, in every sense of the word. That includes Javek.”

“That’s – That’s impossible, Keema.” An incredulous chuckle made him scoff. Desperation etched a line through his veins, chasing his fleeting composure that threatened to crack with the irritation that chased after it as he continued, weighing his voice down with an anger that was just barely hinted. Golden eyes met blue ones, glued. “I spoke with him this morning – How is he gone? If he was taken, it was today.”

“I’m not sure how, Reyes. I’d actually received a message from him last night, giving me the weekly reports on our flora in the Draullir caves. That was the last time I’d heard from him.”

“Did anything seem off? Was it just an email this time or a video like last time?”

“He sent it in an email this time. And no, nothing that I could tell, other than that it came suspiciously late at night. He usually sends it before eight, mostly because he knows that if it's any later I won't read it, but he sent it at three in the morning. The report was typical, although there seemed to be some sort of breakthrough for his trees he’s been trying to get to bud. That's probably why it was late. I was excited for him, but in the greater scheme of things –“

“Keema,” a gentle, swaying voice with a lilted accent broke through their words, gazes locked and heated in a tangled web that couldn’t unravel enough to grasp her attention. Music flitted behind her body from the doorway, light and airy. “A fight broke out downstairs. Want me to take care of it since you seem to be busy with our guests?”

“No.” Her body fought against her as she slowly stood, hesitant. Their gazes lingered, unwilling to budge, unwilling to move, before she broke the trance in a snap and took a step away. When it finally happened, her eyes tearing away from his in a near-dizzying sensation, it felt as though a weight had been lifted off of the room. She sighed. “I will, Lilleth – I’ll be right back, you two.”

“Who’s…” Lukas almost didn’t want to ask, the question hanging in the air as the angara’s footsteps disappeared into the pounding mass of music. Despite the absence of her presence, the tension was still tangible, radiating off of the tawny man in waves that made him linger on the his words. “Who’s Javek?”

“Ainsley’s best friend,” a rough sigh left the man, a pain in his heart and a pull in his brain. Hands irritably rubbed down his face, stubble tickling the tips of his fingers as they hesitated on his jaw. It’s been awhile since he last shaved. He leaned forward, elbows meeting his knees as his mind raced with thoughts that couldn’t seem to leave. “Shit - Just when we get one back, the other one gets snatched from right under us. I don’t understand.”

“How is he missing? I mean…”

“Damn,” a curse muttered under his breath made his head shake, fingers pinching the tip of his nose. “I don’t know. That’s what we need to find out. And we can’t let Ainsley know about this – She’ll be _devastated_ if she finds out.”

An irritated sigh left Reyes as he stood while a slightly shaky hand carded through his dark hair; Golden eyes stared at the rug-strewn floor, quiet in thought that seemed to consume him, endless and never-ending. He swallowed thickly as he tucked them away before clearing his throat, starting to aimlessly walk about the room. A distraction - He needs a distraction. “Guess we’re playing a waiting game until Keema gets back.”

“Yeah.” Lukas swallowed thickly. "I guess so."

A second hung in the air, the silence between them near-overwhelming, resonating in the quiet despite the abrupt breaking of footsteps dancing around them while they idly paced through the room, before –

“This volus guy you mentioned earlier,” fingers grasped the handle of a whiskey bottle as Reyes spoke, tilting it up to read the words etched onto the label. It was the relief of a distraction needed for him, the unsteady anger sparking in his thought at the mere thought enough to overwhelm him. Honeyed eyes peered up briefly from the amber to meet vibrant, green ones, thick eyelashes framing his vision. “Who was he?”

“Barla Von. Typically, he’s an information broker and helps people with their finance." Lukas focused his attention on the array of bottles stacked high on white-marbled shelves that tracked lines up to the ceiling, awe almost pulling at his words. "But, I guess he decided to branch out and expand his horizon by taking Ainsley on as a client. Had her sign an intricate contract while he managed her art for her, and the fine print was… Not visible. Or she didn’t read it.”

“I highly doubt that she didn’t read the terms, Lukas.” A soft clink echoed through the room as he sat the bottle back down on the glass-lined table. He turned his attention to another bottle sat beside it, his free hand slinking into his pant’s front pocket as he let out a soft sigh. A light hint of adoration softened his tone. “She’s not stupid.”

“I know that.” Lukas sighed. “Well, I don’t know what happened, but before she even realized it, her artwork was legally copyrighted to his name and he held the rights to it in the palms of his tiny, stupid hands. He had her do unsavory things, sometimes borderline too much from what she's told me, just for her to have a chance to host her own, little art show.”

"Of course," a huff escaped Reyes under his breath, irritated, heated, before his eyes squeezed shut and it grew into a laugh that felt out of place. His jaw clenched as he cleared his throat, breaking the laugh, and words grit out through ground teeth as his hand rubbed at his jaw in a distracting pattern. “I know Barla Von - He’s a little piece of cocky shit.”

“Yeah, he is.”

Honeyed eyes met moss green, interlocking and held together in such a way that he couldn’t rip his gaze away; An intensity flickered behind the amber, a strange look dancing across the tawny man’s dark features that made his lips slightly part in a quiet gasp He almost looked sullen, sad, barely there, but there. “Did she ever get one?”

“No.”

His heart broke.

“Sorry, fellas.” The steady sound of Keema’s smooth voice broke the stream of thoughts that had just started to rush through his mind, his shoulders relaxing with a soft breath. “Drunkards downstairs got into an argument about beer and decided to throw some tables around for fun. Easy fix, had them both kicked out and banned from my lovely establishment.”

“Good,” Reyes swallowed thickly, his gaze remaining locked on Lukas’s. A moment hung in the air between them, tension thick and tangible in a way that nearly unsettled him, before he looked away. He missed the way the ginger’s shoulders relaxed with a shaky breath while he continued, nodding his head. “Sounds typical.”

“It is.” Her smile and the effortless joy that lit up her features would’ve disturbed him, had he not known that she didn’t tolerate drunks - She enjoyed messing with them. A little too much, a little too far. “Anywho, back to business. I’ve taken the liberty of compiling all of the intel I’ve received up to this point while those morons were being escorted out. I -”

_“Reyes,”_ static broke through the air, orange glinting across the red-tinted room and swirling over the haired expanse of his forearm when his omni-tool flickered on. _“It’s Aylin – I have a problem back at the colony.”_

Keema hesitated, a gasp breaking her train of thoughts. Her eyes shot wide open, a pause in her words making her voice waver in shock before her arms fell lamely to her sides. “Sister?”

_“Keema?"_  The surprise was hard to miss in her voice. _"What_ _are you –“_

Reyes shook his head, interrupting them as his eyes fell shut. “What’s going on?”

_“I – I can’t talk about it out in the open.”_ A trembling breath left her before her voice grew softer, quieter, the fear near-tangible that chilled the room to its core and an eerie silence fell upon them. _“There’s something dark going on, something that’s happening to our people and affecting our village, and… I… Oh, Stars – They’re outside -”_

“Outside?" Thick brows sharply furrowed. "Aylin, who’s outside?”

_“I-I need to see you in person, Reyes.”_ Her voice was a hair above a whisper, terrified, hanging on a thread. _“Now!””_

He glanced up as the line started to fade, fleeting static meeting fleeting static; He caught the ginger’s gaze for a moment, a second, the scared look of confusion met and mixing before he imperceptibly nodded and swallowed thickly. “We’re on our way right now. Stay safe and don’t leave where you are.”

* * *

_  
“Ainsley?”_

The monotonous voice that blipped through their private channel caught her off-guard. Fingers tightened their iron grip on the pencil, nearly snapping the modern, wooden length in half with a subtle crack while she leaned back, taking in a sharp breath to calm her frazzled nerves. Ainsley cleared her throat, tired eyes staring down at the charcoal-scrubbed, smudge-stained paper.

She felt frustrated.

Nothing helped – Nothing made her feel better, made her feel _okay_ ; like she can sit back with a breath and relax as if her future didn’t depend on the upcoming trial that she was doomed to lose. She couldn’t escape, couldn’t leave, fear slamming into her over and over and over like a glitched contraption, broken and never-ending, trapped; One thing hit her right after the other, ripping through her like a bullet one at a time until it’s chamber was emptied, and she was gone.

A hand irritably rubbed at her un-scarred cheek, a reminiscent itch etching its way up the smooth, freckled skin in mock pain directed at the other. The mere thought of the scar marring the other one made a chill kiss her spine, unsettled, uncomfortable. “Yeah, Sam?”

_“I’ve noticed something interesting – You seem to hold Sloane Kelly in high regards, despite her unpopular reputation. I wanted to ask why you do.”_

The tense in her shoulders hurt more than she wanted to.

It was hard to ignore, panic kicking in the back of her brain with each thought that seemed to race, heavy and filled with - “I suppose you could say that I do.” She sighed before her brain could short-circuit, soft scribbling rustling the heavy air as she got back to work. Distraction – She needed a distraction. “I mean, she did kind of make a name for herself after being forcefully kicked off of the Nexus.”

Ainsley hesitated, green eyes narrowing as she took in a sharp intake of breath. Words came out in a rush, each accentuated by the harsh scribe of her wrist and growing angrier with each second, heated. “In which she played a big part of creating and making sure that it was a legitimate thing that was ready to go off without a hitch before everyone went to sleep, in which she got no fucking credit for. They took advantage of her and left her to _rot_. I’d be fucking mad if that happened to me, too, Sam.”

_“It did happen to you.”_

“What?” The way that he said it, even and steady as if it didn't mean anything to him, made her heart pause, a chill kissing her skin. She swallowed thickly, eyes slowly widening as she stared down at the smudged paper. “I – What?”

_“You were exiled like Sloane Kelly was. Like Mr. Vidal was.”_

“But you said that I –“

_“I lied.”_

“Uh," shock gave way to anger, snapping and irritated, "artificial intelligence doesn't lie – It’s literally not possible for them to do.” Fingers flexed, the pencil dropping and landing in a mess of a clatter on her desk. It hurt, fingers stiff and sore, before she realized that she’d been holding it too tightly. “What’s your game, Sam? If this is you trying to improve your humor algorithms, it isn’t funny.”

_“I am not joking around, Ainsley."_  It could've been considered guilt, really, the way his voice faltered just the tiniest bit, hardly there, but there, if she listened closely enough. _"Given your circumstances and the condition that I had found you in once our connection had finally stabilized, I believed that telling you the truth would make the situation gravely worse.”_

“You…” A trembling breath left her, confused eyes searching the white-lined wall in front of her. A knot formed in her throat, threatening to overwhelm her before she swallowed it down. Her lips trembled. “You actually _lied_ to me?”

_“Yes, I did.”_

“Holy shit,” irritation gripped ahold of her, forcing her to stand without a second thought while the sketchbook on her lap fell, clattering to the floor in a cacophony of noises. An itch on her nose made it scrunch, a fist coming up to rub at it, over and over and _over_ until it was nearly raw. Nails scratched a hard pattern down her throat, raking across the skin and leaving angry trails in her wake, before stopping to rest against her jaw. “I – I don’t –“

“Ryder,” a steady voice called out from behind the closed doors to her room, making her mouth clamp shut and the knot to dissipate in a rush that nearly sent her head spinning. Heavy silence fell over her, her mouth opening and closing with words that couldn’t seem to find a way to escape as he continued. Her heart skipped a beat. “Time for food. You hungry?”

Tired eyes glanced over at the door, her mind rolling over the empty question while her thoughts struggled to collect themselves - Oh. A slight idea hit her, unsavory and wrong, but… She wanted it. No - She _needed_ it. The slightest nod of her head made her breath hitch, her heart and her mind torn in an endless fight between each other. “Yeah, I am.”

Hydraulics hissed, steam oozing into the room as the metal parted to reveal a guard, one she was unfamiliar with, standing at attention. Human. His hair was messy, a thick mop of brown hair combed back over honey-brown skin, scars etched into his skin in ways she couldn't even imagine. In his hands were a ration of bottled water and a protein bar, the basics, while an unreadable expression flickering across his face made her falter.

She willed her voice to work as she grasped the items from his hands, taking in a soft breath when her eyes met his, hazel-loved, and she hesitantly smiled. “T-Thanks.”

"Yeah," his answer came as an after-thought as he started to take a step away, and she stuttered. A cold realization settled into her bones and rushed through her veins as she awkwardly reached for him with full hands, unable to form the words to keep him from going as she struggled to find the thought of what she wanted -

It clicked then, finally, when he glanced back at her and a chill kissed each raise of her spine. Oblivion – She’s going through oblivion withdrawal, an itch insatiable and a hunger burning just hidden, just beneath her subconscious. It pulled at the back of her head, the tension behind her eyes enough to make her scream, pulling and pulling and _pulling,_ tighter and tighter -

“Wait!” Her exclamation came out louder and later than she intended, the spike in her heart making goosebumps dot her skin. His eyes widened, a brow quirking up as she stumbled over her words and took a step closer to him. He didn't move. “I… I have a question.”

The slightest nod of his head urged her to continue.

“Do – Do you –“ Words almost didn’t want to seem to leave, a crack in her voice making her clear her throat. It wasn't that she couldn't talk, it was the thought of what she wanted, what she needed, and what she was going to ask that made her unable to move. She took in a soft breath, slightly shaking her head. “Listen, I know that Sloane has something that our medical team tends to grow and… Well, sell to the addicts that are in the slums, basically, and I -”

It clicked in his mind, the connections made without the words that failed her. He scoffed, arms folding over his chest as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, meeting her frazzled gaze. “You talkin' about oblivion?”

She couldn't speak, then, her head numbly nodding, abrupt and quick.

A shaky breath left her when the guard glanced down the hallway, one side to the other, the slightest fall in his shoulders making the hair on her neck stand on edge. He leaned in close, a hand meeting her freckled elbow, and his voice grew low, gentle, dancing below the undertone. His touch almost burned a hole through her skin, enough to make her shoulders hitch. She felt numb. “You need a hookup?”

It felt wrong.

But she needed it, her body relaxing in an instant at the thought of it in her hands, a breath escaping.

“God, yes.”

* * *

  
Holographic leaves flickered and crunched under the weight of their heavy boots, fleeting moonlight peeking out from under the canopy of coral-like trees that loomed over their heads and sprawled out over a sea of muted-orange sand that stood out even amidst the endless darkness that loomed over the horizon. Kadara nights were beautiful, really, more stunning than the blinding desert amid the Govorkam sun in mid-afternoon.

“This place looks even more beautiful at night,” Reyes started under his breath, his words hesitating at first as he stepped over the stutter of fallen leaves that danced in a colorful array beneath his feet. Golden eyes peered up through the shadows of holographic trees, taking in the sight of three-lined moons growing in size over one another that cast endless shadows dancing over their bodies, effortless and lovely in a way that took his breath away. “And… Strangely, prettier.”

“I can’t believe this place,” Lukas fervently shook his head as he touched the pattern of a bush that stuttered over and over if he approached it too closely, the hologram fading before it burst back into life, vibrant and vivacious when he took his hand away. “This place is made entirely of… I don’t even know, really. Holograms? I didn't even know that was possible.”

“Yeah, they're holograms.”

“How?”

“You know,” Reyes hesitated for a moment, dark brows briefly furrowing in thought, before he simply shrugged and continued past him. “I don’t really know. I’ve… I’ve never realized that this place existed before last week, so everything is still new and surprising to me, as well. This is Keema’s birthplace, so remind me to ask her about it later. I know she came from Aya, and the angara on Aya tend to have an affinity for extravagant things.”

A step through flowering branches revealed the usually lively village empty and quiet, lanterns and lights ground out while tile-lined houses were bathed in a darkness metaphoric and physical that weighed down the air. Not even the familiar scurry of spitbugs and the typical squawk of vultures danced through the town, an eerie silence hanging in its wake that sent goosebumps rushing across their skin.

“…Hello?” The crack of Lukas’ voice only deepened it, insects falling silent. “Wow.”

“This…” Reyes stepped over a fallen, coral-lined branch, static sparking and wires electric beneath his foot. Confusion flickered across his dark features, taking in the strange sight of the town, dead. “Is very strange. You heard her when she spoke with me over our comms, right? I wasn’t hearing things. This place looks like it hasn't been inhabited in weeks.”

“No, you weren’t. Do you think that they –“

“Reyes!” Aylin’s voice was soft, hesitant, but frantic, calling out from the distance in a soft whisper. It quickly caught his attention, galaxy-like eyes peering out from the lining of stairs leading up to her house; They were a brilliant contrast to the black that surrounded them, fear widening them. Her hand quickly gestured towards her spot, near-desperate. “Over here, quick! ‘Fore they see you!”

Their feet moved without a moment’s hesitation, footsteps echoing yet muffled when they moved into action. Aylin pushed a step up and crouched down, rolling to the side to allow them access through the narrow entrance.

It was a tight squeeze, but they managed to fit. She lowered the slotted metal, clicking it into place and securing it, before motioning for them to follow her with the nod of her head. Her hands reached for purchase on the hole-lined floor above their heads, winding through darkness before stopping short of a hatch that tapped against her foot.

"Don't speak," with the flick of her wrist and the soft hiss of hydraulics, she popped the hatch open and fell through. Reyes followed suit after her, careful not to drop down on top of her as he slid through the narrowed hole, and stepped aside to allow Lukas to lower himself down. It was quick, rushing by in a blur as the hatch reattached and hiss with an affirmation that they were locked in, safe.

A breath hitched in the tawny man’s chest when he turned around, honeyed eyes taking in the vast expanse of her basement –

Monitor stacked upon monitor above an endless desk lit the room in a brilliance of white and blue that was near-blinding, static hissing from a broken radio sat on a desk in the corner while holograms flickered over the monitors' vibrant screens. Footage played over and over, stuck on repeat, like a broken record as they relived various moments of the days, melting into weeks, over and over.

Cups and trash littered the brim of free space over the cold metal of her desk, datapads scattered and pieces of actual paper crumpled, yet neat in a way he couldn't explain. It looked like a mess, photographs magnetically-locked to the blue-studded walls with pictures of people he couldn’t recognize, aside from the familiar purple of her sister attached to her blue hip.

His voice didn’t want to work as he turned around, meeting Aylin's gaze. “What’s going on?”

“Most of the village was taken.” A somber tone grasped ahold of her voice, steadying as she cleared her throat and approached her desk. Colorful eyes glanced up at a screen stuck on repeat, the sight of armored and armed people storming the front of the village with no remorse, a nightmare unabridged and lived. Sadness grasped ahold of her, pulling at her voice. “I think they caught wind of me speaking with you and your friend a few days ago about that woman’s whereabouts.”

“What?” Lukas shook his head, grasping the back of her desk’s chair. He watched the footage roll, over and over, searching it for an answer, something, anything, as he searched for the right words. “What - Who caught wind?”

“I – I – The Charlatan, that’s who. That’s all we ever deal with – Charlatan this, Charlatan that, ‘we have to take your kids to this place because the Charlatan said so’.” The venom in her voice, heavy and heated, grew more vivid and rough before she glanced over her shoulder and met Reyes’ gaze. Her expression fell, tears pricking the corners of her bright eyes. “We’ve dealt with so much, Reyes. I’m at a loss – I wasn’t expecting to lose my family today.”

“Is there anything in the footage?”

“Just this. I’ve gone over it for hours, now.” Her body fell with a sigh into the chair, fingertips getting to work tapping in the encryption code to unlock her terminal. A soft chime broke the static of the air, followed by a gentle chirp. “Something corrupted the data after they stormed the village’s entrance, and I haven’t been able to recover it thus far. When I called you earlier, it was... Just after they'd arrived. I was panicking.”

“Let me see the beginning again,” Reyes let out a soft breath, the pull on his heart enough to make his voice waver. He swallowed thickly, steadying himself while his eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, focusing all of his attention on the first frame –

“Wait,” his finger tapped the screen, causing it to mute and the hologram to roll in an endless, buzzing wave before brimming back to life. “Enhance this screen and zoom in on this man’s face.”

The steady tap of keys danced through the room. With a blip, the monitor was enhanced and focused on the army’s bodies, the rush of armor near-dizzying. She tapped a button, causing the footage to freeze, before her fingertips pinched together against the screen and scrolled into one of the intruder’s faces. “This one?”

“Yes.” A slow breath left him as his thick, dark brows furrowed, fingertips steepling in front of his face in thought as he searched the screen for the answers that hung on the tip of his tongue. The man was wide, muscular, obviously krogan; His features were mostly obscured in this screenshot, before it switched to the next, revealing him taking his helmet off, and it hit him -

A chilled rush ran down his spine, inciting goosebumps that followed with the wake of anger that threatened to blind him. Golden eyes widened as he glanced back, staring at the ginger for a moment, a second, too long, a revelation making his heart stop in his chest –

“It’s Dartak.”

* * *

  
Bloodshot eyes glazed over while they watched her feet idly swing over the edge of her bed, endless, endless; Her sketchbook laid in her lap, fingertips tracing indiscernible rhythms over the raised braille of his signature with a numbness that made her feel everything and nothing, the pattern etched into the backing of her sketchbook. The texture was a sensation that made her feel at peace in a way that she just couldn’t explain.

No words, lost in thought.

She’d been staring at it for hours, now.

It scared her, almost – The thought of _him_ , of Reyes Vidal, of the well-known smuggler with a golden tongue, of the tawny man perched over the railing in the effervescent lighting of Tartarus that accented his features like a wash of poetry unabridged, made her feel… Conflicted. Her heart didn’t know what to do, a longing that wasn’t certain it belonged there –

It wasn’t the idea of her liking him that scared her, really.

It was the idea that these circumstances, pieces falling into place and thread unraveling in a dizzying rush, that made her nervous, that made her hesitate. Fate, almost, seemed to have taken ahold of her. This feeling? She hasn’t felt anything like this in a while, and she wasn’t sure how to go about it –

If, _if_ she wanted to go about it.

Honestly, it didn’t even seem possible, their lives an impossible probability –

Like clockwork, a ping on her omni-tool ripped her right out from her hazed thoughts that seemed to melt and twist together in waves that left her breathless if she remained there long enough. Numb, tingling fingertips rushed to type in her passcode, fumbling over the holographic keys, and tired eyes strained to follow the blurred lines of text in a silent plea to focus.

Reyes.

Of course – It’s always Reyes.

A hesitate smile pulled at her lips, slow and muggy, before it felt as though her face were about to melt off.

> _From: Reyes  
>  _ _To: Ainsley_
> 
> _How’s my favorite person holding up so far?_

Her heart nearly stopped beating as her eyes glossed over the words, stuck on repeat. Favorite person? Favorite person.  _Favorite -_ He’s out to kill her, isn’t he? Replying almost seemed impossible, but she was willing to try. For him, she’s willing to try anything, the idea more daunting than she was willing to admit.

Keys melted together, the fine lines and bare spaces between the orange-tinted, holograph screens melting and oozing together in a near-blinding haze that trembling fingers couldn’t seem to find purchase on. It hurt to hold her hand up, fingers bent over the keyboard as she stared down at it, trying to find where the buttons she needed were –

She has to try.

For him.

> _From: Ainsley  
>  _ _To: Reyes_
> 
> _Iii ‘m okay, I uguess. Ha ad a wiered moemnt earlire with Smam, but it’s ojkay._

Alright, that… That definitely wasn’t her most coherent moment, but it’ll do. A moment of silence fell upon her as her finger hesitated over the send key, waiting and waiting, for a sign to tell her to send it, before she steadied herself the best that she could and tapped the holobutton. It sent with a soft chime that took her heart with it.

Minutes rolled by, one right after the other, before she realized – It’s been quite a while since he’s last replied.

Did she say something wrong?

Her heart dropped, sinking into her listless stomach that kept flipping, repeated, and she collapsed back onto her bed with a sigh that made nausea wash over her.

A blip caught her attention, breaking her from her sad mutiny, and made her heart skip an unsteady beat. Tired fingers moved as quickly as she could manage, unlocking her email terminal in such a rush that she couldn't think, couldn't breathe -

> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _Ainsley…_
> 
> _Are you okay? What’s going on? Did they do something to you?_

Her heart nearly stopped beating, a pain in her chest making her swallow thickly. Ginger brows hurriedly furrowed – She could almost hear the panic mingling with worry in his voice if she thought about it hard enough. Wait, she can hear him? Her eyes slowly narrowed before she fervently shook her head. Focus, Ainsley.

 

> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _Nothingni is owrng? Whyh?_
> 
>  
> 
> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _You’re worrying me. Really, truly, worrying me. Are you even reading what you’re sending to me? Glance up at the previous messages you’ve sent and tell me what’s wrong with them.  
>    
>  _

Green eyes lazily narrowed, warily flicking up to stare at the email she had just barely managed to get out of her. They searched for an answer, trying to find what he was trying to point out to her, but she found nothing in its wake. It seemed coherent enough, really, given her circumstances.

What is he complaining about?

> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _Notohnig! Ntohing is weorng wwith thme?? Wwha’ts wrong wtihn mthem?_
> 
>  
> 
> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _You’re making a lot of typos and spelling errors – The whole nine yards and then some. More than usual, even. You’re making me extremely anxious right now._
> 
> _Are you okay?  
>  _
> 
> _Please tell me that you’re okay. I can’t stand this._
> 
>  
> 
> _From: Ainsley_
> 
> _I’’im just finfe. I’m fine, I’mn fine. Are you okay?  
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _From: Reyes_
> 
> _Progress, I suppose. I’ll take it, for now. I’m alright – I’m more worried about you. It’s hard enough for me to have to sit here and simply message you, but it’s even more difficult for me to sit here while seeing this unfold before my very eyes._
> 
> _Please be safe, Ainsley. I’m not quite sure how I’d manage to go about life without you in it._

It made her heart hurt in a way that rendered her speechless. He wasn’t sure how he’d go about life without her in it? Why? They haven’t known each other that long – Hell, they’ve barely even interacted _in person_ , let alone the fact that they had started off on the wrong foot when they first met, heated gazes locking and shoulders squaring as if they were going to fight. And given the whole…

The mere thought of what had happened just a few days ago sent a wave of shock coursing through her diluted veins. It mixed with the fear eating away at the back of her mind that had been muted, flaring and weighing down on her as her thoughts trailed to what she had just done minutes ago, and her stomach dropped, sinking like a stone that was going to drown her, no air, no room to think.

Guilt threatened to eat her alive.

* * *

  
The panic that had started to ebb away at his subconscious was enough for his vision to tunnel, hyper-focusing on the blindingly-bright, orange-glinted screen of his omni-tool that caused a colorful, vivid splash of color to splay over his body. Static pricked his vision, making it difficult for him to read; Honeyed eyes trailed over the holographic words, over and over, searching for a hint, a clue, a reason why that seemed to hang on the tip of his tongue.

Something was off, a strange vibe emanating from her words that made his skin crawl, his senses still raised and his thoughts still worried since he’d gotten back from Aylin’s village just a few minutes ago; The discovery of Dartak's betrayal was... Not what he was expecting - It's not every day he finds out that someone he's trusted for years has gone behind his back, playing for someone else. It sent him into overdrive, and the more he thought about her emails, the tone, the flow -

That scared him.

More than anything else has.

They were jumbled, a mess unlike her. Is she hurt? Is she in danger? Is someone threatening her? Did the guards give something to her that they shouldn’t have? Did they force her to take drugs? Oblivion? Crush? Are they –

The train of thoughts that rushed through his mind, hazed and melted together, stumbled over to the memory of an email he had pitched to the krogan stuck in his mind minutes before he had set out to the village, asking him to check on Ainsley and give him an update on how she was doing that day.

A chill ran up his spine, the mere thought of him anywhere near her -

He fervently shook his head in disbelief, in denial, black hair falling into widening, amber-loved eyes as a sharp breath left him and he leaned against the cold metal of his desk for support. Red washed over his dark features, the softest hint of the muted, pounding music from Tartarus beneath his feet making his stomach flip in a nauseating wave. The longer he thought about it, the more a slight tremor started in his hands, gradual, subtle, but there, increasing in size and fervor before -

Breathe, Reyes.

_You can’t help her if you’re panicking._

He nodded, his thoughts a tangled rush that fought against one another as his hand roughly carded through his dark hair, briskly brushing it out of his face -

He can fix this. He can stop this. 

A message, an email, something, anything, a warning sent out to ones that could apprehend him before he could do anything, fingertips hurridly typing a jumbled, trembled message to any of his contacts hidden within the Outcasts. Someone able, someone closer, lest his body moves without a thought in a rush, no hesitation swallowing him and pressuring him into action to the Headquarters and ruining _everything,_ ever plan he's carefully laid out - 

Anger threatened to ignite in his eyes, flames flickering and licking, hungered; No, he couldn’t even think about it, a fervent shake of his head enough to steady him. A sharp sigh left him as he looked away, lost in the terminal that sat across from him, lights dancing in an unsteady rhythm – It almost seemed to taunt him, even, the alluring thought of storming their hideout and finding that betrayer; A bullet etching into the lines of his scaled forehead, savoring the grotesque life leaving his small, beady eyes, before -

Reyes cleared his throat.

Focus.

His attention shifted to the email that suddenly, blindingly lit up on the holo-screen of the terminal, the title haunting him and making him feel off as golden eyes glanced over at it, stuck. It interrupted his panicked overlay of thoughts, making him pause, eyes narrowing as he pushed away from the desk and made his way over to it to read the text stuttering across the screen.

> _From: Keema_  
>  _To: Reyes  
>  _ _Subject: Sloane is throwing a party._

His heart sank, a breathless gasp caught in his chest as he continued.

> _Reyes,_
> 
> _A little bit of intel has revealed to me that our lovely, sweet friend is planning a get together for the angaran locals. It’s one of her usual soirees to appease hungry, political appetites and, of course, an excuse for her to get black-out drunk with no remorse._
> 
> _I’m not sure if Ainsley will be allowed to attend this party, but it’s highly plausible that she might make an appearance – Word has it that the favored Outcast members will have a little bit of a showcase, and, despite her current status, I know that Sloane won’t be able to resist rubbing her in people’s faces._
> 
> _After all, she **is** the supposed favorite, right?_
> 
> _Let me know what you want to do.  
>  _

The mere wording was enough to make fire course through his veins, blood boiling and surging through his body in a rush that was dizzying, euphoric; Maddening, almost. The fact that Sloane would do that, to show off her prisoner, to show off someone she claims to favor and hold in high regards whilst keeping her contained and dangling her fate in front of her like a sick game, in the palm of her hand -

But, if this party meant that he had a chance to see her once more? The mere thought of his hands touching her again, fingers tangling and intertwining, made his heart skip an unsteady beat; The sight of her smile, bright and brilliant and _warm_ , delicate against the contrast of freckle-covered skin framed by lively, ginger hair was enough to leave him breathless, wanting more.

There’s no hesitation –

A soft blip broke his chain of thoughts, his enthralled trance over the idea of her breaking as eyes widened at the light, abrupt noise; His body moved before he could even process it, before he could even tell himself to move, fingers hurriedly keying in his passcode to his omni-tool to view the boxed notification that lamely hung on the screen -

A message from her, from Ainsley, the one that catches his attention more than anything else could possibly ever manage. He quickly opened it, fear etching itself into his heart.

> _From: Ainsley  
>  _ _To: Reyes_
> 
> _I’m sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry -_


End file.
